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An update on me...

Started by Michelle_P, October 15, 2016, 09:19:13 PM

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Michelle_P

Quote from: JeanetteLW on March 23, 2017, 11:36:30 PM
WOW!!! Michelle  Kaiser events are sweeping you away. Does it feel like floating on a cloud?  Did you pinch yourself to make sure it wasn't a dream?
That's really great Michelle I am happy for you.

Huge Hugs,
   Jeanette

Yeah, it's a little surprising.  All of a sudden all sorts of things are starting to happen.  I think it's from getting connected to the MST organization at last, plus hitting the one-year mark on HRT soon (in terms of medical time...).
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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LizK

Quote from: Michelle_P on March 23, 2017, 11:30:38 PM
Those who know me know that I have some fierce dreams.  They got a little closer to reality today.

I had a phone appointment with a nurse at the Kaiser Multi-Specialty Transitions (MST) clinic today as a follow-up to my session with a therapist a few weeks ago.  As a result, I now have:

1) Appointment the week after next with the GCS surgical folks to set up my GCS, possibly with Dr. Salim.
2) Appointment for a FFS consult in May with Dr. Kleinberger, who works with Dr Shih and was trained by Dr. Speigel.

This is a major step forward for me.

That is just wonderful, I know the US health system has its issues but when I hear things like this I am heartened. I just wish the Australian Government would come to the party and help pay for my treatment. My understanding so far is I have to find 15K and then I get one "choice" of surgeon or I go OS to Thailand.

Sounds like your care will be smoothly co-ordinated and should hopefully all fall into place. Hopefully :)

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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2.B.Dana

The Kaiser site seems quite progressive in terms of transgender care. The surgeries I found listed seemed directed at trans men. Have you been able to get any feedback on GCS preformed under this program? So many ladies focus on the pro/con of surgeons all over the country/world, I wondered how these compare. Anyway so exciting for you!
Cheers,

Dana

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Michelle_P

I'll know more in a week from Monday, when I meet with the surgery team folks.  My understanding is that the in-house team trained under Dr. Meltzer in Arizona, and is very good.  The folks I know who had surgery from this team tell me that they got a two-part surgery, the full vaginoplasty followed after several months with a revision labiaplasty.

I'll be meeting with them, as well as with a social worker, and will report back on all the details.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Michelle_P

Well, things have been getting odd again in my life. Some good, some not.

I had another electrolysis marathon yesterday, two 2 hour sessions.  Almost all of my face has been cleared of original growth now, maybe 1 1/2 square inches in front of the right ear to go.  Yesterday's session spent a couple hours re-clearing the upper and lower lip down to the chin and jawline, then a couple hours clearing the left cheek from the jawline to the top of the ear.

Sore today, to be sure, but damn!  Waking to my cheek sliding across the pillow rather than scraping was an attention-getter.  I spent much of the say smiling and touching my cheek.

I heard from my youngest daughter.  She's reaching out to me and wants more texts and phone calls. This is a nice change from "don't contact me, I'll be in touch wine I feel like it".  I guess she feels like it.  She passed the last exam needed to get her court reporters license, and she has sent in the paperwork to get the actual license.  This has taken her years of effort, and I'm very proud of her for persevering and accomplishing this. 

I had our pre-op group session today.  These are sort of frustrating for me, honestly.  A group with a dozen people in it isn't going to get very far in a session.

On the way there, I was walking near the transit station when a woman approached on the sidewalk from the opposite direction.   I had on my usual smile, and she was smiling.  Normally there'd be a quick glance at shoes and sweep up to the face, and a smile at each other as we passed, normal female street protocol.  Instead, she showed a frown for an instant, the eyebrows raised, and then she went to a big smile.  Uh oh.

As we passed, she said, "By the way, you look great!"  Well, that's a nice complement, but very unusual behavior for two women passing on the street.  I'm pretty sure I got clocked and was complemented on a "nice try, dude" basis.  That was a real mood-killer.

In the session, there was a very odd case of a gal who was approved by psych and insurance for a surgery, but deemed not worthy (no medical reason!) by the surgeon she was assigned, and a bunch of related complaints by others about having to prove worthiness over and over for each surgery or treatment.   Gatekeeping again.  The therapist running group tried to justify this, some of the patients called her on it, and I laid into her pretty harshly on gatekeeping and that trans people are 'special' in that we have to get psych approval for treatments similar to ones that are essentially informed consent for anyone else.

I've got an individual therapy session tomorrow midday, and Thursday and Friday are prep and the actual melanoma surgery respectively.  I'll be getting a sentinel node biopsy, cutting into the armpit and removing selected lymph nodes to see how much the melanoma has spread and to better plan future treatment.  I'm hoping for good results. 

