Thinking out loud

[Drexy/Drex]

Got my latest bloods yesterday , well all is good I think, used female ranges to compare and my estrogen is good and surprise....my testosterone has actually gone down one point...! I'm surprised because I'm not taking any blockers
So my t is a bit above the lowest range for a female....I hope it doesn't go lower
Luckily I never took the Spiro the doc gave me  or I would have killed it all off. ..not good


Androgens



Date               26/10/16  30/06/17  20/09/17  02/07/18

Time               1345      1031      1631      1443

Lab No.            443733016 426172317 426956781 428350772 Units     Reference



Testosterone        73.7 H    16.4       0.5 L    <0.4 L   nmol/L    (8.0-28.3)

SHBG.                  8 L      13 L                       nmol/L    (21-77)

FAI                  921 H     126 H                                 (27.0-65.5)

Free Testosterone 2891.3 H   521.3 H                       pmol/L    (185-437)


Hormones



Date               08/08/16  30/06/17  20/09/17  02/07/18

Time               1330      1031      1631      1443

Lab No.            443561376 426172317 426956781 428350772 Units     Reference



Oestradiol           673 H     <25 L     233 H     410 H   pmol/L    (28-156)



I feel good though, in fact better than I ever have
especially mentally...
It's amazing ...that quip about running on the right fuel....it's really true ..I guess it was meant to be ironic
In the wet mess the other night we had two tables that were apart  so my workmate called out for me to drag.it over and make one,....I called out that they were bolted down....he says just rip em up....I retorted that a year ago I could have ....I pulled out my mob and showed off a pic of Markie for the girls .....they were amazed at the change ....my mate kinda hung his head ...like it seemed in disappointment
Well he remembers me from the last job
Up
Yes Markie was a beast of a man
100 push ups to warm than 30 straight reps 100kg bench press ...before going heavy.
....had the whole package according to some girls
I was joking with my  gf co-worker about how men would actually apologize for being near me .... because he was so intimidating ,she said i still was 🙄
But for all his strength and prowess
He was ...quiet... never did really take advantage of what he had.
So weird this Drexy person....is the opposite almost a complete tearaway..
Definitely not backward in being forward
This is kinda self indulgent ...but it is an interactive diary of sorts ....  I can look back in wonder at the struggle that began here .


Mmm I feel guilty about this guy hope I can do him justice

[JudiBlueEyes]

Good news on your lab work Drexy.  As far as doing that "guy" justice, I think you already have.  And your co-workers seem to sense that Drexy is a happier, healthier person. 
Judi

[Drexy/Drex]

Thx Judi ....your very perceptive ....and well I guess that's true .... I've got some hard yards in frt
But you know it's true about my workmates .....and I'm very grateful for that 😊
Hmmm it's complicated....lol
I think I will save that photo for the before and after thread in about a year's time 🌈

[Drexy/Drex]

My first makeover since FFS ....went ok I was going to go out but last swing was really tiring
and it's raining so I'm staying in with my pusscats on the warmth







Mmmm after the makeover she presented me to her husband and her brother ....got positive feed back ...first time I've been in frt of males but I went well
Then Victoria said with a twinkle in her eye ....time to get you a wardrobe ....big grin .....you need a dress she said ...she looked at her watch ....but it was too late to go to the shop she had in mind .,..oh she's such a doll 😍so classy and so understanding 😉

[JudiBlueEyes]

Drexy you look wonderful!  What a wonderful smile. 

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you  Judi 😘 .....i do smile a much more tan I used to 😊

[Laurie]

WOW! Drexy What a good look she did for you. And she's right you need a dress.

[LizK]

My first makeover since FFS ....went ok I was going to go out but last swing was really tiring
and it's raining so I'm staying in with my pusscats on the warmth







Mmmm after the makeover she presented me to her husband and her brother ....got positive feed back ...first time I've been in frt of males but I went well
Then Victoria said with a twinkle in her eye ....time to get you a wardrobe ....big grin .....you need a dress she said ...she looked at her watch ....but it was too late to go to the shop she had in mind .,..oh she's such a doll 😍so classy and so understanding 😉

I am just so happy for you ...it bought a tear to my eye to see how good you looked.

You went through so much and you look soooo good. That look will just keep on looking better and better as the healing progresses.


Yes wardrobe time...have fun you look great...did I already say that LOL


Liz

[Drexy/Drex]

Hi Liz  thank you so much  for that....😍😘 You know when I began I never thought  I could  have got to this point I'm so  much more happy than I used to be you know what i mean 😘 😊
Thank you Laurie  still a bit of smoke and mirrors  ......but a dress would go a long way😉😘
My next hurdle...
Oh I forgot....  I saw my psychiatrist  after six months  she'd  been  reserved  about me having FFS so early
the last meeting  and had wanted me to tag with a psychologist with more experience  in this area... but after I met with her.... she asked me when I would like to catch up.... She was genuinely  pleased and surprised with my progress.... Lol my doc is like my dad and she is like my mom.... Bless them.... 💞

[charizard]

You're looking amazing, and it's great to see that you're feeling happy with the progress.

