An update on me...

[JudiBlueEyes]

At times being open and trusting is a double edged sword.  People it seems hone in on what they've been initially told (you're TG) so that may be part of it even though you clearly are feminine in all facets.  Maybe moving to a new neighborhood or just start frequenting new shops and stores in different direction from your place.   That's what I've done.  Traffic has gotten worse where I shopped so I've headed in the opposite direction and have found everything I need, and its only a few further minutes away.

Great news on the electro.  I'm really close to where you are.  Can't wait! 
Judi

[Laurie]

Thank you, @Alaskan Danielle

Getting repeatedly misgendered, even if somehow innocently, at this stage of transition is both a real kick in the teeth, and a nasty reality check.

Between "trans and womyns" events that turn out to be trans men only, continued misgendering by "welcoming and accepting" church members, and all the other daily microaggressions, I'm not sure if I will ever pass.

I may have been too open and trusting of others. Woodworking, the old relocate and disappear into the woodwork gag, is looking more and more appealing every day.


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  My dear girlfriend. I for one know who and what your are. I can honestly say I love you for who you are and in my eyes there is no doubt you are a woman, female, girlfriend, and my love. I know how these intended or even unintended misgenderings bother you. I wish I could erase that pain for you. Alas I cannot. Apart all I can try to do is console you with words. Those are hardly adequate. But I try. It is all I can do.

Hugs & Love
  Laurie

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you, @Alaskan Danielle

Getting repeatedly misgendered, even if somehow innocently, at this stage of transition is both a real kick in the teeth, and a nasty reality check.

Between "trans and womyns" events that turn out to be trans men only, continued misgendering by "welcoming and accepting" church members, and all the other daily microaggressions, I'm not sure if I will ever pass.

I may have been too open and trusting of others. Woodworking, the old relocate and disappear into the woodwork gag, is looking more and more appealing every day.


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@Michelle_P
My dear Michelle:   Awwweee, I am really sorry ..... 

...from past personal experience I can definitively feel your pain.
The old saying applies here, "If you fall off of your horse, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse" and continue on in your journey.  ....   each time this happens it can be a learning experience and eventually the mis-gendering will become less and less until you achieve success.   The way that I have reacted to misgendering is to certainly correct the mistake, ignore any rude remarks and obvious staring, hold my head high, big smile on my face and walk away confidently.   

You did what you had to do at the your Dentist's office, I am certain now that their records will be crystal clean and won't allow this to happen again, but as you stated, you will be looking for a more "accepting" Dentist office to spend your money on.   It will be interesting to see if the offending office sends you an apology letter or at least a phone call....  please keep us posted
... and please be strong, determined and unwavering in your journey as I know that you will be.

Hugs and hugs and more hugs,  [emoji173]
Danielle

[steph2.0]

Thank you, @Alaskan Danielle

Getting repeatedly misgendered, even if somehow innocently, at this stage of transition is both a real kick in the teeth, and a nasty reality check.

Between "trans and womyns" events that turn out to be trans men only, continued misgendering by "welcoming and accepting" church members, and all the other daily microaggressions, I'm not sure if I will ever pass.

I may have been too open and trusting of others. Woodworking, the old relocate and disappear into the woodwork gag, is looking more and more appealing every day.


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Oh, Michelle, I feel your pain so acutely. My BFF @SassyCassie and I have talked about this exact subject more than once. We call it "pulling a Danielle." Just pull up stakes and move somewhere where nobody knows you, and start all over. Maybe somewhere where there is a tolerant environment for alternative lifestyles. But in the end, it's almost unworkable, at least for the foreseeable future, for both of us.

It sure is attractive sometimes, though.

Hang in there, hon. Breathe in, breathe out, move on. This too shall pass.

Stephanie

[LizK]

Thank you, @Alaskan Danielle

Getting repeatedly misgendered, even if somehow innocently, at this stage of transition is both a real kick in the teeth, and a nasty reality check.

Between "trans and womyns" events that turn out to be trans men only, continued misgendering by "welcoming and accepting" church members, and all the other daily microaggressions, I'm not sure if I will ever pass.

I may have been too open and trusting of others. Woodworking, the old relocate and disappear into the woodwork gag, is looking more and more appealing every day.


