Rant

[MyNameIsElla]

So I'm not really that active here so I don't post that often so sorry about that then dumping this rant on you but I feel like I'm going to scream. I'm somewhat active in a transgender support group on Facebook and there is this one non-binary person who loves to tell binary trans people that they don't exist. They go on long winded rants about how gender is nothing but a social construct and no amount of reporting them works because supposedly its abusive to disagree with them. But the fact is gender is not a social construct but rather innate and does not have to match your body and it frustrates me to no end that they confuse gender with gender roles. I do not dispute that gender roles are a social construct nor do I dispute that the human mind is completely capable of innately separating itself from the gender binary what I dispute is that just because it is politically convenient to erase gender for a non binary individual that it is ok to commit erasure to my identity as a trans woman  to the point where I rage quit that community so they couldn't continue to treat me that way. I am feeling really triggered right now and I could use some support and I guess I'm going to be getting more involved here because my other community is run by a jerk who thinks it's ok to erase other peoples identity for the sake of their own political convenience.

[FTMax]

That is the good thing about groups online - there are generally so many of them that you can pick and choose what kind of community you want to be a part of. I think the understanding you've come to is that that group is probably not the right one for you.

If it were me, I would just leave that group and spend my time contributing to groups that better represent me. I've left quite a few trans related groups in the past for all kinds of reasons. Though it's always tempting to debate publicly when people are talking out of their butts, it's better in most cases to just drop it and move on to greener pastures.

I think one of the big take-aways in these situations for many people is the realization that just because a person is trans does not mean that you will by default have anything else in common or get along with them any better than you would a cisgender person.