CarrieLiz's GRS With Dr. Chettawut, 8/9/16

[Carrie Liz]

So, first dilation just happened, just a quick 15 minutes with what I'll call "Dilator #0" (Chett gives you 4 different-sized dilators, those are the ones referenced in the dilation manual as "#1" through "#4," and then there's a tiny one (girth-wise at least) which is even smaller than #1 that they use just to demonstrate what the proper depth is. I'm calling that one "#0." This first dilation was with the #0.)

Basically, mostly this was just Chett's nurse coming in for 5 minutes, getting me into the proper dilation position (legs spread wide apart, knees up, basically in the "gynecological exam stirrup" position,) and then she shows you how to lube the dilators up (Jeez, she used a lot of lube. And considering that in Chett's dilation schedule he has you using every single one of the smaller ones every single time, you always build up from #1 to #4 one at a time without skipping any, and doing that 3 times per day, JEEZ. That is going to be so much damned lube. I've already used a whole tube just by doing two test dilations, it takes half a tube just to lube one dilator up, so I swear, I'm going to go through like 6 tubes every single day. I have to ask, surely there must be a more efficient way to do this?) Anyway, and then once everything is lubed and you're in the right position, she shows you how to put it in. Basically, you start with the dilator angled down at a 45 degree angle, slowly tilt it to a horizontal position as you push it in, and roll/twist it back and forth as you're putting it in. Then you keep going until you're at your full depth, apply a little bit of pressure to the back wall, and hold it there until the timer is up.

Considering how some people have said that the first dilation can be painful, I was pleasantly surprised yet again, it was pretty easy for me. Honestly this #0 dilator is so tiny that there was basically no pressure against the side walls at all as I was sticking it in. The only uncomfortable part was when it hit the back wall. It feels like it's hitting your internal organs, and it's a bit unpleasant. And I was kind of bummed when the nurse told me "keep pressure," so I had to maintain a bit of pressure on the back wall during the whole 15-minute session, so mild discomfort, and my hands are probably going to get pretty tired once I start doing longer 50-minute dilation sessions, I was kind of hoping that I could just stick it in and leave it and watch Netflix or something. :p

I was very gentle, I'm kind of scared of pushing too hard or something, but then when I'd hit about the 5" mark I asked "how do I get it in the last inch?" And then she pushed harder, and I was really shocked that it was okay to push it that hard, because I was scared of hurting something, but then it just kinda went in the rest of the way, so... that's going to be interesting and a bit anxiety-inducing because I feel like it's hard to know when you've hit the back wall and when it's okay to keep pushing harder or not. Whatever. Hopefully that won't be an issue.

Overall, though, not too bad. Discomfort level was only about a 2/10-3/10. I can tell it's going to be a LOT of work, though, once I move up to using multiple dilators per session three times a day. That is a LOT of cleaning, a LOT of sanitizing, a LOT of lubing, and a LOT of work. Chett's schedule has you using EVERY single dilator, all the way from #1 to #4, EVERY single time you dilate. That means lubing every single one up, and then cleaning/sanitizing every single one afterward. So I am definitely not going to have fun with that, and I'm probably going to be searching for some sort of shortcut to make it easier, because seriously, come on...

Also, this is just me, but I kept a mirror down there the whole time so that I could see what I was doing better, and EEEEE!!!!! I was so happy just looking at it. It's so cute! It's so pretty! Also, I'm definitely still feeling the "omigod I have a vagina!" feeling which just makes me so happy it's not even funny.

So, a few things I noticed in the mirror that I hadn't really had a good chance to look at before. First of all, I was wrong about my clitoris being big. (And I just heard from a friend, apparently the "Chett makes big clits" thing is just an urban legend, and one that Chett himself is actually well aware of. As well as the rumor that he asks you to prioritize whether you care about depth, sensation, or appearance the most. You can make special requests, but he doesn't ask you to choose like it's been widely rumored.) Anyway, back to clit size... the thing is, the clitoral hood is swollen. And I had basically just taken a look at the clitoral hood and assumed that the clitoris itself took up the entire space underneath it, and thus was rather large. I was REALLY wrong about that. I actually got to take a peek under the clitoral hood while I was dilating, and it's not big at all. It looks COMPLETELY 100% normal. Perfect size. So itty bitt and tiny and cute, I squeed like crazy. And it's very sensitive already, and just thinking that that little tiny dot is all that's left of what used to be a penis made me REALLY REALLY REALLY happy. I love it! (And it was that closer clit investigation that triggered that "squee! It's so CUTE!" feeling.)

