buying clothes and makeup for first time.

[xolovestephi]

Hey, So I think ive decided that Yeah I do wanna be more feminine and feel more feminine, I just wanna be girly. I already have my toes painted sre there anyother suggestions, for me to feel more girly? I also thought of buying makeup, and I also wanna maybe start wearing a bra and panties but idk if i can muster up the courage to go into vs PINK which is pretty much my dream haha... I would love to wear girly things but i just dont really know how, or what to do. This experience is new for me, ive always felt girly but this is the first time that i am expressing it. Help is GREATLY APPRECIATED 

[abd789]

Okay.....

welcome to the club

first thing to remember is its not that big a deal for you to buy girl things

I know that sounds silly and right now you are freakin cuz you feel its impossible

Ok, first thing is maybe drive farther away from your home, maybe a hour... where you wont feel so exposed

When I first started, I would buy a few things and buy a gift bag and birthday or anniversary card at the same time
made me feel like they thought it was a gift

you will find that its hard to size yourself for a little while. Check out online sizing guides for your measurements

Thrift stores are your friend, many have specials weekly or daily where certain things are a dollar or half price. This lets you scoop up several things for little cost and try them out. You will make many sizing errors and its best to pay second hand prices rather than full cost and maybe shipping fees. Also visit garage sales, another place to get things on the cheap.

I always played the "its for my girlfriend" routine, shes about my size....etc. Garage sale women LOVE when guys shop for their girlfriends or wives.... they thinks its so adorable

I used to carry a shopping list, a fairly large piece of paper so I could hold it up a bit and look it over while I was in the girls stuff.... for me it just seemed like I was buying from a list that I was given by my wife, you may wanna write stuff on it though just in case

As for makeup, get on the phone and call a few department stores and ask for the makeup counter, when you hear a super great friendly voice, just ask... "Are you ok matching transgender customers? Or Im transgender, would you mind if I came in for makeup advice? My first call was ok and I went right in, many are bored and waiting for a customer to work on so they dont have to do busy work or clean. Let them match your foundation, powder, etc and go as far as youd like, if they do a complete workup you dont have to buy everything. Just be honest and shake off the nerves, its not as hard as it seems. Once you get your foundation and powder match, you have a key. Those numbers can be used on a website called Findation, you can then find the other brands that are a match to that. I have a giant list in my purse! Then you can buy from drug stores or walmart where foundation is 10 bucks rather than 50!

You will feel skittish at first, thats normal, but it gets easier everytime you do it... I promise
Just go in like you own it and be confident even if you dont feel it....
There are more people in the world who dont care or wont notice or bat an eye than there are that do care.... even though it seems we are being the center of attention, thats in our heads. Just do it!

Good luck and have fun I dont even break a sweat buying anything these days.... and I was the most scared person ever when I started!

[JoanneB]

One friends advice to me was that the store clerks don't care (back in the days of commission sales), everyone's money is green.

A technique I developed shopping for clothes in guy mode was to:
1) First loop through the Mens department to see exactly where the try-out room is and if they have individual booths which most do these days. If so it's a sure thing the womens will
2) Verify if they do the "We need to count...." thing. If so the rest is out
3) Then look in the mens department for the Gigantor size slacks.  These will be used later to cover over all the obviously girlie stuff over your arm when you do the try-on
4) Then go over to the womens section and shop. Having an idea of your size ahead of time helps. Also be aware there are basic differences in fit between Juniors and Women, and the 'Vanity' sizing factor where a true 10 may actually be a 6. Perhaps just for that one style.
5) After about 6 or so items are picked, shoot over to the mens department, grab up the Gigantor Slacks, cover the girl stuff and go try them on.
     5a) Worse case if snagged, "My g/f asked me to hold on to these while she shopped some more."
6) When you're done, the stuff that you don't want go back and hang it up. Don't worry about the basket or rack that says put them here.

Buying makeup is easy. Buying makeup that actually works for you..... Impossible? 

[Mallory]

I agree with what Rita said. Confidence is key. The last time I went shopping I was pretty nervous, but no one said a thing. Walk in and just do your thing; don't pay attention to anyone else. You got this!

[Anne Blake]

Congratulations, you are starting on a great journey. As a guy, shopping was never a thing for me. It was just going and picking up some jeans, t's, etc. Now, shopping has really become fun! The replies so far are pretty right on. Second hand stores are easy and really affordable, a great way to find your sizes and style. It was really tough to build up the courage to get makeup guidance and finally enter the sacred Victoria's Secret domain but it turned out to be hugely easy and rewarding. My first makeup session was at a Sephora's. The technician was totally friendly and non judgmental. We had a great time after I got past my nervousness (which was only a few minutes). At Vickie's I was offered and accepted a sales clerk measuring me for proper fit, terrifying at first but it turned into another successful adventure. After a couple of times out I moved on to places like Maurice's, one of my favorites. I have been out shopping many many times and the only problems were getting over my own stressful nervousness. I have never been challenged or even made uncomfortable...the power of being a customer with some money. I can strongly recommend going with a cis gal friend if you can arrange it. Style guidance, affirmation, how to's about moving around in "girls world", and the fun of shopping with a girl friend all help get into the swing of things. While shopping used to be a thing to get done, it has turned into great times with friends. Going out with my wife, checking out some stores, picking up a cute top or two, catching a bite to eat at a local café, all a part of expanding Anne's appreciation of life and growing closer to my wife.

