An update on me...

[Dena]

You forgot the iron maiden and the rack. Otherwise you are almost ready for a visit from Laurie.

[Shy]

I hear Laurie doesn't like Iron Maidens as they tend to chip her nail polish She's a big softie really.

Good luck with the speech Michelle. Nothing like getting out there on the front line eh? I'm sure you'll smash it

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[Michelle_P]

I'll have to see if there's a padded version available.  Some sort of standing isolation tank, perhaps...   


The speech did go well.  One interesting thing:  When the speech was over the women from the UU church sort of flocked around me, escorting me away from the stage area.  I found out later that they were concerned someone in the crowd might attack the out trans woman!  That would have been very surprising within that crowd, but I suppose I could have triggered someone.

I'll post the speech over in the Activism area.

[Laurie]

Congratulations Michelle both on the speech and for the women friends you have that rallied around you just in case. That is awesome.

  I see you are still lollygagging doing all kinds of things except getting my room ready. Did I tell you I have been feel better recently and am beginning to think I might be able to be fit company soon and be able to do some visiting?

  Hugs,
   Laurie

[Kendra]

Michelle as I am on my GCS recovery, I want to thank you for being so detailed and open about your GCS three months ago.  You have inspired me and so many others.  Your public speeches, your writing, and just you being you.  You are helping change the world.

[Michelle_P]

Michelle as I am on my GCS recovery, I want to thank you for being so detailed and open about your GCS three months ago.  You have inspired me and so many others.  Your public speeches, your writing, and just you being you.  You are helping change the world.

Kendra, I've been watching your progress, and GCS recovery.  Congratulations, and you are doing pretty well there.  It's great to have such support.

Something tells me that you might make one heck of an activist yourself.  I definitely see the potential there!

Laurie, I still have a bit of work to be done on your room here, but that should be taken care of in the next week or so.  Depending on some other factors I may be out of town part of next week, but beyond that I'll definitely be around here much of the time, unless the Road Trip bug bites again. 

How's that for being wishy-washy?   

[Jessica]

I'll have to see if there's a padded version available.  Some sort of standing isolation tank, perhaps...   


The speech did go well.  One interesting thing:  When the speech was over the women from the UU church sort of flocked around me, escorting me away from the stage area.  I found out later that they were concerned someone in the crowd might attack the out trans woman!  That would have been very surprising within that crowd, but I suppose I could have triggered someone.

I'll post the speech over in the Activism area.

Michelle, I know I would have been overwhelmed with joy having cis-sisters give such support.

[Michelle_P]

Well, here we go again.

One of my offspring, after tracking down online accounts, copying information, and making other mischief, has decided that if I wouldn't cooperate with being gaslighted, that I should have my family ties destroyed.  My mother-in-law who was so accepting now only wants to hear from me by e-mail.  I'm trying to contact my other adult children to see if they want any further contact with me or not.

I was prepared to lose everyone in my family when I first came out, and it now looks as though that will happen.  If it is to be, it will be.  I have people who know me, who accept me, and I will be all right.  I'm tired of having to defend myself constantly against malicious attacks and family gossip, and if they choose to try, convince, and sentence me in absentia, I'm not sure I'd want to have any further contact with them. 

Meanwhile, before I had all this rubbish dumped on me late Friday, I had a wonderful week.  A friend has been traveling the Southwest US in an RV for a few weeks, and was finishing up her trip in Central California.  I met up with her and spent a few days in an RV on the coast, with her and her pets.  We had an absolutely wonderful time.  I cooked up a steak dinner one night in the tiny kitchen.  We dined out at a few restaurants, including one place famous for their pies.  Mmmm.... olalieberry pie, and a raspberry rhubarb pie!

A little beachcombing, a tour through a long-dead media mogul's country palace, some antiquing, and just hanging out happened.  Oh, I scored a set of short mugs for my Franciscanware Desert Rose set.  A step closer to completion!

We had a wonderful time.  I think I'm falling for her.   

At my church, I just finished a 1 1/2 day retreat on race relations that continues with 8 biweekly classes.  It is a very interesting program, and actually applies beyond racial issues.  Much of the experience commented on in the course is common to the transgender experience, especially the experience for transgender women, as well as other visibly different marginalized groups.  I'm hoping to make some contributions here.

I've also been named a worship associate,  so I'll be up on the chancel, making noise from the lectern during service in a few weeks.  This should be fun and interesting, my big chance to upset a couple hundred cis-people in a single shot!  No, I'll behave.  Still, this will be interesting.