Also, I'm so surprised how quickly the stitches and the scars and the incision sites are healing. It's only been a week, and already the wounds are completely sealed, nothing is open, (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to include a picture of the incision/scar so that I could show just how quickly/well it's healed after only one week or not... I personally feel like it would be really important for easing some people's fears, especially because the word "mutilation" is tossed around a lot in regards to anti-trans individuals criticizing trans surgery. Where I don't feel "mutilated" or "brutalized" or even like I had a surgery creating a new organ at all. It frankly already feels like it's always been there, and feels natural and healthy, after only one week of the skin healing. It has already healed so thoroughly and so naturally that it already feels completely natural. But I'm not sure if it would be allowed because the picture is very close to the genital area. But I do want to say... Being trans is beautiful. Trans surgery is beautiful. It doesn't feel like anything destructive or mutilating. It feels like a beautiful flower blooming. It's beautiful. You're all beautiful too. )


Anyway... in case it's not obvious, I'm still so happy with this surgery, and how everything feels, that it's not even funny. And dilation hasn't killed my mood yet. Mostly it was just sitting there with some mild pressure on the back of the vagina for 15 minutes, and then it took a few minutes to clean up, and then I was done. It wasn't too bad. I can't see longer dilation sessions being too much different.

Today was a very quick 15-minute session with the #0 dilator, tomorrow hypothetically I'll be doing two 20-minute sessions with #1, but I'm not sure yet, it depends what the nurse tells me.

So far it's really easy, but I'm definitely not looking forward to all the time and effort that's going to be involved once I start doing multiple dilators 3 times per day. I feel like dilation is going to take up half of my life once that time comes...

Only other update is that I'm officially off the strong painkillers. I've been slowly tapering off of them for a few days now, and I was still on them until yesterday because the swelling was still a problem, but this morning everything finally felt much more settled / less painful, enough so that I think I can make it with just the anti-swelling and anti-bacterial pills, so I decided to call a mortem on the painkillers. So far so good, it's 2:00 in the afternoon and I'm still basically completely pain-free. I feel basically healed aside from the swelling now. The incision sites don't hurt anymore.

Anyway, that's my update for the day. More tomorrow.

[Carrie Liz]

One quick thing I forgot to mention...

During recovery, the low-level pain is pretty constant and predictable, starting higher but then tapering off. But every so often, for about 2 seconds or so, there will be this sudden shotgun-blast of intense pain from a single nerve that lasts for about a second and then suddenly disappears again as fast as it happened. This happens. As far as I can tell, it's something to do with nerves waking back up, being shocked back awake, and it REALLY hurts, but it's for such a sudden split-second and then gone that it can barely be called an annoyance, it's just something that happens as all of the nerves in sensitive areas slowly wake back up one by one.

So far for me, it's happened probably a few times a day on average. And usually it's near the clit area.

Anyway, no real purpose in sharing that, it's just something that happens which I forgot to mention.

[Carrie Liz]

So, not sure if this is allowed or not, (if it's not, I'll gladly take it down,) but this is the scar on the upper right side of the surgical site. (There's no genitals shown and I've tried to frame it in a way that's not the least bit indicative of where the genitals even are in this picture, so hopefully I've met the criteria for it not being "obscene," or "provocative.")

This is only 8 days out of surgery. This is the scar on the top of the surgical site, and seriously, look at how nondescript this scar already is. Without the (few) visible stitches, it would seriously be almost completely invisible already. I'm kind of blown away at how skilled Dr. Chett is from an aesthetic standpoint. And I'm so excited to see the eventual settled non-swollen stitch-healed results in a few months I can't even contain myself!

Swelling has been going down all day, and I actually watched Dr. Chett's 2-year post-op exam video of another patient from a few years ago on his Youtube channel so that I could compare mine with a settled result, and I really recommend doing that while you're healing, because it puts everything in perspective. Once the swelling goes down, now I know where everything will be, and it's right in the exact position as the woman in the video (who by the way I said to myself going in "if I can get a result like that, I would be completely over the moon," so I'm definitely looking forward to everything being healed, I know it's going to be beautiful.

