An update on me...

[Michelle_P]

@Alaskan Danielle

I am ridiculously open both here and on Facebook in the Trans groups, and with my friends.  It is all part of my educational effort.  No two of us choose the same path to address what we are driven to do by our nature, but many individual points on my path are things others might do, and I want to present an honest and complete picture of them.

I may be driven to do this from decades of hiding myself and trying to pass as male, leading to a late life outbreak of openness in partial compensation.  I hope it is useful to everyone.

I showed up at my regular teeth cleaning event as myself after I went full time, and went in about a half hour early to update the paperwork. The office took it in stride, and just took a new patient photo to put on my records.   No muss or fuss from anyone there, which was interesting in itself.

They'll want details on the surgery as it definitely affects my jaw and mouth!  My gum line sutures will give it away if nothing else does.  Oh, and I'm due for x-rays...

"Six inches forward, and five inches back!"  Oh No! 

Depending upon your doctors, could they do both surgeries in February?

I'd like that, but it isn't likely.  They'd be jumping me way ahead on the GCS queue to do that.

Honestly, I don't know if the revisions on the GCS will ever happen, or if the trach shave and lower facelift will, for that matter.  I've asked for it, and it is authorized for their surgeons only, but the surgeons have a huge backlog of folks wanting and needing the basics that I have already had.

If other things fall into place, I may explore doing these elsewhere and trying to pay for the whole thing.

[Jessica]

I am ridiculously open both here and on Facebook in the Trans groups, and with my friends.  It is all part of my educational effort.  No two of us choose the same path to address what we are driven to do by our nature, but many individual points on my path are things others might do, and I want to present an honest and complete picture of them.

I may be driven to do this from decades of hiding myself and trying to pass as male, leading to a late life outbreak of openness in partial compensation.  I hope it is useful to everyone.

Michelle, your openness and willingness to embrace life as a woman has been one of the factors in how I feel I would need to be.  The trips out and about we have taken are very relaxed, even when there are obstacles.  Your attitude gives me direction on how to just be who you are.
Your confidence instills confidence in myself.
My trip to the top of Mission Peak showed that I was unabashed in how I appeared. 
I thank you for your new life as a guide for me.
With confidence comes resolve.
I'm close to resolution.

Hugs and smiles from another California girl

[JudiBlueEyes]

Michelle,
"If other things fall into place, I may explore doing these elsewhere and trying to pay for the whole thing."

I found the trachea shave to not be terribly expensive so you might look into that sooner than later.

I've been seeing the same dentist for 35 years, yet with different hygienists.  The staff took my new presentation in stride as well.  Onward!
Judi

[Michelle_P]

Michelle,
"If other things fall into place, I may explore doing these elsewhere and trying to pay for the whole thing."

I found the trachea shave to not be terribly expensive so you might look into that sooner than later.

I've been seeing the same dentist for 35 years, yet with different hygienists.  The staff took my new presentation in stride as well.  Onward!
Judi

I was thinking about that.  My intent was to wait for the FFS soft tissue changes to settle down, and then do a lower facelift with the trach shave.  The lower lift incisions would be used to do the trach shave, and I would avoid a possible faint scar on the neck.

The BA that I wanted to get could be done with either the GCS revision or the lower facelift, but in Kaiser NorCal, the surgery team that does face and neck work is different than the one that does BA, even using different hospitals!   It is possible that I could combine the BA and GCS revision as the same team does both, but the wait would be very long. 

Also, there seems to be a strong preference with surgeons to not want to do revisions on someone else's work, so the GCS revision might best be done by the Kaiser NorCal team.

I'm inclined to get on the waitlist with Kaiser NorCal for the GCS revision, and perhaps look elsewhere for combining BA, trach shave, and the lower facelift. 

[Donica]

Wow! It really is a long road. Main surgeries, then revisions. Onward we go! I'm glad they took care of that spot on your hand. I had a minor Basal cell type on my face years ago. Nothing since. Thanks for sharing your transitioning with us Michelle. You are an inspiration for all of us. You are a beautiful women.

Hugs,
Donica.

[Michelle_P]

I suppose I am healing up and feeling better.  I'm baking cookies today.

75 of my special chocolate chip cookies, and another 32 of the dairy & gluten free ones for folks who need that...




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[Northern Star Girl]

I suppose I am healing up and feeling better.  I'm baking cookies today.

