Update on life

[EmilyRyan]

I'm trying everything that everyone is suggesting but hardly any of them are feasible to my situation. Granted I looked at all the resources that been suggested but they all want me to already be diagnosed with ASD before being able to help and none offer any financial assistance for getting a diagnosis.

I've also asked around actual autism boards and I'm getting nowhere other than the same resource suggestions.
I'm getting frustrated to the point I'm never gonna get the help I need   

 

[Dena]

It took me about 8 years of working to accumulate sufficient money to pay for my transition costs as everything had to be paid for out of pocket, no insurance and no government assistance. Are you reading the paper, looking on the internet,  looking on the street every day for a job? It's not going to happen overnight and it's not going to be a jack pot payout. It will be a dollar at a time and it will take time but you can do it if it's really important to you and you work at it.

[EmilyRyan]

I need to get this done in months time not years

Please understand I'm unable to do odd jobs or work at the moment I need other means I really need to get a diagnosis for autism so I can get counseling services and employment help and they require an official diagnosis before they'll help. This is necessary to move forward with my life and without everything remains standstill.

Unfortunately getting diagnosed for autism as an adult is crazy expensive and none the places that do it around here accept insurance (both private and public) and my parents refuse to help.

I ask again what can I do?? I really need this it's urgent

Are there places where I only have like pay $20-$100 no questions asked??

Anywhere that offers free or low cost for college students??   

[Elis]

Surely there's a college bulletin board at the college which advertises places to rent. Or you could ask the office whether you could put an advert up yourself. At college it sometimes comes down to having the right connections.

[EmilyRyan]

Surely there's a college bulletin board at the college which advertises places to rent. Or you could ask the office whether you could put an advert up yourself. At college it sometimes comes down to having the right connections.

This is about the cost of getting a diagnosis for autism which sadly here in America is ridiculously expensive and most don't accept all forms of insurance either. In order to get help from those that help people with ASD find and keep a job I have to have a diagnosis first but to do that gotta have money 

I tried asking around about getting help with costs yet again and still nothing I'm about to give up and just let the psych ward deal with me.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

EmilyRyan, you're asking about getting a low cost diagnosis on the wrong board, okay? Nobody here knows of anything like that. It may not even exist. "The system" is not set up to help autistic people, that's why so many autistic people are homeless right now!

Dena is right. You need to set your life straight one day and one dollar at a time. I am on the spectrum and with hard work my symptoms have gotten much better, so much so that a psychiatry PhD student refused to believe I was on the spectrum (my psychologist knows better, but he's better trained in the symptoms). You can train yourself to make eye contact, for example. This is hard work and you have to work at it every day. You can desensitize yourself to touch. Push yourself. You can develop coping skills to make up for your cognitive deficits. Really.

You can have some of your dysphoria issues addressed in months. Get a job, get a therapist, and get on low dose hormones. Meanwhile, your life is keeping you busy now so you won't feel as dysphoric. Sitting at home ruminating about how your life sucks is sending you down a deep dark black hole that looks so deep you think you'll never crawl out of it. But you will. Moods are temporary. Moods pass. Moods don't define you.

If you can't get a job, get a hobby that doesn't involve the internet. Go outside your house and start collecting leaves. Or insects. Start taking cellphone pictures of birds. There are lots of free solo hobbies if you think about it. Something that absorbs your interest and takes your mind off dysphoria. I used to take pictures of trains, lol. My pictures are terrible, btw.

Maybe in the midst of all that, if you keep looking, you'll find the answer on diagnosis you're looking for. You know they say when one door closes, another opens. This door seems to be closed so you need to engineer a way around that door. Well, to do that you need to take care of yourself. Get yourself a crummy little temporary job and put some money in your pocket and eat up those hours you now spend feeling sad and abandoned and hopeless.

Btw, why won't your parents help you to get a diagnosis? Do they lack money or is it some fight over whether you're really ASD? I suspect if you have an income you might have some leverage to ask them for a loan or a gift to help pay for the diagnosis. I was able to bank $3k living at home back in the late 1990s and there's no reason you can't do that now. Not being diagnosed as disabled can be a good thing because the minimum wage for not disabled people is much, much higher than the minimum wage for disabled people, so chew on that for a while.

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/3/27/goodwill-paying-penniesperhour.html

[EmilyRyan]

EmilyRyan, you're asking about getting a low cost diagnosis on the wrong board, okay? Nobody here knows of anything like that. It may not even exist. "The system" is not set up to help autistic people, that's why so many autistic people are homeless right now!

