Beth, you said, "Many of the stresses she faced were exactly what we face, constantly acting in a way that is uncomfortable, avoiding situations that make the feeling worse and living a lie."
Though I'm post-op (1999), I still have that UNCOMFORTABLE feeling now and then. Even when people seem totally accepting of me, I can have an undercurrent of emotions -- waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. It's happened about four times in all those six years where someone figures out or has discovered my previous gender. When bad things like that happen, perhaps it's human nature to place more importance on that than all the thousands of times I've "passed" as a woman. You try to laugh it off but it still can hurt. As public acceptance of transsexualism becomes more common, this UNCOMFORTABLE fear that pre-ops AND post-ops face will presumably go away. It, unfortunately, may take a few generations.
Teri Anne