[JudiBlueEyes]

Drexy the beautiful part is that you can see how you can pull off two distinct looks!  With the hairpiece you look approachable and flirty, yet with the scarf you look mysterious and coy.  Awesome!  You Rock it! 
Judi

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you charizard.....yes the main thing is happiness😊
😘 thx Judi.... that's so good  to know as my main headware is scarfs / bandanas
www.bandanashop.com/deluxeheadwrap.html
https://www.headcovers.com

Still experimenting  with headware.....now to get my body to match😉

[JudiBlueEyes]

A lot of interesting covers at those shops. 

Your body will get there!  Remember, woman come in all sizes and shapes.  Acceptance starts in our minds.  You are there!

Judi

[aaajjj55]

Drexy, I remember your avatar when you first joined the site and the transformation you have achieved is nothing short of spectacular.  I hope you will treat us to a few more photos on the before/after thread as your transformation is truly inspirational.

[Allison S]

Awesome look Drexy! Very pretty [emoji4]

Quistis is that you?! Queen [emoji4]

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[Drexy/Drex]

Yes true Judi ....I just have a few mills to move....and then my first dress.😲🤔😊

aaajjj55 thank you .....I never thought I could ever get.to where I am  ....yes it will be a pleasure

Allison  thank you   😊

[Charlie Nicki]

My first makeover since FFS ....went ok I was going to go out but last swing was really tiring
and it's raining so I'm staying in with my pusscats on the warmth







Mmmm after the makeover she presented me to her husband and her brother ....got positive feed back ...first time I've been in frt of males but I went well
Then Victoria said with a twinkle in her eye ....time to get you a wardrobe ....big grin .....you need a dress she said ...she looked at her watch ....but it was too late to go to the shop she had in mind .,..oh she's such a doll [emoji7]so classy and so understanding [emoji6]

You look stunning! The doctor did a great job with your FFS.

[Drexy/Drex]

Thank you Nikki 😊yes he did when I was sitting  in his office  at the end of the consultation
I said I would leave  it up to him  to work out the final details
His office is like a shrine to the beauty of woman
He has very good taste, and his wife who Is absolutely gorgeous
did my Rhinoplasty..... I felt I was in good hands
Oh and he is very handsome  too!

[Drexy/Drex]

So thank you to everyone  who made such kind comments it made me feel much more real😊

Back to work tomorrow  , I'm going to start an exercise  regime at camp... I had to buy a baggy track suit first
as I can't  wear singlets  any more.... well I can.... but anyway I'm overweight  shows how quickly  one can lose
Form... In my case maybe 7mths darn I should  have known  better 😑
Still Liz inspires me with her determination  ....i need  the same attitude
I had a double tongue piercing  yesterday  so that is inadvertently  helping my calorie  intake
I had to go buy a whole  bunch  of chicken  soup packs to take with me to camp as otherwise I will be starving..
absolutley cannot eat  solid food  atm  ...drats Im taking a heap  of avocados and sardines
olive etc but I think it  will be a week before  I can even entertain  solid food.... The girls told me I wouldn't  feel like eating  and they're  dead right.
Up at camp I'm  dealing  with amorous   females.. I don't think I  have ever had this level  of interest from  women... But camp romances  can go sour and then your stuck in the middle of nowhere  in a drama....
Anyway I'm appalled  at how my body shape is... and if I get my gear off then theres the boob's to contend with😳
Well I'm  privileged  to have these problems
...i wonder how long before I get sick of chicken soup lol
After learning  about the use it or lose it principal I ended  up buying a "bathmate hydromax" to exercise  the tissue
it's a bit crass  but it works I don't have to be in the mood and shower time does the trick hands free
Money well spent.

[LizK]

Everything is handsfree these days...oh well if you can't beat them you may as well join them.  But I digress

I can imagine being stuck in the middle of nowhere with someone who is really ticked off with you...there is no where to run and there is no where to hide....that makes for some ugly scenes.

It kind of hit me all of a sudden that whilst I had taken care of a heap of things in my transition I had not taken care of the thing I could have the most control over and would cost me nothing...my current body shape. Once I realised I had to remove the layers of accumulated weight before HRT can have a chance to put any new fat gains to the right places I found the spark of an idea of what I needed to do. Once the seed was planted and I looked at my body shape carefully and tried to imagine being 25 kgs lighter than I am now I realised that I could easily have a much more feminine shape simply by dropping the excess weight I carried...apart from all the other health benefits. 

Drexy you can do this...you have been through so much and come so far already I have no doubt you will get to where you want to be.

Take care
Liz