Anyway, here's the picture of the scar (with none of the obscene parts even on-screen. Just a scar to show how well healing along the scar lines is going already.)

http://tinypic.com/m/jjodbm/2

[shellsters]

Thank you soooo much for the descriptive updates. It really makes me feel better when I go in about a week. TMI doesn't exist in this situation! I love your candor and honesty about what you now have! Yes you should be happy! I'm praying for similar or close to the same recovery as yours.

I haven't read about how urination is going. This is one area that concerns me since I have a week bladder.  Even now I have to wear liners because of leakage and inability to make it quick enough. I'm wondering if the ability to hold your pee, or in my case not hold it well enough is the same, better or worse.

The dilation thing also scares me, I know I may not go deep enough in fear. I hope they will show me thorough enough and that I listen good too!

Keep posting!!! I hope all keeps going well for you!! 

[Jenna Marie]

I had a similar experience with dilating being relatively easy and yet eating my life at the 4X daily level.

So my one helpful suggestion comes from Brassard's own regimen: rather than scrubbing the dilators after every session, we were supposed to give them a quick rinse and then soak them in disinfectant until the next time (dry them off before use, of course). The disinfectant was hibiclens, diluted as suggested on the bottle. I imagine this might cut some time out of your sessions, since you have to clean *four* dilators, and it also provides better disinfection than hand cleaning anyway. Oh, and it might seem obvious, but dump out and replace the solution each time. You'd have to invest in some hibiclens, of course, but I used an empty gallon water jug to mix up the solution and only had to do that about once a week, because it didn't take much to fill the little soaking container I was using.

Once the first 2 months were up and the dilation frequency dropped to twice a day, we were allowed to stop the disinfectant bath and just wash them very thoroughly with antibacterial soap.

[Jacqueline]

So, not sure if this is allowed or not, (if it's not, I'll gladly take it down,)

Carrie Liz,

I just cleared this. Your photo is fine. Thanks for sharing such personal yet helpful information.

Warmly,

Joanna

[IWentWithChet]

One quick thing I forgot to mention...

During recovery, the low-level pain is pretty constant and predictable, starting higher but then tapering off. But every so often, for about 2 seconds or so, there will be this sudden shotgun-blast of intense pain from a single nerve that lasts for about a second and then suddenly disappears again as fast as it happened. This happens. As far as I can tell, it's something to do with nerves waking back up, being shocked back awake, and it REALLY hurts, but it's for such a sudden split-second and then gone that it can barely be called an annoyance, it's just something that happens as all of the nerves in sensitive areas slowly wake back up one by one.

So far for me, it's happened probably a few times a day on average. And usually it's near the clit area.

Anyway, no real purpose in sharing that, it's just something that happens which I forgot to mention.

I can confirm that both of these things keep happening as far out as a month or so post-op (where I am now). Constant low-level pain (especially after dilation) and occasional spurts of intense, localised pain. Though the latter has diminished substantially to about once every other day or so.


Also, be careful with investigating your vagina. I was told by Chet during the checkup that, no matter what, you shouldn't pull open your labia for three months, even to 'take a peek.' Otherwise you can damage your cosmetic result. Thankfully I hadn't (and still haven't), but with your enthusiasm - be VERY careful you don't do that... Though anything from leg spreading or dilating should be okay.

[Rachel]

Thank you Carrie Liz for the detailed information; it is very useful.

[Carrie Liz]

I haven't read about how urination is going. This is one area that concerns me since I have a week bladder.  Even now I have to wear liners because of leakage and inability to make it quick enough. I'm wondering if the ability to hold your pee, or in my case not hold it well enough is the same, better or worse.

I still have a catheter in for another few days, so can't answer that yet.

[Carrie Liz]

\Also, be careful with investigating your vagina. I was told by Chet during the checkup that, no matter what, you shouldn't pull open your labia for three months, even to 'take a peek.' Otherwise you can damage your cosmetic result. Thankfully I hadn't (and still haven't), but with your enthusiasm - be VERY careful you don't do that... Though anything from leg spreading or dilating should be okay.

I've been super-careful with not pulling the labia apart, or doing anything else which exerts pressure on the skin in that area, because I knew that it was something I was supposed to be gentle with. But I am kinda afraid that I messed up yesterday by pulling back the clitorial hood. I was still a bit scared about my clitoris being too big because of that bogus rumor I'd been fed before surgery about Chett making big clits, so it was something that I felt like I had to check to make sure... and while my mind has been reassured, and I'm glad it's completely normal-sized, I've been dealing with some hypersensitivity in that area ever since. So I hope I didn't hurt anything. I might have been a bit too aggressive with that. :/

[IWentWithChet]

Thank you soooo much for the descriptive updates. It really makes me feel better when I go in about a week. TMI doesn't exist in this situation! I love your candor and honesty about what you now have! Yes you should be happy! I'm praying for similar or close to the same recovery as yours.