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I missed that post you are referring to but it is pretty sickening. My anger of misgendering has always been about the same thing, it takes nothing to show even some basic decency and use correct pronouns. It is as you describe, a microaggression and we seem to spend a fair amount of time on the receiving  end of them.

Take care

Liz

[Kendra]

In the medical field I think it's inexcusable to misgender someone once their correct pronouns/gender is listed in patient records.  At that point it's not just a courtesy - those records help with important decisions.  If a dental assistant has ignored basic information in your records (or is just ignorant) I'd be concerned about safety of care and would never return.

Dental offices in larger cities compete for good patients. 

[Michelle_P]

In the medical field I think it's inexcusable to misgender someone once their correct pronouns/gender is listed in patient records.  At that point it's not just a courtesy - those records help with important decisions.  If a dental assistant has ignored basic information in your records (or is just ignorant) I'd be concerned about safety of care and would never return.

Dental offices in larger cities compete for good patients.

I absolutely agree with this, and consider the sloppiness or inattention to be a red flag.  I'm moving onto a Medicare Advantage plan and will be looking for a new 'in network' dentist anyway.  This event thoroughly convinced me it is time to change dentists.

[Michelle_P]

I just had my Mammary Feminization consult with a Kaiser NorCal surgeon.

They  will do saline or liquid silicone implants under muscle, with a small incision in the estimated breast fold.

Cohesive implants are associated with an easily treated cancer, at a risk of roughly 1 :: 100,000 possibly related to the textured surface, so they are not doing them at this time.

Silicone has a better feel than saline. Rupture risk is about 1% per year  and leaked fluid will be confined to the tissue capsule formed, requiring nonemergency surgical replacement.

Under muscle placement. has less risk of capsular contracture.

Sizing:
14 cm width, both sides
Exact fit to be determined in the OR

Date: earliest would be December. One year waitlist, but I can take earlier openings on a few days notice.

If I go with this it would be covered by my insurance. That is a big plus. The incision and the leakage/rupture risks are minuses. I'll think about it...

Meanwhile I'm celebrating the possibility with lunch at a French bistro. Onion soup and quiche Lorraine.


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[Katie Jade]

OMG - love a proper (French) Onion soup - please take a pic as you just reminded me of something I need to perfect in cooking again - pretty please

Luv n Hugz

Katie

[Laurie]

 Great news Michelle! You know my feelings on the matter. I am for what ever makes you happy. The decision is and always will be yours to make.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

[Michelle_P]

OMG - love a proper (French) Onion soup - please take a pic as you just reminded me of something I need to perfect in cooking again - pretty please [emoji4]

Luv n Hugz

Katie

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Oops. I didn't photograph the soup. It's the usual rich broth with caramelized onion. Thin baguette slices are toasted and floated on the broth, and the top is covered in Gruyere and broiled under a salamander or oven broiler element until melted.  It is usually made and served in croc bowls.

I did get the quiche.


I finished the day with a little shoe shopping and picked up some needed tops.


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[Donica]

Oh I love the shoes Michelle. Great news about you BA. I'm hoping I won't need BA but it is looking that way. I was curious? I have a Kaiser Senior Advantage plan. I have herd that they would make the incision in the armpits? I'm guessing that must be the saline version? I haven't look into BA yet so I'm sure I'm just misinformed?

Donica.

[Michelle_P]

Oh I love the shoes Michelle. Great news about you BA. I'm hoping I won't need BA but it is looking that way. I was curious? I have a Kaiser Senior Advantage plan. I have herd that they would make the incision in the armpits? I'm guessing that must be the saline version? I haven't look into BA yet so I'm sure I'm just misinformed?

Donica.

The location of the incision depends on the type of implant, and the placement; over the muscle, within the muscle, or below the muscle.

In my particular case, Dr Gurjala suggested placement below the muscle, against the connective tissue wall on the rib cage, of a 14 cm implant. The incision is about 4 cm, placed at the estimated lower fold of the augmented breast.  I would go with silicone.  At that location it will be encapsulated quickly by the body, but with low risk of capsular contraction, so a possible rupture is less risky.  It should produce a good natural appearance and feel.  My personal target is roughly a 36C size, although we know how wildly variable that can be.  My current band size is 34 3/4 inches, and I wear a 34B or 36A, with padding.  I'm 5'7" and 135 lbs, not a terribly large person.

