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Trials and Tribulations Of A Middle Aged Transwomen

Started by michelleh, August 21, 2016, 01:09:34 AM

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michelleh

I have spent the last thirteen months blazing trails. I have struggled, struggled and struggled. I have never felt so much joy and fear side by side. I have dodged getting divorced, getting fired from work and losing my friends. I have been terrorized by threats about going into girls bathrooms or even men's all I want to do is pee. I wonder what the next day as a full time woman would bring I still don't. On top of that my father in law just died and was dying pretty much through all my transition up till this time. I've taken dirty looks from a teenager and silent treatment from formly friendly individuals. I have been told I am jumping off a cliff. Been talk down and told to watch it because I'll have to account for and stand before the judgement throne of GOD because I transitioning. My voice has been super critically shamed for not being female enough and my dysphoria lurks around the bend. Sometimes I lose my common sense because I sometimes I think I am a young teenager and make crazy comparisons unfavorable to me. It has been totally worth it because at least not pretending to be man even if society is sometimes desperately trying to push back on me to be what I am not. I just recently changed my name and gender marker to match my true self. I have earned every inch of womanhood and will continue to earn it because I know my disphoria doesn't sleeps but, my joy is ever increasing from those unexpected ma'am's to when someone calls me really beautiful wow. I have come to totally love my new girl friends CIS and transgender ladies who truly love me. So transitioning is about developing more than just skin deep. It is struggling like a woman or girl. Having compassion for those who need it. If God is watching He/She is probably super proud of many transgender girls who over come some of the most foul of human behaviors in themselves and others. Thank you for letting me ramble on, and on.❤️

Michelle
Veteran, United States Navy
Name and Gender Marker Changed: 15 August 2016
GRS and BA surgery: June 20, 2017
Voice Therapy: July 11, 2017

Started Full Time: March 2016






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KimSails

You go girl!!!

I've never had someone tell me that God will judge me for being transgender.  But when my life is judged, being transgender is NOT on the list of things I will be worried about.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
-Unknown 

~~~~~/)~~~~~
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Wanda Jane

Thank you soo much for your honest, uplifting and encouraging story. I'm 54 and just starting this journey. You give me a lot of hope. Thanks.
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Chloe

Quote from: michelleh on August 21, 2016, 01:09:34 AMI have been told I am jumping off a cliff. Been talk down and told to watch it because I'll have to account for and stand before the judgement throne of GOD because I transitioning.

Hey Michelle H, Great for you!! I too am older, have struggled with transition urges since late teens, and while feel a close kinship with God I no longer associate with preachy,  overly religious type people they tend to be ignorant followers at best totally intolerant of anything outside their own narrow "salvation quotient".

LOL Kinda like "ISIS" terrorists??

I was raised by Catholic Jesuits (dreaded moreso here in 'Deep South" than Texas) where embracing diversity in the world is the only real "Christian way" so your never going to change THEM. I despise those who "threaten" and withhold "acceptance" you and I are here to watch and warn because EVERYONE is facing "judgement day'!!

It is the end of the "christian era" (as we once knew it) that is indeed drawing near:

Quote from: ESV — Ezekiel 3But the Spirit entered into me and set me on my feet, and he spoke with me and said to me, "Go, shut yourself within your house. 25 And you, O son of man, behold, cords will be placed upon you, and you shall be bound with them, so that you cannot go out among the people. 26 And I will make your tongue cling to the roof of your mouth, so that you shall be mute and unable to reprove them, for they are a rebellious house. 27 But when I speak with you, I will open your mouth, and you shall say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God.' He who will hear, let him hear; and he who will refuse to hear, let him refuse, for they are a rebellious house.

SHAME is a powerful thing but it is THEY that need to fear!!
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend be two people!
"Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"
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