I haven't read about how urination is going. This is one area that concerns me since I have a week bladder.  Even now I have to wear liners because of leakage and inability to make it quick enough. I'm wondering if the ability to hold your pee, or in my case not hold it well enough is the same, better or worse.

The dilation thing also scares me, I know I may not go deep enough in fear. I hope they will show me thorough enough and that I listen good too!

Keep posting!!! I hope all keeps going well for you!! 

It's a matter of biology that it will be more difficult to hold it in. The distance between your urethral opening and your bladder will be shorter by several inches. As a result, it'll be more difficult to hold in.

It's mostly a question of 'how much more difficult.' For me, it doesn't feel too bad. It just gets 'urgent' slightly faster than before. But it is slight - negligible even. Barely noticeable. I'm very interested to see how it is for Carrie (as well as if she experiences the same degree of pain I did when the catheter came out).

For others, I've heard the difference can be striking and incontinence is relatively common in the first while (not an issue I had). If you have problems with this currently, it's something to consider when considering doing SRS. Mention it to your surgeon - they may be able to take that into consideration.

Regardless - no matter what the degree is, your ability to 'hold it in' won't be the same and it will get worse.

[Carrie Liz]

Okay, I have to share this picture during the only time in my life that it will actually be relevant, genuine, and not the least bit sarcastic...



So yay! I was getting a bit worried because today was the 4th day since I'd started eating solid food since going off of my soft diet, and I could feel things getting a little bit backed up in there, some slight sitting discomfort was becoming an issue. So I was worried about constipation being a problem, and was actually going to ask the nurses about it if nothing came out today, but nope! Looks like everything's officially back online! Now I'm just waiting for the catheter to come out and all of my digestive functions will be back to normal...

[Carrie Liz]

So, before the nurses come and I have to start shoving plastic rods in myself for 20 minutes, (they're a bit late today, they sometimes come as early as 10 but today it's past 12:30 and they're still not here,) there's something else I'd like to mention quickly which I remember hearing from Calico way back when, in the spring of 2013, when she was getting her SRS in the exact same place, and I was just starting hormones.

SRS can make a big difference in how feminine your overall body looks to yourself.

I'm someone who does have a lot of body issues. I'm very large, I have a large chest cavity, a large head, I can always see the residual masculinity in my face's bone structure and my hairline, so I'm someone who often has a lot of trouble seeing a woman in the mirror. I saw Calico say this, something along the lines of "My body looks like a female body now. I always saw myself as someone who was very square and shapeless, but now it's like I can see my womanliness better."

I think one of the reasons why I'm so elated is because of being able to see the "complete picture" for the first time.

I'm not sure how many of you have read the study "Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach," but there's a section in that book where it talks about which parts of the body cause someone to gender a naked body as a male body or a female body. It's the reason trans women often have a bit of a harder time passing than trans men, because masculine-typical signifying features held more weight in terms of gendering a body male than female-signifying features held in gendering a body female. For example, people would almost consistently still gender a body male if it had facial hair and short head hair even if that body also had breasts and a vagina. But a body with long hair, no facial hair, and breasts, people would be unsure what gender that body was if it had a penis. The presence or absence of a penis was the single most powerful gender-signifying feature which made a body look "male" or "female."

So here's the deal.

Based on my daily life experience, I'm generally not read as trans. I'm not out to most people I work with, nobody ever seems to notice I'm trans, I'm never misgendered. But I often have a lot of trouble seeing it myself. There was always something, and I couldn't put my finger on what, that made my body look androgynous to me, as though it was teetering on the edge of looking either male or female depending on whether my hair looked good that day or what clothes I was wearing, which I felt like for some reason I was the only person who could see it, because absolutely everyone else always gendered me female no matter what. Even when I wore male clothes and tried to pass as my pre-transition self in order to vote (my name wasn't changed on my voting records,) I was still gendered female. But again, I just can't see it. So I really did wonder, with the "Gender An Ethnomethodological Approach" study in mind, was there a chance that it was because I knew I had a penis but nobody else did? Was it because that single male-signifying feature was counterbalancing the feminine features of my body to such a degree when I looked in the mirror that I couldn't see how feminine the rest of my body was?