[Jessica]

I'm sorry for the turn of events with your family Michelle.  It sounds mean spirited.

But I am happy you had such a good time on the coast.... Fort Bragg?

[SashaHyde]

Perspective. I too face the unknown in the coming months to year.
I'm actually excited about it. I can finally be me free! I'm born again and change is scary but it can be exciting!!!
For myself. I'm going to be seeking out trans friendly gatherings and make some new friends ahead of things so I'm not left so much in the lurch. I like myself for the most part so time alone I'm okay with. Time to get in shape, have hrt do their thing and expand my wardrobe prior to going full time.

This is YOUR time finally embrace it, get excited!!!

--Sasha

[KathyLauren]

Michelle, I am so sorry that the resistance of your family has moved up to active mischief.  I am especially sorry about the loss of your mother-in-law.  I know that she was your one supportive family member, so that loss must be tragic.

You are a strong woman, and. painful as it it, you will get through this.

I am so happy to hear about the success of your other endeavours.

[Michelle_P]

I'm building my new family one relationship at a time.  I think I'll be fine.

Meanwhile, on the Transition Treadmill...

I had an electrolysis session today, the first in three weeks.  My upper lip, right cheek, and jawline are now cleared again.  Not bad for two hours.  My electrolyst was able to use a lower current and smaller probe again, so the upper lip work went very easily other than the sneezy spots at each nostril and the hypersensitive spot, "Cupids Bow", in the middle.

I grabbed lunch at a local diner and talked with my favorite waitress for a few minutes, then headed back to my bachelorette pad.  I'm going to do my daily walk, and a little shopping.  I need a new black bag, and am looking for a very wide belt or two for use with some skirt/top combos. 

I've got a dinner event tonight with some friends, mostly identifying as trans, and we will probably wind up closing down the restaurant.  These are great fun.  (If you are in the SF East Bay and want details, PM me.  The group does regular dinners and meet-ups in east Contra Costa county).

I've got a couple technical classes to teach later this week, so prep for that will keep me busy.  I also have homework to do for a class I am taking on how to be a better lesbian date, or date better...   Yes, there are classes for this!

Who knows, I may actually try dating some day. 

[Laurie]

Hi Michelle,

  I am glad you are getting those social engagements out of the way. I must admit curiosity regarding this so call homework "practice" you say you have to do. All kind of salacious thoughts are going through my cute innocent head. I may have to investigate said behaviors.
  Oh btw did I tell you I am getting out and about again?

Hugs,
   Laurie
 

[Michelle_P]

"Social engagements"...  Yes, I suppose that's what they are.  I have a social life!  One more clue that I'm leaving the old INTJ life behind...

Last night's social engagement was a dinner event with a fun group of people, about 24 of us in total. Five of us wound up closing down the place, while we sat at table in freewheeling conversation that touched upon everything from sociology, anthropology, and economics to arson investigation!

This was a fascinating group of folks. Statistically, I would say that 18 of the folks fell somewhere under the transgender umbrella, 6 were family, 5 were well into a medical transition, and all but one had a femme presentation.  Not all of the folks I identify as transgender accept that label, by the way.  In conversation, several identified as being cross-dressers, and did not believe they were transgender.  When I asked what drives them, they said that they felt better, more comfortable when dressed, and more in touch with their feminine side.  I thought this was interesting in view of how we currently define transgender. I certainly won't push against someone's own self-identification!

Even with this wildly varying crowd, and most folks having NO voice work, or trying to shift pitch, there was no misgendering by the staff or others. It seems that the desire for a nice tip was sufficient to prevent any 'accidental' misgendering. It takes very little effort for others to take their cue and gender us correctly.

It's nice to be able to be out in public and enjoy a nice dinner with friends, without worrying about hostile or unaccepting actions by others, having to justify my existence to a casual acquaintance or a stranger, or being grilled about transgender issues when I just want to enjoy my dinner.
Actual down time with friends! Yay!

I behaved for dinner, with a nice chop salad, but then the dessert menu came out.  Oh, apple crisp, my downfall.  Um...  Their 'apple crisp' was mostly a huge wedge of vanilla ice cream atop a passable crisp in a sort of ramiken.  I did eat it, though.  I blame the glass of wine.  There's another 800 calories I didn't need.  Oh, well.   I'll know better next time.  Perhaps I'll even resist.   

