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An update on me...

Started by Michelle_P, October 15, 2016, 09:19:13 PM

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Rayna

Quote from: Michelle_P on August 27, 2018, 10:55:13 AM
Thanks, everyone!

I just put my boarder, Robyn, on her flight to where she is having GCS.  One nervous gal, but she will be OK. Today I do last minute shopping and prep.

6 AM tomorrow i check in at Kaiser for my FFS surgery. Wow.   I can't believe it is time already. Finally!

@Laurie is here to aid me in recovery, thank goodness.  I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm nervous, worried, and excited.  What an emotional mess!

I so appreciate your good wishes, and will try to keep this up to date. I hope to see everyone on Road Trip 4.0 or on the Road Trip World Tour.  We have passports...
Wow, two of you will be in recovery! Will Laurie be hopping around to keep both your heads above water? Well, it'll be good for her...

Best of luck Michelle. Don't look in any mirrors for awhile. I'm so glad you'll have Laurie to help.
If so, then why not?
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Michelle_P

Here's a bit of a summary from posts scattered elsewhere, along with some of my musings while spending far too much time inside my head.

My Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) was on August 28, 2018 at Kaiser's Richmond Surgery Center.  They have a Head and Neck specialty facility there. 

My surgery team was Drs. Kleinberger and Shih, with support staff from Richmond and Oakland. The surgery as planned and approved was nine hours of work, with the surgeons taking turns on the bone work and soft tissue changes.

It's an amazing skill, understanding how all these tissues will interact and heal together.  Unlike cosmetic surgery, much of what was altered in me was in the bone of the skull and mandible, to reverse some of the changes that testosterone had induced in those structures.  The soft tissue was adjusted slightly to where it should be if the removed bone had never been there.  This is a remarkably complex surgery, with two surgeons working on me over a 9 hour period, but it was deemed medically necessary for me by a board at Kaiser.

I am very grateful to the medical team and evaluation board for providing this astounding level of service and treatment for me.

I'm continuing to heal, with the bruising and worst of the swelling starting to fade.

I spent the first few days rather spaced out, between the effects of general anesthesia and the acetaminophen/hydrocodone ("Norco") tablets.  By the 4th day after surgery I was able to control most pain and discomfort with just acetaminophen tablets (2 small ones, every 6 hours), and tweaking the compressive wraps to avoid compressing the swollen areas too much.

There has been some bleeding the three days after surgery, not unexpected, but troubling. It appeared to be worse Friday morning, so we called the Head and Neck Surgery unit. One of the doctors called us back and mentioned some concern over a hematoma, also a concern in the surgeons notes, and asked us to have this evaluated at the Walnut Creek ER Department.

We spent a few hours in the ER, getting unbandaged, cleaned, inspected, and rebandaged.  Wouldn't you know it?  The bleeding stopped when I was unwrapped.  The hair is a mess, naturally, but there is no hematoma, and all will be well.  We will give the head incisions several days to knit before we try cleaning the matted hair of blood.

I'm continuing to regain mobility.  I can't talk well with the compression bandages and the sutures in my mouth from the jaw surgery.  I can handle soft foods, so Laurie was able to make me a nicer dinner tonight.

I had butternut squash soup, homemade chicken broth, and garlic mashed potatoes with broccoli.  Dessert was Tillamook Mudslide chocolate ice cream.  My weight is down but i expect this will reverse the trend with my regaining my appetite!

I have a follow up visit in one week.  Meanwhile, I expect to just continue healing here.

Saturday morning I found my appetite was back, if not my ability to chew.  I finished off Laurie's yogurt and berries, a coffee, one of those nutritional drinks, and Laurie's Scrambled Eggs, with ham, cheese, bell peppers, and other goodies.  Delicious! 

Breakfast was done in time for me to do other little medical tasks that are part of my lifetime routine now, and I started a load of laundry, with ...  extra Oxi-Clean...  If it's good enough for crime scenes it is good enough for my towels and wardrobe. 

Our friend Jessica dropped by for lunch, thoughtfully bringing Jamba Juice drinks for all of us.  I let mine get a little melty and then slurped down the purée of berries and fruit. Yum.  Probably a lot of sugar but my body seems to want some of that right now.

