My Coming Out Letter / Facebook Post.

[Confetti]

After many revisions and changes I think i've finally cut it down to what is relevant.
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"Sometimes, what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free."

For each of us, there comes a point in our lives when we decide who, or what we want the world to see us as, and how we want to present ourselves to it.  Going into my final year of university, I will be graduating and starting a career in just under a year which means now is the perfect time to do this.
After living as my unauthentic self for twenty years, I want to finally be able to look in the mirror and recognize my reflection, and after twenty years of mastering how to unconsciously communicate a false exterior of 'myself', it's time to set myself free.
I am transgender. I have always been transgender, and will continue to be. As a child I would express my desire to be a girl once I grew up, but going through schooling repressed these thoughts.
I have lived my life as a people pleaser, somebody who could never say no to anyone – except myself. Each time I decided it was time to live authentically and 'come out' I would tell myself no. I have lived through overwhelming sadness/dysphoria and have felt like I was grieving the death of who I really am, whilst remaining in a flesh prison.
In other terms, I am going to be taking steps to make my external appearance match how I feel internally, which is female. I know this is going to be confusing for some, and others may not understand which is why I urge you to ask me any questions you might have.
Twenty years of confusion and fear have led up to this post and what is honestly the scariest moment of my life so far. Knowing that I could lose so many people from my life over this is terrifying, but I am choosing to stop feeling like a victim, and start feeling empowered.

18.09.16

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What do you think? I'm hoping to maybe revise it a little bit and come out to my aunt or friend first, then my parents and then fb.

[jendawn47]

my suggestion is to make sure you have told all those people who are important to you before you publish it.  Some people get there feelings hurt if they see it on the internet instead of being told in person.  Also understand that not everyone will see it  on facebook so if you do not hear from some people it might be that they did not see the post not that they dont like your decison

Good luck


Jennifer

[Steph Eigen]

I agree, you must conceive a strategy to inform those close to you and also those in your immediate day to day life (e.g. workplace) of this event they are about to see unfold before them.  Best if you write and generally express you desire to transition but extend further inviting each to share the experience with you, asking each of them to join you and  help in what you expect to be a difficult and challenging time in your life.  Draw them in at a personal level.

As a general concept in all things from business memos to personal life events such as this, announcements that broadcast what will befall the reader ("I'm transitioning, get ready for it. You are now officially informed.")  and more often rejected or prone to incite a less favorable response in the reader than ones that inform and invite participation ("I've come to a point where I must make a change in my life living authentically, please join me in my difficult journey").  I intentionally used a bit of hyperbole in the first example to make the point, but you get the idea.

I'm not sure facebook is a good way to do this sort of thing in general.  To  my original point, I would approach each and all people who are in your primary circle of friends, family, colleagues, work associates, etc. and speak to them directly.  At minimum, the next tier of friends deserve at least an email or something similar, something more personal directed to them.  I, for one, would not want to incidentally discover such an important life event browsing facebook.

[KarlMars]

This is about the way I described feeling about being born in a female body. Like it was a woman suit and I wanted my interior soul to match the exterior.

[Confetti]

Thanks everyone, my plan is to tell the people closest to me first of course before posting this online.

This is mainly to just solidify my point, and also for acquaintances, those in my class etc.

[DawnOday]

Sweetie, some things you just got to do in person even if you just turn over a letter. In person they can see your passion and commitment which sometimes we can't get the point across in a letter. Your gorgeous, obviously smart, apparently committed, and young.   But don't consider it failure if they don't acknowledge you. That's their problem not yours. They have chosen their path and you should be able to choose yours. Good Luck.

[Rachel_Christina]

I think its really well written, and I some what similar to my own I have been drafting.
What you said about being a people pleaser is exactly how I am, sad :/
I'm so happy for you, almost ready to break free

[BeverlyAnn]

What you've written is good but, to me, it needs to be amplified some.  Because my family is so scattered and none were friends on Facebook, I sent my letter which was three pages out by mail.  Several people here have asked to use parts of it and Susan's coming out letter on Facebook is also excellent. 

[Confetti]

I think its really well written, and I some what similar to my own I have been drafting.
What you said about being a people pleaser is exactly how I am, sad :/
I'm so happy for you, almost ready to break free

I think being a people pleaser is something that makes this an even harder task, I've spent so long wondering about how everyone else is going to feel about this all whilst ignoring how being in the closet is making me feel.
Thankyou so much!