I feel so useless

[KarlMars]

How can I read a book and learn nothing from it? I was once a book worm that absorbed information as a teen. I'm struggling to learn new video games. I don't know if I'll ever be able to keep a job. My tourettes movements are driving me crazy.

My mental health therapist told me that it's possible that I may not be bi polar once I take the hormones and may learn that I was misdiagnosed.

Did taking hormones make it easier for you to learn and make your brain less foggy?

[Deborah]

HRT definitely cleared the brain fog.  Before there was always a background rumble that often made it hard to concentrate as my thoughts would drift elsewhere.  That is now gone and my brain can focus like a laser when I want it to.  So, I think that HRT often helps in freeing one to reach their brain potential.

I do hope it clears up your bipolar too.  It certainly helped my depression that might have been diagnosed as bipolar had I ever sought any treatment.

[DawnOday]

How can I read a book and learn nothing from it? I was once a book worm that absorbed information as a teen. I'm struggling to learn new video games. I don't know if I'll ever be able to keep a job. My tourettes movements are driving me crazy.

My mental health therapist told me that it's possible that I may not be bi polar once I take the hormones and may learn that I was misdiagnosed.

Did taking hormones make it easier for you to learn and make your brain less foggy?

As I am finding out after only one week on hormones. I feel more aware of my surroundings, I feel more motivated as I suddenly have the urge to clean. No more white noise in my head and no it does not put you to sleep. Speaking of sleep, it's much better. I have the urge to talk which as anyone who knows me, knows is not my MO. Also I have a desire to be closer to my wife. Not sexually because that's not possible. But as girlfriends. Now the best change and I don't really know if I can attribute it to hormones but, it appears I am better able to keep from dwelling on every little detail. I was great for engineering and design but hell on the rest of my life. Based on the success so far. I have no reservations about going further.

[Elis]

This used to be me until recently. I used to be a real bookworm and avid reader; then came my late teen years and my depression just made me lose interest. And my dysphoria worsened after realising I was trans. 6 years of this got on T which didn't cure my depression like i thought it would so took antidepressants which made my brain even foggier and slower than my dysphoria or depression did. Went to a therapist for my social anxiety which to my surprise had worked. It let me sort my feelings out and to think of things in a certain way I hadn't before. Most importantly I learned I was normal. Around 3 months if therapy I decided to stop taking antidepressants and I'm so glad my brain is not foggy anymore. Plus my brain has now adjusted to the T and my changes are finally how I want them to be. So I'd say it's  around 75% therapy and the rest T. Now I can finally read and concentrate on a book

So I highly recommend a therapist (especially CBT which I have) and not just wait and hope for T to cure you (which I think many trans people falsely believe will happen)

[Kylo]

I think my memory is getting worse as well and absorbing information from books is harder. I seem to have a perfect memory for the negative things in life or bad memories and remembering smaller factual details is much more difficult. The only things that I still have excellent memory for are spatial awareness, memory of places on one viewing only, not getting lost, etc. Remembering names, faces and so on if they're not reinforced has always been difficult for me.

I don't exactly know what "brain fog" is, but I see it described a lot on trans forums. I'm not sure sometimes if people mean it makes it hard to concentrate, or interferes with memory, or maybe it's just a tendency to be distracted or not be able to sort out feelings. Until I know what it is exactly I'm not sure if I have it or if I just have a very selective memory and need things to be hammered in.

Few years ago my mum had a brain aneurysm and she developed a few memory issues, as well as dyslexia as a result. This wasn't acceptable in her job so she spent a lot of time doing memory exercises, word games and so on to improve the issues in her memory and kept her job. Far as I know it worked well, so maybe I will start doing some memory exercises and puzzles to help myself in the memory dept. One thing that does help is repetition - I'll watch or read factual stuff several times and that seems to make sure the information stays in longer.

[JoanneB]

HRT always had a way of shutting off the noise in my head... to a point. There is noise and then... There is NOISE

I know very well a "Bi-Polar" diagnosed transwoman and am familiar with others. HRT is no magic pill.

Did HRT make my brain less foggy? For sure. But YMMV as does mine many days. There is fog and then there is..... fog. Today is particularly bad, most days are not.

[KarlMars]

Thank you all for your input. Certain moods I have make it harder for me to read- when I'm under stress. Then the next day suddenly I absorb the information. When I posted this I was having a bad day and needed to vent. I have recently learned how to reach out to others which is something I never allowed myself to do before I came out as transgender.