75 of my special chocolate chip cookies, and another 32 of the dairy & gluten free ones for folks who need that...



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@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
Oh yeah, for me baking and cooking is great therapy...  and now that you are getting healed up nicely and feeling better.... activities like that can be a nice change from your previous recovery experience.

My oh my.... your "special" chocolate chip cookies look terrific...  I am certain that they taste as good as they appear.   Yum Yum!!!!
Thanks for making my mouth water!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

[Donica]

Oh my! 2 chocolate chip cookies please! Didn't I mention I'm trying to loose weight? Oh heck! 4 please!

[LizK]

I suppose I am healing up and feeling better.  I'm baking cookies today.

75 of my special chocolate chip cookies, and another 32 of the dairy & gluten free ones for folks who need that...




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You are baking again...that is a very good sign...you must be well and truly on the mend...good to see.   


Take care

Liz

[Michelle_P]

Thanks!  This batch of cookies was devoured by the usual suspects at my church today during a big brainstorming session for the next year.

I noticed again some differences in behavior of other folks around me both while walking around and in the meeting, that tell me I likely have passing privilege now.  I was not talked over nearly as much in discussions, and one of our lesbians was flirting with me.

While walking with my usual smile pasted on my face, I was greeted with a big smile by many other women on the street, some of them also saying "Hi!", "Hello", etc.  That's new.

The outfit might have helped.


Privilege is a funny thing.  I think I may have leveled up to cisgender woman levels.

[Faith]

@Michelle no more cookies? I was hoping that you delivered. I'd like to try the gluten free ones (yes, I'm one of those intolerant types).

Btw, I know I don't speak up much. I did follow your whole progress.

Faith

Also, I can't imagine anyone talking over and around you.

[Michelle_P]

@Michelle no more cookies? I was hoping that you delivered. I'd like to try the gluten free ones (yes, I'm one of those intolerant types).

Chocolate Chip Cookies - Vegan/Dairy Free/Gluten Free

2 1/2 cups blanched almond flour
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup grapeseed oil
1/2 cup agave nectar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips (any brand that certifies vegan)

   Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

   Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl.
   Stir together the grapeseed oil, agave nectar, and vanilla extract in a smaller bowl.
   Mix the liquid into the combined dry ingredients.
   Form the dough into 1" balls, and press onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

   Bake at 350 degrees F for 8-11 minutes.  The cookies will brown very quickly toward the end, so keep a very close eye on them.

Btw, I know I don't speak up much. I did follow your whole progress.

Faith

Also, I can't imagine anyone talking over and around you.

That's what this thread is for; something to read that shows how life can change us and or experience of the world.

As far as being talked over is concerned, well, there is a pecking order of privilege in the world that is invisible to most folks, as invisible as water is to a fish.  We swim in it, and it governs many of our daily interactions.  I have found in meetings there is a pecking order, something like this particularly with older folks like our congregation:

• Cisgender Men, straight
• Cisgender Men, gay
• Cisgender Women, straight
• Cisgender Women, lesbian
• Androgynous Men
• Transgender Women

Being talked over is quite common.  Standing up and talking very loudly while others remain seated often helps.  That is, breaking social norms in an annoying and attention focusing way!   

[Jessica]

@Michelle_P

Thanks!  This batch of cookies was devoured by the usual suspects at my church today during a big brainstorming session for the next year.

I noticed again some differences in behavior of other folks around me both while walking around and in the meeting, that tell me I likely have passing privilege now.  I was not talked over nearly as much in discussions, and one of our lesbians was flirting with me.

While walking with my usual smile pasted on my face, I was greeted with a big smile by many other women on the street, some of them also saying "Hi!", "Hello", etc.  That's new.

The outfit might have helped.


Privilege is a funny thing.  I think I may have leveled up to cisgender woman levels.

Congratulations Michelle, I'm so happy for you!  It was all worth it!
Now go find that guy in the wheelchair and bring him a coffee and one of those cookies.
Love makes the world go round, and that might make him dizzy.

Hugs and smiles from another California girl

[Faith]

recipe

Thanks !!! Time for some cookies, not tonight. Otherwise I'd be tossing them.

... pecking order ...

• Cisgender Men, straight
• Cisgender Men, gay
• Cisgender Women, straight
• Cisgender Women, lesbian
• Androgynous Men
• Transgender Women
• me

I added one

seriously, that order looks fairly accurate for the world. I think it's time to peck people off.