We chatted about yard projects, life, and another friend's coming out story, which had me in tears again.  I leak so easily these days, it seems.  There were some familiar notes in her story, as individual to her as it was, and the emotional notes and associations struck home again. 

So many of us still live our lives in hiding, out of fear of loss, fear of personal safety, fear of job and family loss and rejection.  It is a terrible thing that we do to ourselves, out of not wanting to make others slightly uncomfortable with our existence, and fearing the violence of retaliation against our existence. 

In reading about 12 year old Maddie in Oklahoma, I find it even more terrible what others would do to us, or to small children, out of their own fear of being slightly uncomfortable.  It is sad to realize that my society, this so-called 'land of the free', has a side of it's own culture that teaches others to fear those slightly different from an artificial idealized normal, and inculcates hatred toward others for daring to not match this idealized normal.

There are microaggressions built into everyday cultural interactions.  Both myself and a friend were misgendered this week while in the hospital specifically for surgeries related to our transitions, in spite of our having all our medical records up to date with names and gender identification.  Oh, it's easily corrected with each individual we encounter, yet still, each misgendering is a hammer blow driving home that we have once again failed to be recognized as who we are, but are instead being put back in that cultural box people are more comfortable confining us within.

Meanwhile, we are negotiating daily life as Laurie and the Mummy Girl.  Perhaps tomorrow I'll try shambling to the grocery store and grunting incomprehensibly at the clerk.  My Middle Egyptian is poor, but I do not think it will matter all that much. 

At my follow up on September 7, I expect to have the staples and non-dissolving stitches removed on schedule.  Healing is progressing about as expected.


Me, day 4 post-op.  The changes in bruising about the eyes and swelling are visible.


Me, day 2 post-op.  Bruising and swelling were at about the worst.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Cindy

Thanks for the update Hon.

It is amazing how the body recovers from such damage and you will be recovered in no time.

Love and best wishes to you both.

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Rayna

Hi Michelle, you are actually looking quite good (well, yes, for day 4, but still...quite good). You are bouncing back really well. Sounds like Laurie is at her creative best finding ways to feed you...garlic mashed potatoes with broccoli -- yum! I gotta look for Tillamook Mudslide chocolate ice cream. Not that I thought you had much need for FFS when I met you, but you are going to look great! Take care and think about having a great story to explain mummy girl (if you want).
If so, then why not?
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JudiBlueEyes

Michelle we can see that wonderful smile of yours through the bruises and bandages.  I can see you are happy!  Some things we cannot hide.   

You are so blessed to have Laurie there to care for you.  I hope your healing continues uneventually.  Don't go scaring people at the grocer! 

Judi
But now old friends they're acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.
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Jessica

I can confirm that Michelle is in good hands with the Wandering Waif.  Though Michelle turned down her offer of delicious pickle juice.
After sharing a lunch of Jamba Juice with Laurie and Michelle, it is clear she is happy and will be the beautiful woman that medical magic has created.
I can see it through the swelling and bruising, she is there!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Michelle_P

I'm up early after a few hours of sleep. The odd little discomforts kept me awake.  It is a quiet, early Sunday morning.   I've opoened the balcony doors, and can see the sky just starting to lighten.

Laurie is asleep in the other room.

I can sit here quietly and sip my tea, letting idle thoughts tumble through my mind. Today, this is a good thing.

Today, I am happy.

I do not know what tomorrow may bring, but there is no urgency to get there. For today, I am in a safe place, a good place, a calm place where I love and am loved. I will just savor this moment and this place.

Tomorrow can take care of itself.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Jessica

Well, I woke early thinking of you, and today the fates bring you a new recliner chair and footstool 🌸🌸🌸

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Donica

Dear Michelle! I'm so glad to see you are now at home recovering. Wow! Such wonderful and powerful words of wisdom. I know it doesn't always seem as though but I believe things in this country are getting better. As you are demonstrating to all of us here, we will be strong and continue to fight for our rights and freedoms. Giving in to such ignorance is just not acceptable. Don't let those that have miss gendered you in the hospital bother you. I'm sure they are not half as intelligent as you are.

