Why would a guy say he's ok wit me being trans but then stand me up?

[Angélique LaCava]

A guy who is a customer for where I work has been asking different cashiers where I was cause he wanted to get my number ever since he first saw me n like a week ago he came in wen I was working n came straight to my line n asked me out. We talked 2 hours a day the past 4 days n last night a few hours before the date I told him I was trans  n he was surprised n said "well this is a first" and I asked him if he was ok wit it and he paused n said "I guess" so I told him I'll see him later n that I couldn't wait for our date and he said he couldn't wait either, but come time of the date he didn't show or reply to my txts  n he still hasn't.

Why would a guy say he's ok wit it if he isn't?

[ezjuliani]

He was just being nice, not to hurt your feeling. By not showing up for the date well there your answer.

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[Angélique LaCava]

He was just being nice, not to hurt your feeling. By not showing up for the date well there your answer.

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so u don't think he thought he was fine wit it n then thought about it n decided he couldn't deal wit it?

[ezjuliani]

Yes, give them room to deal with it.

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[DawnOday]

Welcome to womanhood. Being stood up has been going on since the beginning of time. I remember my sister who is CIS as well as being Sis being stood up a number of times. I assure you my sister was hot. But it happens.  If he is really interested  he will be back. Take it slow. Let it build. It's a learning experience for both of you.

[Angélique LaCava]

Welcome to womanhood. Being stood up has been going on since the beginning of time. I remember my sister who is CIS as well as being Sis being stood up a number of times. I assure you my sister was hot. But it happens.  If he is really interested  he will be back. Take it slow. Let it build. It's a learning experience for both of you.

ive been stood up before but I've never talked to a guy this long without letting them know that I'm trans..... Id hate to think that me being trans is the only reason he isn't interested anymore cause he was so hot :/.

[KathyLauren]

There's no way of telling if he was just being polite when he said he was okay with your being trans or if he changed his mind later.  Maybe he was talked out of it by his buddies.

But standing someone up is totally un-cool.  If he couldn't make it or even if he just changed his mind, he should have shown a little class and called you.  Everyone carries a phone, so there's no excuse.

[stephaniec]

all I can say is that I got my heart busted up pretty good with a guy I met online. Things were going great for a few months and he was perfect and my guard was coming down and he was a business man and hot . I got boxed in because I didn't say anything about being trans when we started talking and I just realistically couldn't get away with not telling him so I took the chance and told him and damn I shouldn't of let my guard down and get hurt.

[xAmyX]

Ah, any guy that will drop his eye on the prize surely does not deserve the prize. You will find someone that loves you for who you are on the outside, and on the inside. Embrace being free, and flirt with & date other hotties.

[itsApril]

Why would a guy say he's ok wit it if he isn't?

Short answer: because he's a social clod.  If he shows up again, he needs to have a good explanation for not showing up and for failing to respond to text.  By good explanation, I mean a serious story of being kidnapped by aliens or something.  If he got weirded out by the trans thing, I understand that.  Some people just can't deal with it.  It happens.  But even so, he owed it to you to tell you.

Life's too short to waste any of it on people who don't value you.

[Miss Lux]

Don't judge me ok but I never tell the guys I date that I am a post op trans anymore...I know, I know...I don't encourage not disclosing... But to each her own....I 've told 5 guys that i am post op in my entire life .... 1st- one when I was super young - he got depressed for awhile got over it but we never talked after 2nd- Was a lawyer he treated me like a queen super inlove then after I told him in a snap of a finger he was gone, no text no call never talked again , well he called once after and just wanted to have sex respect was gone gone I sensed 3rd- Told him he was cool about it we remained friends but he got married right after we broke up, still friends 4th - Was cool about it just Said i don't wanna know i don't care but we broke up got married immediately after but still good friends 5th -I told him he said I don't care about your past...but i can sense things changed but we still go out  on dates friends for a long time he is my therapist I know,I know....so now I don't tell the guys I date anymore and usually d break ups are never really related to being a trans anyway.... Some guy friends who knew before surgery/ friends pre-op seems cool with it started courting me post op etc but They're just brothers to me - so no...still friends....luckily I never had a bad or violent experience.... The worst probably is they just back off and ignore me after discovering....like I don't exist , like I am air lol....like at work some jealous cis girls would gossip and tell the docs who are courting me/asking me out about my past.....there you go that's my experiences....

[EmilyMK03]

I told him I was trans  n he was surprised n said "well this is a first" and I asked him if he was ok wit it and he paused n said "I guess"

This quoted text (which the guy said) tells me that he was never actually ok with your being trans in the first place.  He probably just said he was ok (but he wasn't) because he was in shock and surprised.  And his mind was still processing it all.

His reaction is understandable.  But what is not acceptable is him standing you up on the date.  Not showing up, with no explanation whatsoever, makes him a total douche bag.  People who respect others and their time do not do things like this.  All it takes is 5 seconds to send a quick text or email and say "sorry but I can't see you anymore".  That's really the absolute minimum for decent human behavior, and he couldn't even do that.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you, and even though he was hot, the fact that he disrespected you and your time tells me that in the long run, he would not have been good for you.  It's probably better that you're not going to waste any more time with him.  Sorry that you had to get hurt to learn that about him though.

[Lady Sarah]

He probably got nervous about going out with someone out of his league. Guys do that. They fantasize about being with a gorgeous woman, but then ain't got the guts to go through with it. 

[DawnOday]

all I can say is that I got my heart busted up pretty good with a guy I met online. Things were going great for a few months and he was perfect and my guard was coming down and he was a business man and hot . I got boxed in because I didn't say anything about being trans when we started talking and I just realistically couldn't get away with not telling him so I took the chance and told him and damn I shouldn't of let my guard down and get hurt.

If you are constantly being hurt and build up a wall around you. You won't be able to recognize the real thing. First things first. Internet relationships are not that reliable. As anybody can be anyone they want to be. 

[DawnOday]

We are young, we run free
Stay up late, we don't sleep,
Got our friends, got the night, we'll be alright
Throw our hands in the air, pretty girls everywhere
Got our friends, got the night, we'll be alright

[Iwantboobs68]

Well it was his lose your super beautiful, but it wasn't right him standing you up like that.
What ever the reason honisty is always the best way even if we don't want to hear it.... x

[VickyMI]

Actions speak louder than words.

Old but accurate.  Many people say things they don't fully mean or follow through with.

[Rachel_Christina]

Maybe he will come round, for alot it is something tgey have never heard of or seen before, maybe he will come back later, sorry for what he done, and ask you out again! You may be on his mind, he is just trying to figure what everyone would think, people he knows, I hope he just goes with how he felt when he first saw you! I always try see tge nice side of things, I hope it works out for you, you deserve love! 🙂