Questions from a newbie. Need help.

[NCLDH]

I'm 18 and male and think I want to become a girl. Most people regard me as masculine and  have no suspicion. I've identified quite close to girls my whole life yet I'm still not certain I'm completely transgender. Living as a male doesn't cause me Much distress  I just think becoming a girl would make me happier and feel more natural.

Main stumbling blocks are telling my family but the biggest is the fact I'm concerned I'll never pass as a female. At least not an attractive one. I have some more feminine features like big eyes but I have a prominent forehead, thick eyebrows and thin lips. Also my voice is deep even for a man, and surely it's too late to change this now?

Essentially what I want to ask is how long does it take to reach the point where you're virtually indistinguishable from a girl and how much will this cost? Also what do most do in the meantime when they are caught in limbo between two genders?

[Megan.]

Hi and welcome 😊. There is no set path, and your concerns are valid and very common. My first stop was to find a good therapist who had some experience dealing with gender issues. Alternatively try to find a local trans support group, go along and meet them, I'm sure they'll be welcoming and happy to answer some of your questions.
Ability to pass fully in your chosen gender can depend on many factors, but with effort and if desired (and budget allowing) some surgeries, most of these can be addressed.
Many have to face the awkward in-between phase, and again this can vary widely, but it is a reality you may have to accept if you chose to fully transition.

[KathyLauren]

I second the recommendation to see a good gender therapist.  They will help you decide what your goals are, and can tell you what your reasonable expectations are.  They can also help plan your "coming out" to your family.

The voice changes and bone growth that occur at or after puberty are permanent.  Sometimes they can be changed with surgery.  The therapist will be able to help you decide what to aim for.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The cost can be all over the place depending insurance and other programs that may pay medical expenses however it's best to save as much a possible to fund what ever expenses come up. I have the brow ridge which I cover with hair and it's never been a problem. FFS is available but it's expensive and sometimes requires a surgery lasting as much as to day to do the work. Voice training in many people can produce a feminine sounding voice but sadly in my case, the voice was just to low. I had voice surgery that pushed my voice into the upper male range and then from there, training took it into the female range.

You would be surprised at how many attractive women have masculine feature but the truth is the most important thing is not being attractive but accepted as a woman. We can help you explore all this and you only need to ask.

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