I apologize I'm just sooo desperate for a solution that suits my current circumstances, which can't be changed till I get the help I need (and that requires a diagnosis according to the rules here in Tennessee). I've asked around on autism boards and yeah you're absolutely right the system is set up not to help and many blame the way American society continues to be the way it is toward people who are different.

Dena is right. You need to set your life straight one day and one dollar at a time. I am on the spectrum and with hard work my symptoms have gotten much better, so much so that a psychiatry PhD student refused to believe I was on the spectrum (my psychologist knows better, but he's better trained in the symptoms). You can train yourself to make eye contact, for example. This is hard work and you have to work at it every day. You can desensitize yourself to touch. Push yourself. You can develop coping skills to make up for your cognitive deficits. Really.

Between dealing with family drama (today included) and the way life treats me I've lost all ability to cope hence why I rely on friends and (for right now) photography to make sure I don't end up killing myself.

You can have some of your dysphoria issues addressed in months. Get a job, get a therapist, and get on low dose hormones. Meanwhile, your life is keeping you busy now so you won't feel as dysphoric. Sitting at home ruminating about how your life sucks is sending you down a deep dark black hole that looks so deep you think you'll never crawl out of it. But you will. Moods are temporary. Moods pass. Moods don't define you.

If you can't get a job, get a hobby that doesn't involve the internet. Go outside your house and start collecting leaves. Or insects. Start taking cellphone pictures of birds. There are lots of free solo hobbies if you think about it. Something that absorbs your interest and takes your mind off dysphoria. I used to take pictures of trains, lol. My pictures are terrible, btw.

Maybe in the midst of all that, if you keep looking, you'll find the answer on diagnosis you're looking for. You know they say when one door closes, another opens. This door seems to be closed so you need to engineer a way around that door. Well, to do that you need to take care of yourself. Get yourself a crummy little temporary job and put some money in your pocket and eat up those hours you now spend feeling sad and abandoned and hopeless.

Photography is definitely a hobby I enjoy doing I wish I could go into a train yard and take lots of train pictures I actually like trains as well

As for getting a job I'm for sure at this point I'm gonna need some sort of assistance whether it's vocational rehab, supported employment, or simply applying to a company that supports those on the spectrum like Home Depot or Walgreen's or try this company called Specialisterne which specifically takes those on the spectrum and train and hire them for jobs like information technology and even does job placement testing and even if not found to qualify to work for them they help find a place to work at. Kicker is for most if not all these options is that they require to have a diagnosis first that's like a main rule at least in my state otherwise I wouldn't be going on about this constantly.

I probably would never try doing temp jobs ever again the one place in town treats me like a joke and always tell me I'm not qualified for any of the offerings they have and honestly I think they think I'm a total dimwit.

Btw, why won't your parents help you to get a diagnosis? Do they lack money or is it some fight over whether you're really ASD? I suspect if you have an income you might have some leverage to ask them for a loan or a gift to help pay for the diagnosis. I was able to bank $3k living at home back in the late 1990s and there's no reason you can't do that now. Not being diagnosed as disabled can be a good thing because the minimum wage for not disabled people is much, much higher than the minimum wage for disabled people, so chew on that for a while.

My parents think there is nothing wrong with me and that I just don't try hard enough or that I just constantly "have my head in a cloud". When I was diagnosed with a learning disability and put in special education my parents totally disagreed with that but they didn't fight the school system and just let it slide.

Yeah I'm aware of the sub minimum wage that certain employers can imposed on the disabled thank to a labor law written back in 1938. While deplorable that such a thing exist I'm confident, with the proper help, I can land a job that pays decent even with being diagnosed.

Anyway I want to thank you for taking the time to reply and listen     

[AnxietyDisord3r]

If your photos are good enough, I guess you can sell them although there's lots of competition. Have you tried working in food? It's a face paced environment so it's hard to "space out" and you work with others as a team. It's a way to make money so you can pay for your assessment with your own money. I worked at a family owned place and they didn't care I was on the spectrum because my till was never short. I got a free meal every shift which I liked.

Some really low level employers have anti discrimination policies that include trans people, so that's a plus. Wendy's and I think Starbucks too?

You have to hustle at these jobs but you end up making friends through trauma bonding because the customers are crazy.

You've made all these plans based on this diagnosis, sounds like you need to make a plan to GET the diagnosis.

Also, have you tried writing a letter to the providers explaining your financial situation and asking for assistance? I don't know if that would work or not but it doesn't cost anything to ask.