Friday is the Transgender Day of Visibilty, a day to celebrate the good things in our lives and let the world know we are here, and are actually nice people.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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LizK

Michelle I hear you gal

I spent the day dealing with Bureaucrats trying to get my name changed...Talk about gatekeeper mentality. They beat me down in the end and I have taken $150 punt that the document I get they will accept...if they happen to feel like it.

That Smooth feeling is pretty darn good....mine is currently smooth and lumpy(mainly from the injections) but all those stumps...they are gone, nice feeling ;)

Great news the communication is starting to turn around with your daughter, I guess she has worked it out for herself that you are still you. Sounds like a great start

ITDOV...I will get to see the video I was involved in promoting the day hopefully sometime in the next few hours.

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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JeanetteLW

Hi Michelle,

  I was pleased to read about your daughter opening the door a little wider on yours and her relationship. There is hope yet. Sometimes you just have to pull back and have patience, trusting the eventually things will change in your favor. And it looks like your patience is starting to bear fruit. There are situations where you just cannot push. You throw yourself out there and hope for the best.

I liked your description of your cheek sliding smoothly across your pillow instead of scraping. It does sound like something to bring a smile to ones face. I supposed a person has to start that torture before they can achieve results like yours. *sigh*  (someday....)

  Your meeting doesn't sound like it was fun unless you like reaming bureaucrats. Hmmm there could be some therapeutic value there ...

  Hope you have a stupendous day today.

Hugs,
    Jeanette
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SailorMars1994

AMAB Born: March 1994
Gender became on radar: 2007
Admitted to self : 2010
Came out: May 12 2014
Estrogen: October 16 2015
<3
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SailorMars1994

I am happy some things are going your way :), in regards to the passing woman I wouldnt read too much into it. Unless she was being snarky which doesnt seem the case she sounds like she really wanted to compliment you. I totally understand the feeling uncomfortable about someone basically blurting out your trans but it seemed to be from the heart. Even if she should have kept her mouth quite.

I have only had about 3 laser sessions of so in the past year but I know that feeling to on hairless patches. I would rub my fingers there and rejoice in the fact the hair is going away!

And yes it is nice to hear that your daughter is coming along it seems :) You are one admirable woman

Hugs-Ashley
AMAB Born: March 1994
Gender became on radar: 2007
Admitted to self : 2010
Came out: May 12 2014
Estrogen: October 16 2015
<3
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Michelle_P

Spent the afternoon in a one on one therapy session trolling the deep end, poking around the edges to get a little peek underneath. [emoji17]

I'm just sitting at an outdoor cafe decompressing now.  Sometimes I just want all this to be over, just want to skip ahead to where there are no more surgeries, no more therapy, and I can get to living my life.

"We cling to memories as if they define us, but they don't. What we do is what defines us." - Maj. Kusinagi

It's some of the old memories that trouble me, ghosts of the dead past struggling to reify themselves in my present. Oh, how I'd love to redact them.

Still, we are the sum of our experiences, including how we did or didn't process them. Reprocessed memories, new meaning from old events, new actions from old data. What we do is what defines us.

I'd like to be fully defined, but something tells me that won't happen within my life. That comes afterward.

I'll just have to make do with what I have. That'll do for now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Asche

Quote from: Michelle_P on March 29, 2017, 01:23:18 AM
Friday is the Transgender Day of Visibilty, a day to celebrate the good things in our lives and let the world know we are here, and are actually nice people.

But what about those of us who aren't nice people? :) :icon_razz:

Seriously, though, I've been trying to figure out how to do "Visible," beyond simply being me everywhere I go, which I already am.  I suppose I could wear a "trannies are beautiful" T-shirt, if I had one, and if it would fit with the dresses and skirts I usually wear.  And if it weren't supposed to be cold and rainy tomorrow (=Friday)
"...  I think I'm great just the way I am, and so are you." -- Jazz Jennings



CPTSD
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Michelle_P

I consider me, walking down the street to be my Visibility event.  ;)  I'm pretty darn out there.

I spent my morning for the Day of Visibility in Kaiser's Ambulatory Surgery unit.  The experience was very different from the one I had last August.  Part of that is having my name and gender updated across all of the records, of course, but a big part seemed to be staff effort there.

Even when I was stripped down and in that unisex 'gown' lying in the bed, I'm getting "Ma'am", and hearing "she" and "her" in the medical conversations around me.  There may have been one accidental "his" between a nurse and doctor, but that was it.  This was a very nice change to see.

One very interesting item regarding my own personal quirks came up.  Those who know me know about my severe anxiety triggered over hair, and know that there is a wig attached to my head every waking moment.  My hair stayed on me through pre-op, surgery, and recovery. Not even a comment or request to remove it, they just asked me to wear a bonnet just prior to rolling into the OR.  The bonnet went over the hair, of course.