[Northern Star Girl]

Oops. I didn't photograph the soup. It's the usual rich broth with caramelized onion. Thin baguette slices are toasted and floated on the broth, and the top is covered in Gruyere and broiled under a salamander or oven broiler element until melted.  It is usually made and served in croc bowls.

I did get the quiche.


I finished the day with a little shoe shopping and picked up some needed tops.


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@Michele_P
Dear Michelle:
Great pictures.   
A wonderful day for sure..... french onion soup and a tasty quiche ...
.....and a new pair of black patent wedge heel shoes. 

Also your BA plans are exciting news..... hmmm, more surgery, how exciting is that!

Thank you for keeping your followers updated with your latest life endeavors.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

This is an odd day.  I've had someone staying with me most of this year in the second bedroom ("Laurie's Room", she'll tell you...).  Today, she is leaving under unfortunate circumstances, medical stuff, and relocating across the country.

We've become good friends, and this is a sad event.  I'm helping her get stuff together today, and tonight will be taking her to the airport.

I hope she does well.

It will be a bit odd living alone again.  Nobody else in the place, cooking for one, and so on.  It's an odd day.

[Faith]

bummer. It can be tough to all of a sudden live alone. Even if not much goes on their presence is felt. You'll need to work out a rotating list of visitors, like a time share, to help ease the feeling of loss.

Faith

[Northern Star Girl]

This is an odd day.  I've had someone staying with me most of this year in the second bedroom ("Laurie's Room", she'll tell you...).  Today, she is leaving under unfortunate circumstances, medical stuff, and relocating across the country.

We've become good friends, and this is a sad event.  I'm helping her get stuff together today, and tonight will be taking her to the airport.

I hope she does well.

It will be a bit odd living alone again.  Nobody else in the place, cooking for one, and so on.  It's an odd day.

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
I am so very sorry to hear about your friend and her apparent medical difficulties .... and then to top it off she is relocating far way.   Both you and her are losing a pleasant time of not being alone for the time that she has stayed with you.... however the very good news is that with Facetime, Skype, emails, etc, you both can still stay in very close and personal touch with each other.  I am trusting and hoping that all goes well for her. ... and for you as well as you deal with the emotions of all of this. 

To give you some relief for your parting sorrow, you should arrange for  @Laurie  to come down from Oregon for an extended visit to re-occupy her room again and to give you much needed companionship... I am guessing but probably a 10 to 11 hour drive in her famous truck that has made numerous trips around the country....  or there are plenty of cheap flights that could get her there in less than 2 hours.

Hugs and hugs and well wishes I am sending to you.
Danielle

[Donica]

This is an odd day.  I've had someone staying with me most of this year in the second bedroom ("Laurie's Room", she'll tell you...).  Today, she is leaving under unfortunate circumstances, medical stuff, and relocating across the country.

We've become good friends, and this is a sad event.  I'm helping her get stuff together today, and tonight will be taking her to the airport.

I hope she does well.

It will be a bit odd living alone again.  Nobody else in the place, cooking for one, and so on.  It's an odd day.

I'm sorry to here that Michelle. I hope your friend fares well, and you too. This is an emotional time and IDK about you, but I would have to stay away from the wine tonight because that would only serve to help turn on the water leaks.

Warm hugs Michelle!!!
Donica.

[JudiBlueEyes]

Too bad about your boarders medical circumstance.  I hope it all works out well.  Having the place to yourself will be a bit of a break and may encourage you to get out and about more often now that your healing has progressed.  As noted, there is always Laurie to call on for a bit of excitement!
Judi

[Michelle_P]

While my house guest was enjoying herself today, luxuriating in a bubble bath, dining on fine local Italian cuisine, and running around with her friends, I was working on the One Day Ham Class, a 12 hour marathon in which we bring in a bunch of students and get them ready to take the examination for an amateur radio license.

We finish the day with a huge exam session.  75 people took exams today, and 60 of them passed and are receiving licenses.

I got home tired, and then knocked together a quick dinner for my guest and I.   Tomorrow morning we will be off to church, and then will go out to breakfast. 

Life goes on...  💕