I feel like I've got my answer now. Yes.

It's not the only factor, and it's definitely not a "fix" that I'm recommending for anyone, because from my own experience of being close to the trans community for so long, the "man in the mirror" is quite often the bane of every trans woman's life, and yes, almost always, we're the only one who can see it. It's just something you have to learn to deal with. That image burns itself into your mind after all those years of fighting against your own appearance, and it's really hard if not impossible to make it go away completely.

But surgery helps. This morning, looking in the mirror at myself completely naked, I noticed things that I never noticed before because the penis was subconsciously "masculinizing" my body as a whole in my mental image. I have hips. I have boobs. My shoulders are nowhere near as wide-looking as I thought they were. I have a feminine waist shape. And when I looked in that mirror, there was absolutely NONE of that "my body looks androgynous" feeling that I had before. I saw a woman. Completely. Nobody looking at me could ever say otherwise, even though I am still objectively large framed.

Basically, it helps to complete the picture. The whole picture went from looking 50% to 60% right to looking about 80% right. So yeah. It has helped me, in more ways than one, feel like my whole body is more "complete." And to look in the mirror and be able to definitively say "yes, that is a woman in the mirror."


(Again, though, disclaimer, I've always had strong genital dysphoria. So to me, this was a BIG deal in terms of finally having the body I've always wanted, so that's probably also why it's made such a big difference in how I see myself and how I relate to my body on a fundamental level.)

[Carrie Liz]

So, second dilation just happened, (once again with the "#0" wax one,) and it was pretty much the same as yesterday. Lube up, stick in, set a timer, sit there doing whatever for 20 minutes while applying gentle pressure to the back of the vagina with the dilator, then clean up.

I've had very little pain at all so far, so mostly it's just going to be a time-consuming chore for me, not something that I'm dreading or anything. But 20 minutes feels like nothing. It's felt like a completely insignificant part of my day so far. You start the timer, you zone out for a while, and then before you know it you're done. Hopefully 40 minutes won't be too different. (Fingers crossed.)

I am having a bit of a problem with reaching full depth, though. Basically, this has happened both times that I've been dilating on my own now, once I get to 5 inches using the twist-back-and-forth-and-push method, it feels like I'm hitting the back wall. It feels like it won't go in any further, and yet I'm only at 5 inches. "How do I get it to full depth?" I asked the nurse, "I can't get it the last inch." And then she basically grabbed the end of the dilator and pushed harder, I screamed "OW!!!" and poof, 6 inches. And she basically said "you don't stop when you feel like you can't push any more. You keep pushing until it hurts. And then you stop."

So yeah, it's always funny, I'm all careful and gentle with everything, I'm scared that I'm going to hurt the vaginal wall if I push too hard, and then she goes and pushes so hard that I practically leapt out of the bed because I was so surprised.

She explained "this happens because the end of the vagina is small, and when you push in you get an air pocket. So it will feel like it's stopped. It's not. Just push a little harder. Push until you get 6 inches."

So yeah, I guess I just need to remember to keep pushing, and not to stop until it's at 6 inches and pushing any further hurts. Fun.

Also, I did ask how the swelling was going, asked about what time I might get the catheter out, (it's getting really tiring by this point to still be peeing using an artificial plastic bladder that I have to carry everywhere,) and she said "next week." So I'm stuck with it probably until at least next Tuesday.

And finally, I mentioned my concern that I'd damaged my clitoris when I pulled the hood back, she said "no, it's okay, it looks fine. The sensitivity is just because of the nerves coming back, it will be very sensitive. And the stretching, just make sure you don't pull on it too much, because if you pull on it it consistently it will make the skin loose and it will be pulled out of shape." So mind eased on that. Thank goodness.

Anyway, back to more healing, being bored because I'm stuck in bed all day, and spending all day blogging, chatting with friends on Facebook, playing computer games, and watching "Chef's Table" and "Cooked" on Netflix.


First completely-solo dilation is later tonight, at 9:00 pm, hopefully I can get it to full depth without a nurse shoving it in the rest of the way for me.

