I did my presentation on gender to that Open Women's Group. It went well overall.
There were technical glitches, as in they put the presentation in the one room they had with no presentation equipment. They did bring in a portable amplifier and microphone. I had packed along a flat screen display at least. We needed to move a small table to the front of the room to hold the display and my MacBook Air. And that's when it happened...
One of the women told the others, "I'll get this side and...", gesturing to me, "He'll get that end."
Hey! Excuse me. Person standing here with makeup, tan skirt and sleeveless top, hose and heels, conservative makeup is so NOT a "He."
I looked at her. "He? Really?" I lifted my skirt, pantyhose and ancient cameltoe in view. "Do you see something I don't?" She started blushing and stammering. Another woman stepped up to help move the table.
That just ticked me off. Here's a group that claims to be "woke', that likes to call themselves open and accepting. I clearly look female, BUT, they know I am trans. And I know a few other things...
I was annoyed to the point that I wrote a speech. I don't know if it will ever be delivered.
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Microaggressions: The everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership.
How can people who have never known or seen me as anything other than myself, Michelle, manage to misgender me as soon as they learn that I am trans?
If folks would please be so good as to stop it, I would very much appreciate it.
In the past, I have tried to be polite, excusing this behavior. I now realize that I have been a co-enabler in my own marginalization.
I am afraid that if folks persist with this behavior, I shall become quite fatigued with repeatedly, loudly, persistently, publicly refuting YOU, without regard as to whether or not you accidentally or intentionally insulted, snubbed, or otherwise delivered that hostile message to me.
After all, intent is not impact...
What's that? You object to my objecting to being marginalized, degraded, insulted by you? Oh, I should "just learn to take it?" I should just calmly accept that I am Other, the freak you think I am, and learn my proper place?
I don't think so.
You see, I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person, even myself and other transgender persons. I believe that the acceptance of one another, even our gender identity, is important. I believe in justice, equity, and compassion in human relations.
Even the courts in this state see me as female. My drivers license says I am female. My birth certificate, my passport, my medical insurance card say I am female.
I have worked hard, my whole life, to try and please others, make them comfortable with me, at great cost to myself. All I ask for in these late years is to spend a little time just being myself, and just the smallest bit of compassion from you.
Yet, you won't even spare that crumb from your table. You deny my identity, rationalize that denial, and persist.
I object. I insist on that justice, that equity. I refuse to cooperate in my own marginalization. I refuse to accept your dehumanizing behavior. I deny, loudly and persistently, your snubs and insults, however unintentional.
If I don't stand against this now, who will be your next unintentional target? Who will you subject to this next?