The surgery itself went well, with the cancer area resected, and two lymph nodes that received drainage from the tumor region removed from my armpit.  It's a bit sore, but but nothing too bad.

I spent yesterday afternoon and early evening having the lymph drainage traced out from the tumor site to the 'sentinel' lymph nodes, the ones most likely to have trapped cancer cells shed by the tumor. That was an interesting process, with injections of technetium-99 around the tumor site, and a couple nice long meditation sessions sandwiched unde an enormous high resolution scintillation detector.  I spent about 2 1/2 hours in that camera. 

They got very clean images as to which lymph nodes are involved.  Alas, I didn't get any of the usual effects of radioisotopes.  No flying, or X-ray vision, and I'm pretty sure I can't move anything with my mind or stick to walls and ceilings.  How boring...

Now I just have to wait til the biopsy results come in next week.  If clean, then I can go back to my usual plans for my future.  If not, my transition may progress a bit faster.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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LizK

Glad to hear to hear the biopsy went well...Your day of visibility was within the confines of the hospital but your were still highly "visible"...now as for x-ray vision and being able to stick to walls that I can accept but I have to say I am sceptical about your ability to fly...seems to me you have been flying along beautifully for quite some time, there has been the odd thunderstorm along the way but you kept flying...

Great to hear your experience was a good one...they are not always  but in this case it seems like a good one...

Hope the results are what you need

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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jentay1367

Crossing my fingers for you, Michelle. Best of luck.
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Michelle_P

#354
Well, that was interesting...

I think the anesthesia used on me included a propofol infusion.  Nothing quite like brilliant turquoise urine to catch one's attention.  :P  I kept falling asleep Friday, and was still a little spacey on Saturday. The color display is back to normal.

I did manage to go for a walk, which helped clear my head a bit, and went to a movie Saturday aftenoon.  "Ghost in the Shell"  Futuristic, violent, melancholy, full of questions and questioning of what makes up our identity.  Just my cup of tea.  OK, some of the original stories did resonate with me, and the fantasy of swapping one's body for a custom replacement is appealing, of course.  It's a well done, but difficult film.  I expect most people won't get it.  (Stay for the credits if you liked the 1996 film and Kenji Kawaii's soundtrack.)

I spent this morning at Kaiser's Multi-Specialty Transitions (MST) clinic in Oakland. Mondays are a sort of Surgical Transition orientation and kickoff session, followed in the afternoon by their review board to see who gets treatment.  I met with a surgeon, a nurse, and a social worker.  They were there to provide information and sit on the review board.  Will they believe me to be worthy of GCS?  (Hint: Oh, yeah!)

The surgeon, Dr. Gurjala, is a microsurgeon doing primarily FtM top surgery and phalloplasty.  He assists on vaginoplasty procedures. We talked briefly about the procedures Kaiser is using and the available surgical teams.

The current process for GCS is a two-stage surgery.  The first stage vaginoplasty includes the orchiectomy, construction of a neoclitoris, and penile inversion vaginoplasty using methods based on Dr. Toby Meltzer's work. A second state labiaplasty is done six months later to refine the appearance.

GCS includes a 7 night stay in the hospital.  I'll need 2-3 days of 24 hour care at home afterward.

Surgeries can be done by Dr. Meltzer as a Kaiser contractor, or by Dr. Ali Selim and his team in-house.  The Kaiser team trained under Dr. Meltzer.  Wait times are somewhere around 20 months for Dr. Meltzer and 16 for the Kaiser team.  Dr. Meltzer doesn't take Medicare, and since I go on Medicare in 19 months, that option is out for me.  This means I will be referred to Dr. Selim.

The nurse did a chart review to make sure everything is up to date.   We went over options for surgeons, and hair removal in preparation for surgery.  I've got the authorization for that now, and prescriptions for EMLA ointment and ibuprofen to be taken before electrolysis.

My surgical consult for facial feminization surgery is scheduled with Dr Klineberger for mid-May.  There is well over a year wait for this as well.  (Another summer with turtlenecks and scarves...)   FFS will have an overnight stay in the hospital and I may need assistance at home for a day or two.

I will need to coordinate GCS and FFS so they are not too close together, to allow time for healing and recovery from general anesthesia.

I should hear back from the San Francisco surgery clinic in 7-10 days, and a first appointment will be scheduled in about 3 months with Dr. Selim.

The social worker went over various options for home care, preparation, and recovery, verifying that I have a social support network in place and am aware of the physical impact of all the surgery on me.  There won't be any surprises in that what he told me is pretty much what everyone here discovers in reading posts from our freshly post-op members.  Oddly, he didn't have Susan's Place down as an online resource, although he did have a few other places that surprised me.  That oversight has been rectified, and Susan's Place will be on future handouts.