[Carrie Liz]

So, apparently the nurse was right about the clitoral hypersensitivity just being because nerves were waking back up, because back when I was worried that I'd damaged it, it was just the left side that was hypersensitve. This afternoon, suddenly I had this big jolt of "nerve waking back up" pain, and suddenly the right side was feeling hypersensitive too.

Jesus, the clitoris is sensitive. It actually hurts to touch it at all. And every single time the catheter moves the wrong way and accidentally presses against it, it's a very sharp raw kind of pain, the kind that makes you jump straight up in the air because it's so sensitive and feels like a needle-prick.

So yeah, I'm actually kinda in pain again now after several days of almost 0 pain, because I'm starting to be able to feel the constant pressure on the clitoris from the swelling, and it's definitely not pleasant. That organ is so sensitive. Criminy. I really hope it settles down once the stitches come out at least.

(Also, I am so curious, how the heck does Chett even make a clitoris that sensitive? Like, in cis women it's absolutely that sensitive, my ex constantly had to tell me "stop, use some padding" when it was being touched too directly. But really? That much sensitivity from a neo-clit which was made using a tiny part of the glans, a body part which is barely sensitive to touch at all? How? I just have no clue how that's even possible.)

(But oh well, I guess that kind of sensitivity this soon after surgery is a good thing, because it's a virtual guarantee that I'm going to be orgasmic once I'm healed enough. That was one of my other (obvious) fears going in.)

[AnonyMs]

I've heard hypersensitivity just happens in a some percentage of results, but it will return to normal after a while. Same for no sensation.

[Tess2016]

Hi Carrie Liz.. I have been reading your story with fascination.. You have provided such detailed information. If my SRS goes ahead in January, I will understand a lot more about the process and what to expect. However, I will probably be having mine done at the PAI.. They are about $1600 cheaper than Chett.. I was hoping he would be cheaper since after your experience I feel like he might be a better option.. But that is a huge difference..

I really hope I will end up as happy has you seem to be.. I really can't wait..

Tess..

[Carrie Liz]

So, for the first time since the first couple of days after surgery I'm starting to have a couple of problems due to the way my body works.

Basically, I've always healed fast. But at the same time, my skin doesn't handle repeated stress very well.

A good example would be how early in hormones I started on estrogen patches. My skin reacted REALLY badly to the patches. After about 5 days, the entire area under the patch would be red and swollen and itchy as heck, and it would take a week or more for the resulting red marks to go away. This happened again with the bandages near the end of the time that the packing was in. I was SO itchy and red all over that it wasn't even funny, and I still have dark red/purple marks all over my abdomen and butt and upper legs from where the medical tape was holding the packing in place for 7 days straight.

So now I'm starting to have real issues with the catheter. It didn't bother me much at first. But now, the more and more days I've had it in, the more and more sensitive my urethra and the entire area around the tube have gotten. Every single time I move the catheter tubing the wrong way, there's a really sharp pain that makes me jump.

I've been off of pain pills for 2 days now, I've only been taking the anti-swelling and anti-bacterial pills, but now I'm considering going back on them until either the catheter is removed or my clitoris stops being so hyper-sensitive, because right now I've got two sources of really sharp pain every single time the least bit of pressure or agitation is applied to them, and it's really not fun. So yeah, for the first time in a while I'm not a completely-happy camper, I'm really wishing the pain in those two areas would stop. And I'm kind of surprised, because this clitoral hypersensitivity has kind of come out of nowhere. I was completely fine up until yesterday, 8 days worth of basically no clitoral discomfort at all, and now all of a sudden out of nowhere it's almost constantly sore. So blegh. Still on the fence about whether I want to go back on pain pills or not, but this is definitely annoying, especially because both pains are so sharp rather than just dull and achey.

(Late addition: It's weird, I just sat down for dinner on the butt donut, and the hypersensitivity completely went away. I then laid back down in bed, and it immediately started again. So I don't know what the deal is. Something about the laying position is putting pressure on the clitoris that sitting for some reason isn't. It doesn't make sense. I'll ask about it tomorrow. So I'm going to hold off on any pain pills, I'll wait to see what the issue is first. I'm so glad I get to ask the nurses questions every day!)

[jujubes1986]

ive watched your count down.... today it says 9 days after your surgery congratz girl

[Mariah]

It's got to be the position Carrie liz and frankly that is actually normal for having a catheter. It can be very irritating to things.I'm not looking forward to another catheter myself, but that comes with having SRS so it is worth it. Hugs
Mariah