[EmilyRyan]

The last two jobs I had (goodwill and walmart) were both fast paced and I wasn't able to keep up well enough despite trying and was fired from each for being too slow nevermind that I was never late and never had an attitude with management. I just think that any food/kitchen jobs would be a nightmare unless I found a truly laid back place but from what I know about that industry there isn't and plus with all the background noise that usually goes on I probably wouldn't be able to hear too good or not at all (another problem I have that I'm gonna need to deal later). I've talked to the counselor at the college and he even suggested to either find a job that's slow paced or maybe a fast paced job where the management would be understanding and if I have no choice but to get a fast paced job then thats how I'm gonna go about it.

I do like the idea of selling photos online but like you said lots of competition and from what people I've talked to said it's no income guruanteed like one person has put over 20 photos on shutterstock to sell and has only made like 500 dollars in a two year span. If I knew I could make like somewhere between 20 to 100 dollars in a week or even bi weekly I would do it.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I have a friend with a major anxiety disorder who got a job transcribing recordings. It was piecework and he just got really fast at it. This might not be good with an auditory processing defect. Can you understand speech well if there's no distracting noise?

I have an auditory processing defect. I had to answer phones when I worked in food and I sometimes had to ask people to repeat themselves. Once I memorized the menu it got easier. That's where I learned the fake patter and persona. It was a shield for me because I actually loathe being on the phone.

That same friend who did transcription got fired from Walmart for a bs reason (they switched his department, then claimed he was too slow in the new one), so don't take it personally. Walmart is horrible with firing people for dumb reasons.

Retail is cutthroat as heck. I worked retail (Staples and CVS) and I worked food and food was a lot better because you're a team that works together. Yes, there are some jerks working in food (not to mention the ex cons--but they aren't all bad), but it's not a situation like in retail where people steal sales commissions from each other and managers threaten workers for not making sales quotas so they can make a raise and having to lie to customers to sell add ons like service plans. To have a good experience in food just apply to a place you really like to eat at. I have another friend who's had lots of trouble keeping jobs but worked a whole year at Chipotle b/c she liked the food and it was an okay place to work despite having a crummy general manager. I wouldn't assume that just because you are burned out on retail that you can't handle food. OTOH if you have a really, really bad sound distraction problem I could see how food wouldn't work out. I am personally distracted by music but not by banging and crashing sounds so the noise in a restaurant never bothered me.

There's a whole field known as data entry where you look at sheets and enter the stuff into the computer. If you're good with a keyboard you could do that. Minimal interaction with others and you're typically paid piecework rates so your pay is relative to your fastness and accuracy.

One more pitch for food, if you present male you could easily get a min wage gig as a dishwasher. Doesn't really matter if you get distracted. As lowest person on totem pole all they really care is that you look busy washing trays and pots and pans so they don't run out during peak times. You could put in earbuds and listen to something that focuses you and they're unlikely to care. Even at min wage you can earn $3K pretty fast if you don't have to pay rent or food costs at home.

[Gertrude]

The autism boards may suggest ways to be tested. We really don't have that type of information available so unless one of the members who has autism, knows the process and post, you aren't likely to find the answer you need here.

A psychiatrist/psychologist could diagnose, but to what end? For kids, it's important in order to get special education services, but for adults it's much more limited, at my age, just for curiosity.

Autism runs to some degree in both my and my wife's family. Two out of five of my kids have been diagnosed and a third probably has it? But she's so smart and high functioning that it doesn't matter. I have mild aspergers and my wife has some asd traits too. She didn't talk until she was 5, but then in full sentences. I am more of the nutty professor. Having both asd and gd has been a challenge at times, but the gd is worse in some ways.


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[EmilyRyan]

I have a friend with a major anxiety disorder who got a job transcribing recordings. It was piecework and he just got really fast at it. This might not be good with an auditory processing defect. Can you understand speech well if there's no distracting noise?

Depends on how loud the noise is and if there are one or more noises going at the same time.

That same friend who did transcription got fired from Walmart for a bs reason (they switched his department, then claimed he was too slow in the new one), so don't take it personally. Walmart is horrible with firing people for dumb reasons.

Honestly I think it's gonna get where all companies do this.

Retail is cutthroat as heck. I worked retail (Staples and CVS) and I worked food and food was a lot better because you're a team that works together. Yes, there are some jerks working in food (not to mention the ex cons--but they aren't all bad), but it's not a situation like in retail where people steal sales commissions from each other and managers threaten workers for not making sales quotas so they can make a raise and having to lie to customers to sell add ons like service plans. To have a good experience in food just apply to a place you really like to eat at. I have another friend who's had lots of trouble keeping jobs but worked a whole year at Chipotle b/c she liked the food and it was an okay place to work despite having a crummy general manager. I wouldn't assume that just because you are burned out on retail that you can't handle food. OTOH if you have a really, really bad sound distraction problem I could see how food wouldn't work out. I am personally distracted by music but not by banging and crashing sounds so the noise in a restaurant never bothered me.

