Rosey, I can so relate. Before I started HRT I was 5'11 and 175 lbs, very strong and athletic. Now at 8 months HRT I still have an athletic build, and I am still strong compared to girls, but weak compared to guys. My strength has diminished significantly. I used to play basketball all the time, competitive pick-up games full court, and haven't played in forever. It's definitely the biggest thing I miss from before. I also used to lift weights a lot, which I have barely done in the last year. I can feel that I am much weaker. My partner can easily hold me down, and push me off of him with ease. It's crazy, how in the bed I find I actually enjoy those feelings, but in the world I feel shame and melancholy over how much less stamina I have, and anxiety towards having less force at my disposal. My fitness practice now consists almost entirely of yoga. It works, and helps me to feel good and combat aches, tightness, cold feet/hands, but I miss doing intense exercise.
It's my sincere hope that later in transition when I have more 'stabilized' my hormones and my body is not changing so intensely, that I can get back into recreational sports and a 'gym rat' lifestyle. But right now I have so little money and stress from thinking about college loans, insurance, clothes, food, etc etc. that I don't know how to get there. But I so pray I can.
I want to get back to a place in my life where I can follow a training regiment, get into martial arts, and compete in sports again. I grew up enjoying athletics and I feel it's an integral part of myself that has been mostly shelved for the time being, and I feel very sad about it