So (TMI sorry) I don't have PIV sex anymore (haven't in years) though other penetration is fine with me--I'm getting a bit older (46)--between having been on T a number of years and my being of / getting close to menopause age anyway, things are definitely, uh, tighter lol.
I still get wicked turned on & self lube is not an issue, but evidence of my being turned on is more evident in that I get hard as opposed to open. Wow this is a lot of very personal information HAHA
To avoid incontinence: kegels!