A friend recommended Susan's Place to me awhile back as a good resource and great community, and I've lurked on-and-off, but I've decided it's time to come out of the shadows. Yes, pun intended.
I am under the trans* umbrella personally, but I've yet to find a good term for myself, beyond the sometimes bitter joke of "gender-<not allowed>(ed-up)". The TLDR of my story is that I was assigned female at birth, but my father wanted a son. When my sister was born, and my mother decided she was done having children, my father decided he was going to raise me as male. This meant that I was punished severely for any interest in anything feminine, feminine dress was punished, I was trained in how to walk and move, use male vocal tones and word choice, hold myself in masculine ways, and so forth.
I identify strongly as female, but my experience was in no way that of a cis woman. I've told my story in more depth on other queer/trans* communities, and several trans women commented to me that my experience was not that of a cis woman. On top of my father doing everything he could (successfully) to make me present as male, I also have severe PCOS; my diagnosing endocrinologist told me that I was among the most extreme cases she'd seen in over 20+ years of practice. My T levels were above 300. I experienced a puberty that was far more male in nature than female, including deepening of voice, extreme body hair, etc.
I'm 30, and I have only been able to do so much to undo what my father did. Even though I dress in very femme fashion, including clothing with significant cleavage, and various styles that can be frilly and fancy (I'm a goth leaning towards antiquity styles, although not full blown Victoriana; my temperature control won't allow for that), my girlfriend has mentioned she has to regularly remind herself based on how I present with my movements, word choice, and vocal tones, that I identify as female, not male. She has slipped up before and called me by male pronouns, with plenty of apologies. She is very trans supportive, and herself is genderfluid.
I am also here because my fiancee Hearthorn just came out as trans. She has given me permission to tell her story here, because she wants support herself, but does not have the time after work to engage in much social media. It's not something relaxing for her as it is for me. She is choosing not to transition for several reasons, so when I saw that Susan's had a forum specifically for that, I asked her if she would like me to make a post in hopes others would post their stories or encouraging things, and she asked me to please do so.
If it wasn't obvious from the mention of two partners, I am poly. I live in a household of 5, and I am involved with all in some way. Everyone here save one identifies somewhere under the trans* spectrum; trans*, trans woman, and genderfluid.
I'm also a practicing eclectic pagan. I'm queer, although the precise definition would be gynoromantic pansexual; I am attracted to female-identifying or feminine-leaning people, but physical body is irrelevant to me. I'm a third wave feminist of the opinion that my feminism will be intersectional or it will be BS. I'm disabled with multiple chronic pain conditions, and I am mentally ill; I have bipolar type 2, ADD, generalized anxiety disorder, and DID-NOS. I don't experience time loss with my DID and we have a functional working internal clan. I live in Western Washington, in a town where queer and trans* folk are pretty accepted, so I love it. I'm, in general, a weird writer goth chick, and proud of it!
I think that's the basics of me! I'm glad to meet you all, and looking forward to poking around the forums.
*No Profanity Please*
