So, I am in a weird place. I am 8 months and 1 week on HRT. My face has changed pretty noticeable and my hair is a lot longer but I still look male, albeit androgynous or perhaps feminine with shaped eyebrows and faint facial hair.
After a period of over a year of unemployment, I was just brought on by two companies based in Taiwan and China, respectively, to work as an online ESL (English as a Second Language) Teacher. As a college educated, native English speaker and an AP/Honors English student in High School, this is right up my alley. I also have experience working as a tutor in college and really enjoyed it, however this was before coming out and very much strongly male looking/sounding. I am excited at the opportunity to work comfortably from home and finally have some money coming in and a productive job to occupy my days.
HOWEVER...
Nothing about my legal identity has yet been changed in my transition. My legal name is still my birth name, which is the name I applied and will be working under. All my accounts and profiles are labeled Male. One of the companies requires all 'men' to wear a shirt and tie. The other one appears to be a little more lax with dress code but I am still required to maintain a neat & professional appearance.
I have anxiety about this because I know that I will continue to change over time and they have no idea I am trans. However, I sent them my introduction/interview video with my hair down and thin eyebrows, my "everyday" sort of look, and they didn't make any note of it and readily accepted me. I am nervous that eventually I will look exceedingly androgynous/feminine and not be able to hide that something is up. And maybe it would be no big deal if I just go by my male name, wear the shirt and tie, and just act natural. After all, clients are there to learn and practice English, and they're not going to be discriminatory about how I look. There will likely be very little to no face-to-face interaction with headquarters/corporate people.
I will attach some pictures of what I look like today in front of the camera, and a picture or two from the past week of my "neutral" look, with hair down and earrings in, however with no makeup.
My questions for the forum are, about how long do you think I will be able to appear as definitively male? Do you have any advice for how I should handle navigating the situation? Should I just stay mum about the whole thing for as long as possible, even if it means working as a very feminine 'Steven'? Should I write coming out emails to the company after several months if things are going well? I really just don't know how to handle this situation and I could really use some calming words or sage advice to calm my anxiety. This is a really great opportunity to make & save some money to put towards loans, food, life expenses, laser, clothes, etc.
My partner's been very clear that I'm going to be fine, that how I look will not be an issue, that I'll have no problems working as Steven even as I proceed with HRT. He says if anything I will just look like a feminine or androgynous guy and that it's going to be okay, and that they are going to love me and that I'll be successful. I just want to feel reassured that things are going to be okay and that I'll find a way to resolve everything.
This is what I looked like today in front of the webcam, with loose hair, sans work clothes:
This is what I looked like last week in neutral mode, no makeup:
This was an attempt I made yesterday to butch myself up with boy mode. I did some eyebrow makeup which I've been told is maybe too much of an attention grabber vs. my natural brows:
What do you think? Think I'll be okay to work in boy mode for a while? Any advice on how to handle the situation? Any calming words?
Thanks very much for the feedback.