Just can't help but think that food/kitchen would be worse but you do bring a good point about retail and to why I would never do sales to save my life. Maybe food/kitchen wouldn't be bad if I can get somewhere that understands autistic people and honestly that's the kind of employer I want I know that's being picky but if I have to be stuck with a crummy job I rather it be one that's at least understanding. The banging and crashing sounds would not only bother me but those sounds scare the living daylights out of me. 

There's a whole field known as data entry where you look at sheets and enter the stuff into the computer. If you're good with a keyboard you could do that. Minimal interaction with others and you're typically paid piecework rates so your pay is relative to your fastness and accuracy.

I could do data entry if fastness wouldn't a factor. Accuracy I can do. Being fast not so much. I took keyboarding in high school and college and best I can do is like 20-30 words a minute. But yeah if I can get with someone who rather me be accurate than fast then I would do data entry for sure.   

[EmilyRyan]

Big issue I have is why isn't more being done to help us that are on the spectrum like with employment and helping with costs of getting an official diagnosis for late bloomers such myself this continues to be a hot topic issue on the autism boards on ->-bleeped-<- and Wrong Planet and it also saddens me that there are many who defend the system's unwillingness to help and defend employers for rejecting autistic job seekers like what did we do to deserve this??

   

[Gertrude]

Big issue I have is why isn't more being done to help us that are on the spectrum like with employment and helping with costs of getting an official diagnosis for late bloomers such myself this continues to be a hot topic issue on the autism boards on ->-bleeped-<- and Wrong Planet and it also saddens me that there are many who defend the system's unwillingness to help and defend employers for rejecting autistic job seekers like what did we do to deserve this??

Deserve has nothing to do with it. Societies are collectives that take on a life and persona of their own and as such have their own moral compasses and sensibilities that is indoctrinated to the individual members. Usually this compass is created and pitched for the lowest common denominator. Cultural change takes time. The best we can hope for is to be that change.


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[EmilyRyan]

Deserve has nothing to do with it. Societies are collectives that take on a life and persona of their own and as such have their own moral compasses and sensibilities that is indoctrinated to the individual members. Usually this compass is created and pitched for the lowest common denominator. Cultural change takes time. The best we can hope for is to be that change.

And it's a shame it still like this in 2016

[EmilyRyan]

Today I've decided I'm not get a job until I finally have a proper diagnosis.

Decided to try my luck again on landing a job and went against my better judgement of applying to a fast food place. Much to my surprise I got an interview which I just had earlier today. The interview didn't go well and not only that but today's experience further makes my case of what is wrong with employers and the culture that encourages their prejudices. First I thought the interview was going well with the usual like showing up on time and looking presentable (and in male mode since I'm not on hrt), questions were basic and nothing difficult or out of nowhere and I thought I was maintaining good eye contact. Unfortunately that wasn't the case cause the interviewer then suddenly mentioned that the was I was maintaining eye contact was "odd" and proceeded to mention I seemed clueless cause the way I spoke when answering questions and this is where I thought this was a cue to admit that I am "in the process" of getting tested for ASD and I went on to explain that I was capable of performing duties and what not. After waiting almost 20 minutes after the interview I was then told "I didn't meet the qualifications" for the position. Yeah right I know why I wasn't hired but there's nothing I can do about it.

Best thing now is to find a place that'll test and diagnose at little to no cost (which isn't looking likely) and once I'm finally diagnosed (if ever) I'll just simply rely on what services are available that help with employment. At this point this most likely my only way of ever achieving employment.           

[EmilyRyan]

Anyone here possibly have any ideas how I can further self advocate?? I'm running out of options and every passing week is getting more discouraging

[EmilyRyan]

I guess I'm better off either committing myself to a psych ward or suicide.... sorta leaning toward suicide. I can't get no help in any of my situations college counselors are no help, autism support boards are no help,contacted several organizations and they don't offer diagnostic services and there's no funds to help either and each had made clear I have to be diagnosed to even receive help, I'm constantly ignored on here though I know why but it's not helping my case, I still can't get a job due to my issues and can't hide my issues.

I'm freaking better off dead since I can't get the help I need       

[Sno]

Sweetie. We are listening and we do care.

As you've listed in you posts below, Walmart and Home Depot do have a positive position on staff diversity. I'd keep knocking on those doors, they will more likely open up.

Alternatively, have you thought about janitorial work or cleaning offices.? Yes, both are minimum wage, but hey, something is better than nothing, if it helps along the path. Even  babysitting can fit around your studies, but won't be fixed or regular.

Sno

[Gertrude]

And it's a shame it still like this in 2016

It won't always be this way


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