One night I was using the chat here at Susan's. I was relatively new to it at the time, but I needed it very much that night as I was very suicidal and required as much support as I could receive. As if by the hands of fate, another person (the girl I am now madly in love with, we'll just call her Terra, though that is not her actual name) was available on the chat and was suicidal too. We thought we were trolling eachother because of our striking similarities. It was unreal and amazing, almost to the point that it was frightening.
With the help of other members in the chat, Terra and I have come to realize that we can help eachother because we can empathize our pain. I feel like we met for a reason. I was really going to take my life that night and talking with her saved my life. The awesome thing too is that it was the same for her as well! She wanted to end her's and she said if she hadn't spoken with me that night, she is almost certain she would not be here. We are eachother's mirror, as we like to say, like in Justin Timberlake's song Mirror; the lyrics in the song have never felt more true to me than they do now! We not only dream of meeting in person, we really honestly want to make this a reality. Right now, Terra is very vulnerable, as one of my friends from the chat likes to put it and has problems with trust like I do.
However, everyday she and I trust eachother the more we communicate, share laughs, and are just there for one another. I want to share my life with Terra, I love her and she loves me too! I just don't know how I can even get to the point of traveling to go and be with her or at least visit her for now. I want to take our online relationship even further. You hear true success stories all of the time about couples finding eachother online that can often lead to very fulfilling marriages. Yes, I want to be her husband. I picture myself having a family with her even. Am I rushing things? I don't even think I care for an answer to that because I just want to follow my heart, as corny as that sounds. I want my dreams of being her man in person, to come true. I want to protect her and never ever let her go.