Ok, enough of all that talk. It's back to your recovery. I see that smile through those compression wraps too. I understand the bruising is to be expected. I'm glad Laurie is taking such good care of you. She is truly an angel, as are you Michelle. I hope you will update us with more pictures of your recovery. Your pictures and updates are giving me a glimpse of what to expect in my near future.

Thanks so mush for sharing you FFS journey with us.

Lots of hugs you two!
Donica.
Rebirth 06/09/2017. HRT 08/22/2017. RLE 07/14/2018. Name and Gender change 10/19/2018. FFS 09/06/2019. GCS 05/26/2021.
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Jessica

Yesterday I visited Michelle and Laurie the first time after Michelle's FFS. 
This morning we were both awoke early and I came by to visit with a gift (Laurie's comfort). 
Looking into Michelle's eyes, and looking past the bandages, I saw Michelle as a beautiful woman.
It is quite emotional for me to see her successes. 

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Jessica

Quote from: Jessica on September 02, 2018, 10:27:40 AM
Yesterday I visited Michelle and Laurie the first time after Michelle's FFS. 
This morning we were both awoke early and I came by to visit with a gift (Laurie's comfort). 
Looking into Michelle's eyes, and looking past the bandages, I saw Michelle as a beautiful woman.
It is quite emotional for me to see her successes.
Quote


I must implore upon anyone reading this, that to not wait patiently (irregardless of any other reason) for a dear friend who is peacefully snoring, is bad form. 
Fridge tops will certainly give you that!  🙇‍♀️

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Rayna

Quote from: Jessica on September 02, 2018, 11:20:43 AM
I must implore upon anyone reading this, that to not wait patiently (irregardless of any other reason) for a dear friend who is peacefully snoring, is bad form. 
Fridge tops will certainly give you that!  🙇‍♀️
Um, is this related to the posts about bears in Danielle's HUNTED thread?  ;D ;D >:-)
If so, then why not?
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Jessica

Quote from: RandyL on September 02, 2018, 12:00:39 PM
Um, is this related to the posts about bears in Danielle's HUNTED thread?  ;D ;D >:-)

This is in regards to my inexcusable action of not planning my day to afford all that is necessary!
Danielle has those bears trained to dance in her thread. 🐻🐻🐻

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Alaskan Danielle @RandyL @Laurie @Michelle_P

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Laurie

Someone is feeling better...

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Donica

Quote from: Laurie on September 02, 2018, 01:27:49 PM
Someone is feeling better...

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk



Yay!!! I'll take two eggs, 2 slices of bacon and 2 pieces of toast please!

Hugs ladies,
Donica.
Rebirth 06/09/2017. HRT 08/22/2017. RLE 07/14/2018. Name and Gender change 10/19/2018. FFS 09/06/2019. GCS 05/26/2021.
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Laurie

Dinner Ala Laurie last night.  Broccoli steamed in butter and water with a pepperjack and chorizo cheese sauce, smashed taters with chorizo and sauteed minced onion and bell peppers with the cheese sauce on top. And home chopped chicken and chorizo patties seasoned with sauteed bell peppers and onion.
  Michelle said she needed to savor it because she knows it is a one of a kind meal as are all of my home cooked meals. I don't use a recipe when I cook usually so they never come out the same. Anyway she said it tasted good.

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

Laurie

My care team has her under their watchful eyes making sure she does what she is supposed to...



Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



  •  

Michelle_P

Quote from: Jessica on September 02, 2018, 06:53:01 AM
Well, I woke early thinking of you, and today the fates bring you a new recliner chair and footstool 🌸🌸🌸

Susan's Place seems to have lots of off-label usage.  Here I have found help and information, of course, but I have also found friends, travel and dinner companions, nice folks to visit with, my love, and now home furnishings! 

What a remarkable community we have all experienced!
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Allison S

Hi Michelle, I hope you have a smooth recovery. I'm sure we're all excited to see the results and most of all that you're happy and fulfilled in this journey :)
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LizK

Nice to see you are well and that Laurie is looking after you. I hope the recovery continues to go well and will look forward to see your new smiling face.

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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