Laurie, my 'homework' for that class is mostly worksheets, some meditation exercises, and some audio recordings to listen to.  Hrmph!  No, nothing on horizontal gymnastics, no new rope tricks...

Yes, I saw your recent road trip!  Yay!  I want to make a pass through Oregon and Washington to visit relatives in the Olympia area in spring, and perhaps some other folks in that region.  Just me and my little friends in the Prius, along with my sleeping roll and a bag of Purina Badger Chow...

[Laurie]

Laurie, my 'homework' for that class is mostly worksheets, some meditation exercises, and some audio recordings to listen to.  Hrmph!  No, nothing on horizontal gymnastics, no new rope tricks...

Yes, I saw your recent road trip!  Yay!  I want to make a pass through Oregon and Washington to visit relatives in the Olympia area in spring, and perhaps some other folks in that region.  Just me and my little friends in the Prius, along with my sleeping roll and a bag of Purina Badger Chow...

  Whew! That's a relief about the homework. You did have me wondering about it though. A trip through on your way to Olympia huh? That is the area my daughter is in. Actually next door in Lacey. Kendra, Bethany and Saha are a bit north of there. I have a feeling you and Jessica may be seeing me in the flesh before spring.... Just a feeling.
   Oh btw I do not consider a visit to Tessa's a road trip at all. It is just down the street as I recon distances. Kendra's is down the street and around the corner. Under 500 miles is in the neighborhood. If I can reach it in a day it is down the road a piece. Beyond the is getting into road trip distance. I am thinking of a road trip somewhere in the near future. Nothing concrete mind you as that would be too close to planning and everyone know I am allergic about plans.
 
  Hugs lady,
   Laurie

[Shy]

Great to see you getting out and about and making friends. Seriously it does my heart good to read about your adventures.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[LizK]

It's nice to be able to be out in public and enjoy a nice dinner with friends, without worrying about hostile or unaccepting actions by others, having to justify my existence to a casual acquaintance or a stranger, or being grilled about transgender issues when I just want to enjoy my dinner.
Actual down time with friends! Yay!

This sounds really great and it sounds like you had a fabulous time. Its cool when being trans is no big thing!

Hugs

Liz

[Jessica]

"Social engagements"...  Yes, I suppose that's what they are.  I have a social life!  One more clue that I'm leaving the old INTJ life behind...

Last night's social engagement was a dinner event with a fun group of people, about 24 of us in total. Five of us wound up closing down the place, while we sat at table in freewheeling conversation that touched upon everything from sociology, anthropology, and economics to arson investigation!

This was a fascinating group of folks. Statistically, I would say that 18 of the folks fell somewhere under the transgender umbrella, 6 were family, 5 were well into a medical transition, and all but one had a femme presentation.  Not all of the folks I identify as transgender accept that label, by the way.  In conversation, several identified as being cross-dressers, and did not believe they were transgender.  When I asked what drives them, they said that they felt better, more comfortable when dressed, and more in touch with their feminine side.  I thought this was interesting in view of how we currently define transgender. I certainly won't push against someone's own self-identification!

Even with this wildly varying crowd, and most folks having NO voice work, or trying to shift pitch, there was no misgendering by the staff or others. It seems that the desire for a nice tip was sufficient to prevent any 'accidental' misgendering. It takes very little effort for others to take their cue and gender us correctly.

It's nice to be able to be out in public and enjoy a nice dinner with friends, without worrying about hostile or unaccepting actions by others, having to justify my existence to a casual acquaintance or a stranger, or being grilled about transgender issues when I just want to enjoy my dinner.
Actual down time with friends! Yay!

I behaved for dinner, with a nice chop salad, but then the dessert menu came out.  Oh, apple crisp, my downfall.  Um...  Their 'apple crisp' was mostly a huge wedge of vanilla ice cream atop a passable crisp in a sort of ramiken.  I did eat it, though.  I blame the glass of wine.

Michelle, I need to consider the invite to these social engagements. The only hitch is I'm my wife's personal chef.  She told her mom (a great cook) when she was trying to teach her, "I don't need to learn how, I'll marry someone that can".
I'm not going to use that as an excuse though!

[Michelle_P]

There are regular get-together of this group on the first and third Monday of each month, dinner at a little sushi/udon joint with something for everyone, and some time at a local pub socializing.  Months with a fifth Monday have these dinners.

It's ok to come as you are. We have folks from all over the SF Bay Area coming. PM me for details.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jessica]

Thanks Michelle!  I'll check my rollodex to see if I can work it into the schedule of a retired woman.