I'd say that was a fairly productive morning spent in the depths of Kaiser MST.

Time to do some grocery shopping, and meet up with some friends later for dinner.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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LizK

Great news, a dedicated professional team...wow I am jealous. Sounds like everything went really well and your future for this looks pretty darn good.

Liz

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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CarlyMcx

Quote from: Michelle_P on April 03, 2017, 05:16:34 PM
My surgical consult for facial feminization surgery is scheduled with Dr Klineberger for mid-May.  There is well over a year wait for this as well.  (Another summer with turtlenecks and scarves...)   FFS will have an overnight stay in the hospital and I may need assistance at home for a day or two.


Am I correct in understanding that Dr. Klineberger is in house with Kaiser in Northern California?  Does this mean that Kaiser covers FFS?  Because I am with Kaiser in Southern California and I was told that Kaiser does not currently cover FFS.  I am currently trying to raise the funds to pay for FFS on my own.  With the waiting period I think it is a wash -- I think in a year or two I can raise the money to pay for my own FFS but I am still interested.

Carly
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JeanetteLW

Hi Michelle,

  Glad to hear the resection went well along with the lymph node work. Not even any glowing in the dark?  Let's pray they don't find any other issues to worry about. 
  It also sounds as though you are still moving quickly along with you srs plans through Kaiser. It's making Kaiser sound more enticing all the time.
  You're so busy all the time doing something you make me want to go take a nap.  I hope everything continues to go well for you.

Hugs,
   Jeanette
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Michelle_P

Quote from: CarlyMcx on April 03, 2017, 08:13:28 PM
Am I correct in understanding that Dr. Klineberger is in house with Kaiser in Northern California?  Does this mean that Kaiser covers FFS?  Because I am with Kaiser in Southern California and I was told that Kaiser does not currently cover FFS.  I am currently trying to raise the funds to pay for FFS on my own.  With the waiting period I think it is a wash -- I think in a year or two I can raise the money to pay for my own FFS but I am still interested.

Carly


Dr Klineberger is indeed a Kaiser Northern California doctor, based out of the Walnut Creek offices.

Well, a therapist found that it was medically necessary for me.  Might be related to my covering the big bathroom mirror in the apartment with a frosted plastic film except for one little spot, or my constant wearing of turtlenecks and scarves, and refusal to be seen without makeup.

With it declared medically necessary I get a referral to a surgeon who does FFS.

In discussion with the medical team, I found that there is a feeling among the medical staff that GCS by itself does not address social dysphoria, only body self-image issues.  The anxiety and depression from social rejection displayed by patients should also be addressed.

Oh, I was chatting this evening with a couple of friends who have had GCS recently with Dr Selim and Dr Thomas at Kaiser SF.  They were very happy with the results.  One friend said she doesn't need the revision surgery, as the first stage result looks really good.  That surprised me, but OK, if she likes it, she's got what she wanted and is done.

Another friend just got out of surgery a few hours ago.  Her SO is there and keeping us up to date on how she is doing.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Michelle_P

I had an interesting day, unusual activities, and some medical results.

The big medical news was my biopsy results from the melanoma surgery last Friday.  After examining the margins of the excised tissue and a total of four small lymph nodes that were linked to the cancer site, the results show that I am free of melanoma cancer.  This gave me cause to celebrate, and there's more on that below.

The unusual activity started with my checking my calendar early Tuesday, when I realized that Wednesday was completely blank, empty, devoid of any activities!

I don't know how that happened.

So, I did something I haven't done in a very long time. I rode BART (subway) into San Francisco and took the N-Judah out to Golden Gate Park, to wander about. I visited the Conservatory of Flowers, something I haven't done in 40 years. I visited the Japanese Tea Garden, a wonderful place to sit and meditate.  I even got a little lunch/snack there, genmaicha no dorayaki.  (The USAian equivalent would be a diet soda and a Twinkie.  ;) )  I walked around Stow Lake.

I felt wonderful.

Then while walking around the lake, I got two phone calls.  The first was from the Kaiser San Francisco Plastic Surgery Clinic, to schedule a phone appointment with an RN there, to collect and provide information prior to scheduling an initial consultation with a GCS surgeon.  An appointment for the appointment to get the appointment, if you will.  The second call was from the surgeon handling my melanoma surgery, to give me the good news on the biopsy results.

Well, this needed celebrating.  But how?  I'm not big on the drinking or partying, but I do love good food.  And I am in the foodie capitol of the western US...  It was a choice between Original Joe's and Scala's. I went with Joe's.   Minestrone, a nice Zinfandel, and lasagna. I'm sitting at the counter watching the kitchen chaos. 😉  Oh, and Italian doughnuts with affogato for dessert. Gosh, it's almost like I haven't eaten in a couple days for some reason...

It's a good day.  I'm happy.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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