"Transier Than Thou"

[JenniferLopezgomez]

Thank you

It seems you have become a victim of your own success.
Did you pursue the 'degree of fame' that you now have?
If not, then I can see how that could become a burden, as when you step into the limelight, you set yourself up as a target for people to hit. And you have to be very thick-skinned to survive it too. Hence my anonymity on this site and in general on the internet. You have to protect yourself.

Your comments about suicide are worrysome, and as you say you suffer from emotional instability, then a highly public profile is probably not the best idea to maintain. Scaling back your online presence, and limiting yourself from any attacks would be a very good idea to help your sense of wellbeing and happiness.
You really need to look after yourself first and foremost, any "internet fame" needs to come second, or not at all, really.
It's a tough old world, and the anonymity that the internet provides means that it's very susceptible to allowing people to make attacks from relative obscurity, it's not a place to be open and honest and public if it ends up making you suicidal. I am certainly not tough enough to put myself out there as an open on-line trans person, but I know this and so protect myself from such attacks. You need to do the same, to take care of yourself. I'm talking as someone who has tried to take their own life on many occasions, so I do know how it feels, I've been there myself.

Take care.
xx

Thank you V.

Hmmm well sure I've LOVED getting some degree of fame as a beautiful lady ---

Maybe I was too idealistic to expect that all people, trans and non-trans, would feel happy for me. Sadly, I discovered this is surely not the case.

Some men apparently didn't like some aspects of some significant successes I've had publicly, but it has been more various resentment on the part of some other women. Men usually like to view beautiful ladies like me, so male objection to me mostly came from misuse-of-religion bigotry. But I didn't experienced too much of that -- except a couple months ago when a black male religious bigot used one of MY public photos to lash out against trans female bathroom access in North Carolina. I pressured this bigot to remove his illegal use of my photos to promote his anti-trans toilet agenda -- he was calling trans ladies "perverts"and attached one of my genuine photos as his headline photo to promote an anti-trans youtube video. I reported on this in a separate thread here at Susan's when this happened to me about 2 months ago. His actions against me were obviously illegal.

You know, famous actresses are mostly admired, but there are always some haters.

Younger ladies aren't the only ones who have the right to be happy by being and feeling and dressing as sexy beautiful. And it is quite cruel for ANYONE to give an older lady like me intentional misgendering, ridiculing, saying "dress your age," and so on.

I am "playing the hand I've been dealt, but I am also changing the hand I was dealt into something far better."

I say to those people -- improve your own life and, if you want to, your own physical beauty, and stop putting others down to make yourself feel better. Period.

Jennifer xx

[Juliefin]

I'm fairly new to transitioning, being on HRT only two months. I'm not quite passable yet, but hope I will be at some point in the future: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2k-N2yuPg31T29TMEtqOUx1OWc

I feel like it's bad enough that this kind of intentional misgendering and bullying happens from outside the trans community. There is enough misinformation and disinformation as it is. It really saddens me to think that a fellow trans woman would be capable of inflicting such pain on someone else fully knowing EXACTLY what it feels like to go through that.

The unfortunate truth is that not everyone will be "passable". But as my gender therapist said, the better word is blending. It's not about pretending someone you're not. It's about being who you were. Following the path in life that was laid out for you. And having the strength and courage to not only come out publicly, but also to do with with the uncertainty of whether or not you will ever fully be treated as a woman.

But ultimately, like Beethoven, who did not bow down to the nobles, but demanded that the nobles bow down to him, the goal should not to be to just merely pass. The goal should be to demand that respect from each other and externally outside of this community regardless of how well someone blends in. That we are human beings, with beating hearts and feelings that deserve some level of dignity. That we need to do a better job of conveying and promoting through empathy just what it feels like to be trans. To be born into a body you've despised your entire life, and to have the other person imagine what that must feel like. And only then will the silly idea of passing go away. And will lead to the much better idea of allowing everyone to express their inner beauty externally, no matter if it follows gender constructs or not.

[JenniferLopezgomez]

I'm fairly new to transitioning, being on HRT only two months. I'm not quite passable yet, but hope I will be at some point in the future: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2k-N2yuPg31T29TMEtqOUx1OWc

I feel like it's bad enough that this kind of intentional misgendering and bullying happens from outside the trans community. There is enough misinformation and disinformation as it is. It really saddens me to think that a fellow trans woman would be capable of inflicting such pain on someone else fully knowing EXACTLY what it feels like to go through that.

The unfortunate truth is that not everyone will be "passable". But as my gender therapist said, the better word is blending. It's not about pretending someone you're not. It's about being who you were. Following the path in life that was laid out for you. And having the strength and courage to not only come out publicly, but also to do with with the uncertainty of whether or not you will ever fully be treated as a woman.

But ultimately, like Beethoven, who did not bow down to the nobles, but demanded that the nobles bow down to him, the goal should not to be to just merely pass. The goal should be to demand that respect from each other and externally outside of this community regardless of how well someone blends in. That we are human beings, with beating hearts and feelings that deserve some level of dignity. That we need to do a better job of conveying and promoting through empathy just what it feels like to be trans. To be born into a body you've despised your entire life, and to have the other person imagine what that must feel like. And only then will the silly idea of passing go away. And will lead to the much better idea of allowing everyone to express their inner beauty externally, no matter if it follows gender constructs or not.

+1 to your reputation for this post.

I strongly agree with nearly everything you said.

Hugs,
Jennifer xx