Enjoy the ride, live the confidence and don't let your fears keep you locked inside.

Anne

[DawnOday]

Post a picture and I can convert it to how you would look with your face contoured,make up, and proper lighting. It does build confidence when you look so good. I have done for Just Me Here (alyssa) and she now uses it as her avatar  Will you ever achieve exactly the same look? Depends how old you are. Under 25 is best, but the software does not care what age you are. It's going to do, what it is going to do. Most look pretty stunning and then there are some...It will also give you an idea of how you want to apply your makeup and the look you are going for. I did my picture and it looks pretty good. I even changed my haircolor because mine has turned a little grey.

[xolovestephi]

I cant thank you all enough for your support and advice!!!! I only have about 3 friends i can talk to about this stuff, so its great to just be abke come here and have 0 pressure and judgmental minded ppl! Honestly thanks you!!! I am from Canada and this whole journey has been very hsrd and stressful for me and its just the begginning. Ive had some thoughts of suicide, and have been depressed about it because it feels so impossible to all the things i want like wear bras, bikinis, makeup, panties and many more, but because of you guys i am slowly starting to muster up the courage to just try and be myself, One of my gal friends said she could take me shopping so hopefully one day that could come tru haha, I also just recently bought my first nail polish and juat as you guys said the clerk really didint seem to care they just want their cream hahah... Once again thank you all so much!!!!!!!!! Also I would send a picture but i was out in the sun boating all day. I was so jealous of the girls wearing bikinis I wanted one so badly. Thanks again!!!!!

[Anne Blake]

Greetings and congratulations on picking up your first nail polish! This is all about taking baby steps, growing a bit and trying another step. I found that I needed to stay fairly close to my comfort zone but stretching it a bit with each new adventure. It is a long fantastic journey and you are just at the beginning. You are at the scariest point of the journey, everything is new and you probably feel the risk unsurmountable and that everyone is going to read you and the worst of your fears will be realized. But that did not happen when you took a baby step and bought the nail polish did it? For me, it was this huge swing between fears, excitement, risks, and elations. Each step seemed way too big and risky but it just kept getting better and better. Thinking back to how I looked my first time out or even my fiftieth time out, I do not understand how we pulled it off but it just kept getting better. This is the scariest part of the journey but it is also the most exciting, after you have gone out for your hundredth time it will be great but it will be the hundredth time and old hat. It never gets old, the joys continue but the first times are, for me, the most magic. The first bottle of nail polish, the first time to a café with a friend, the first time buying a new skirt dressed and trying it on in the dressing room.....priceless! Anne

[sarah1972]

For a long time I mostly bought my girl stuff on Amazon. It is a bit challenging to get the size right, especially considering that the same size L can be completely different depending on brand and country of origin. Chinese sizes are usually much smaller (a Chinese L is maybe a US S).
Now that I am out to my wife and two friends it is a bit easier. Went shopping with my wife recently and she had great advice and help. Also got a whole drawer of cloth from her.
I do agree - it is all about baby steps. I have exclusively switched to girls panties month ago.
Going in stores Initially was pretty hard and the "girlfriend / wife" gift was always a good excuse. But I also realized that while you may get an odd look here and there, non of the store clerks really cares.
I am on a multi-week work Assignment at a customer right now and I did use some off time to venture into new things: went for a spa treatment which just seemed totally normal for the staff - they even offered to put clear nail polish on my nails. And after a while there was another cis male in the store.
You will see - it takes a lot of courage the first time but as menu said - it will get easier with time.
At this point I am still trying to pick stores by trying to figure out how supportive they are to the trans community. Target being one of them and one of my friends in the know recommend MAC cosmetics for a session on makeup since I was complaining about not finding good makeup. (She thinks it is totally funny seeing me going through a girls puberty in my mid 40's but she is super supportive and encouraging)
Not sure where you live in Canada - I have always had the feeing it being a lot easier to go shopping in Canada. I just felt way more comfortable, but have to admit that this was Toronto and Montreal, not sure how it is where you live.
I also have to admit that a lot of my open shopping happened on business trips where I could always pretend I may not see these people again. So maybe a trip to the next town over helps.
It is really all about baby steps. I made a few more this week, and the waves of good feeling I experienced are just unbelievable. (Baby steps are a whole lot more fun in 4 inch heels)

[Lilliana]

The first time I bought anything not male related I thought every eye on the store was on me.  I tried to buy things through catalogs (please allow 6 to 8 weeks for purchase to arrive) and then on line.  Now, I no longer care as it should be pretty obvious what is going on by looking at me. 

I do feel kind of self conscious buying makeup for some reason though I have had other women ask me my opinion on things which was cool.

[Steph Eigen]

Ebay is like a feeding frenzy for me.  I know my sizes pretty well in several major brands I tend to prefer so usually little question about fit and most vendors gladly accept returns.  This is the ultimate retail outlet and thrift store.  Like Amazon, buy it and it arrives a few days later on the doorstep.