Thinking out loud

[LizK]

Thx Liz  yes it has mainly, due to me lol but now ive  removed  the  self imposed  blocks
The best thing is no bs with this doc just straight  down the line
He actually said it was a pity I had not been caught at 15yrs old..... When  I got home and thought  about that I shed a  few tears  ,

Every now and then I think about the day I stood in my therapists office at 19 after she told me she thought I had some serious gender issues. I told her nicely (I was still polite in those days) that she had rocks in her head and left to go straight to the Pub...what would have been the outcome if I had stayed and listened to her instead of getting drunk....

[Drexy/Drex]

Yes I understand  😕 what the doc said to me was that everyone  has regrets ie the smoker with lung cancer, etc
Being a kiwi myself I understand  what sort of peer pressure  and society  you had to contend with!
At 16 my gf asked me to wear her bikini  I wanted to.... But decided  it was to unmanly and was worried  if it got out  socially,

[LizK]

Yes I understand  😕 what the doc said to me was that everyone  has regrets ie the smoker with lung cancer, etc
Being a kiwi myself I understand  what sort of peer pressure  and society  you had to contend with!
At 16 my gf asked me to wear her bikini  I wanted to.... But decided  it was to unmanly and was worried  if it got out  socially,

OMG another ONE!! you from the mainland or north

[Drexy/Drex]

North.... They are a bit more liberal there but not much 😀

[Drexy/Drex]

Busted today lol

Lol busted at airport  ....my big pirate mate has rejoined for work in the bush us anyway he's sitting there with his gf and another work mate...  Shake hands he goes  in his mega phone voice what you wearing  mascara  for?!  then before I have time to answer he says  oh well looks like you had a good time.... Then when we land and all the other crew going out milling  around  at the airport he yells hey check this out he's wearing  eyeliner  or something  lol.... Oh boy am I gonna get hammered  humour wise this week.... I'm just gonna  say er I got drunk  and woke up like this.... Or went to a Goth party or hey I'm transgender  you ain't  seen nothing  yet.... Lol oh boy 😂
Teach me for messing around like this lol



<edit Language>

[LizK]

OMG that is amazing you look fantastic...I love your makeup...you are way better than I am...I think that Goth look actually suits you...come on lets see some more

[Drexy/Drex]

Lol OK I'm at the mine bar with boof heads ATM  ....amazing  what a km of foundation  can do lol

[LizK]

Lol OK I'm t the mine bar with boot heads ATM  ....amazing  what a km of foundation  can do lol

Its the look in your eyes that I like...devil may care

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you Liz 😘  🔓 Mmmm it  was my first outing in public  😆

[Drexy/Drex]

This is my demure  look which one for my psych appointment  I wonder

[Dena]

This is my demure  look which one for my psych appointment  I wonder

That is pretty good. I wasn't sure you could pull it off when I first saw your picture however you are already at the stage where if I were to walk past you on the street, I likely wouldn't read you. More time on HRT holds promise.

[Drexy/Drex]

Thanks Dena... Yes it's makes a difference  hair and makeup  when I start Hrt  and a nose job brow job etc I might just be happy.... thanks for you encouraging : )
Hmm photos have disappeared  ....photo  bucket glitch  I'll have to reload nthem

[LizK]

This is my demure  look which one for my psych appointment  I wonder

I think you look smashing, You are kicking goals...the one and only picture I had of you in my head was one you had as your avatar I think for awhile...

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you Liz 🌹😊
Well I. May as well use it as my avatar  as probably  the best pic I'll have of me as my real self
It's interesting  but in pursuit  of getting this look I had to out myself  in public  ie go and get fitted for that wig with cis people  about etc buy  make up... but it seems  the more open I become  the easier  it is and
the more natural it feels   and I'm  finding I don't really  care or feel so feel self conscious  as well  I can't wait  to get on hormones, I have to wait 6 weeks or more it seems  for my psych  appointment  .....whew.... I have all the hormones  I need in my fridge... But I want to do this the right way so  I can get recognized  and change my name and gender etc

[LizK]

Thank you Liz 🌹😊
Well I. May as well use it as my avatar  as probably  the best pic I'll have of me as my real self
It's interesting  but in pursuit  of getting this look I had to out myself  in public  ie go and get fitted for that wig with cis people  about etc buy  make up... but it seems  the more open I become  the easier  it is and
the more natural it feels   and I'm  finding I don't really  care or feel so feel self conscious  as well  I can't wait  to get on hormones, I have to wait 6 weeks or more it seems  for my psych  appointment  .....whew.... I have all the hormones  I need in my fridge... But I want to do this the right way so  I can get recognized  and change my name and gender etc

Its funny what will eventually drive us to do the things we need to transition. There really is only one way to do this and that is get out there and try. I think with HRT added into the mix you will have great results, not that you don't already. I applaud your patience especially since you have the meds sitting their. Whether or not you can see a glimpse of her or not I don't know but purely from the outside looking in I see  woman slowling climbing her way into the world...you are doing great.

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you  Liz 🌹

[Drexy/Drex]

As requested  Liz 😉 just  messing  around

[eyesk8rboi]

I am a sentimental person so I think I will "miss" who I used to be....But at the same time, I've taken care to take many pictures and make many memories.

I actually went on a rant to myself about how I wasn't going to look at "Melanie Courtney" as a dead name....And I wasn't going to pretend like the female me never existed.

My view is, (and I know that this way different for a lot of people)....I have been Melanie Courtney for 23 years.

Every boo boo, every lesson learned, every mistake, every kiss, every hug, every family gathering, every everything to this point has made me who I am today and all of that was done as Melanie Courtney. Moving forward, the rest will be done by Steven Lee...

[LizK]

As requested  Liz 😉 just  messing  around

These two are my favourites out of the photo's, which one do you like the best?...me I would say the first one is the winner for me

[Drexy/Drex]

I am a sentimental person so I think I will "miss" who I used to be....But at the same time, I've taken care to take many pictures and make many memories.

I actually went on a rant to myself about how I wasn't going to look at "Melanie Courtney" as a dead name....And I wasn't going to pretend like the female me never existed.

My view is, (and I know that this way different for a lot of people)....I have been Melanie Courtney for 23 years.

Every boo boo, every lesson learned, every mistake, every kiss, every hug, every family gathering, every everything to this point has made me who I am today and all of that was done as Melanie Courtney. Moving forward, the rest will be done by Steven Lee...

Food for thought  ,  hadn't  thought  of it like that... always  imagined  one would  be a composite  of both