[Laurie]

 My girl friend is running all over now that I came home, showing off her wares. And looking GOOD while she does it too. I think she is trying to see if I am jealous.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Donica]

Thanks!  This batch of cookies was devoured by the usual suspects at my church today during a big brainstorming session for the next year.

I noticed again some differences in behavior of other folks around me both while walking around and in the meeting, that tell me I likely have passing privilege now.  I was not talked over nearly as much in discussions, and one of our lesbians was flirting with me.

While walking with my usual smile pasted on my face, I was greeted with a big smile by many other women on the street, some of them also saying "Hi!", "Hello", etc.  That's new.

The outfit might have helped.


Privilege is a funny thing.  I think I may have leveled up to cisgender woman levels.

Oh yes Michelle! That's because you are looking very cis these days. Congratulation Girl!!!

BTW! Is that a whip standing in the corner behind you?

Hugs Michelle!
Donica.

[Michelle_P]

Electrolysis day.  I haven't seen Jodie professionally since late July, two months without electrolysis.  I haven't shaved since April, so the 200 odd hours of zappage have definitely had an effect.   Honestly, I know cisgender women my age who haveharier faces than I've been walking around with.

In one hour Jodie cleared the upper lip and the entire right side of the face, getting all the obviously terminal hairs.  It certainly feels much smoother!

There is probably a bit over an hour of work left, so I booked 2 hours worth in two weeks.  I can always use leftover time on my eyebrows.  It will likely be my last professional visit with Jodie, as she is a little older than I, and is retiring soon. 

I think I will be transitioning my electrolysis treatments to a 'maintenance' phase, occasionally scheduling an hour as needed with a local electrolyst, but no more regular weekly appointments.  I never thiought I'd reach this point, but here I am after 27 months.

[LizK]

Electrolysis day.  I haven't seen Jodie professionally since late July, two months without electrolysis.  I haven't shaved since April, so the 200 odd hours of zappage have definitely had an effect.   Honestly, I know cisgender women my age who haveharier faces than I've been walking around with.

In one hour Jodie cleared the upper lip and the entire right side of the face, getting all the obviously terminal hairs.  It certainly feels much smoother!

There is probably a bit over an hour of work left, so I booked 2 hours worth in two weeks.  I can always use leftover time on my eyebrows.  It will likely be my last professional visit with Jodie, as she is a little older than I, and is retiring soon. 

I think I will be transitioning my electrolysis treatments to a 'maintenance' phase, occasionally scheduling an hour as needed with a local electrolyst, but no more regular weekly appointments.  I never thiought I'd reach this point, but here I am after 27 months.

That is an amazing accomplishment Michelle and you have every reason to be proud of this. Electrolysis has to be one of the most difficult physical part of transition for many and I have watched you stoically go about this task week after week most times for multiple hours. I too was having electrolysis and there were many times I would think of you and how you would deal with the pain and discomfort issues to help me hang in there. It must feel really great to know that you really are finally down to those maintenance appointments.


I have not had any facial electrolysis done for a number of months but I have another appointment to have another assessment. There are a number of terminal hairs but then there are also a number of vellus and I want to know how much of the stuff is terminal and needs removing. I cannot afford to use the last person I had and am expecting to be told I need  another 10 hours to finally finish off. I thought I was done, but what I really was, .... was fed up with Electrolysis!! LOL Oh well we live and we learn. 


Congratulations on finally getting there and thanks for inspiring me personally


Liz

[Northern Star Girl]

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
I am giving you big HUGS and bigger HUGS

I felt badly for you after reading about your disappointing and frustrating mis-gendering at your Dentist's office as you described in you post on the "Unhappy" thread.
         
Thinking of you,   [emoji173]    [emoji173]    [emoji173]
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

Thank you, @Alaskan Danielle

Getting repeatedly misgendered, even if somehow innocently, at this stage of transition is both a real kick in the teeth, and a nasty reality check.

Between "trans and womyns" events that turn out to be trans men only, continued misgendering by "welcoming and accepting" church members, and all the other daily microaggressions, I'm not sure if I will ever pass.

I may have been too open and trusting of others. Woodworking, the old relocate and disappear into the woodwork gag, is looking more and more appealing every day.


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