Takeing T if you're Agender or genderfluid do you find it helped?

[Midnightstar]

I have a agender side to me that sometimes comes around and i also have a male side however i don't consider myself genderfluid i do consider myself a guy just with that switch sometimes. I'm thinking about taking T and i was wondering if anyone Agender or genderfluid has taken T before or if you're the other way around and take E then has it helped?
Or do you find that it's not improved due to feeling no gender or feeling like you're switching genders? And lets say it has helped you has it effected the your gender that you consider yourself any? Has the switches between stopped or proceeded?  Are there day's that T or E makes you want to go the back? I have a lot of questions on this because it concerns me lately.

[Elis]

T has helped massively for me; I have better confidence and self esteem plus the dysphoria has almost gone. I only feel around 10% agender and the rest male; so I assume that's why I'm getting such good effects from it.

It hasn't made me feel like I was 'switching' genders; but instead made me realise and start to accept I have a nb side. It's much easier to think when I don't have loud dysphoria.

I'm on gel and had to miss a daily dose of T recently. Even though I only went a day without the dysphoria was unbelievable. As soon as I applied the gel I just felt 'right' again.

My advice is if you strongly feel you'd feel more comfortable in a male body or/and feel mostly male then try T and see if it helps. If you try it for 3 months you won't get dramatic lomg term effects and you'll have peace of mind that as to whether it's the right choice for you. I had constant doubts for the first few months.

[Midnightstar]

T has helped massively for me; I have better confidence and self esteem plus the dysphoria has almost gone. I only feel around 10% agender and the rest male; so I assume that's why I'm getting such good effects from it.

It hasn't made me feel like I was 'switching' genders; but instead made me realise and start to accept I have a nb side. It's much easier to think when I don't have loud dysphoria.

I'm on gel and had to miss a daily dose of T recently. Even though I only went a day without the dysphoria was unbelievable. As soon as I applied the gel I just felt 'right' again.

My advice is if you strongly feel you'd feel more comfortable in a male body or/and feel mostly male then try T and see if it helps. If you try it for 3 months you won't get dramatic lomg term effects and you'll have peace of mind that as to whether it's the right choice for you. I had constant doubts for the first few months.

The thing is i'll never do the three months thing either way it has effects and that is what i am concerned over
i just find that to be a risk and i refuse. However i do want T a lot i get happy when others take it problem is i'm starting to wonder a lot about my Male side, is it male or masculine? And when i am feeling agender it's 80%
and when i'm feeling male it's strong yes but only when doing male things. but its lower then 80% recently.
So i get nervous like as much as i want it.

[Tristyn]

I have a agender side to me that sometimes comes around and i also have a male side however i don't consider myself genderfluid i do consider myself a guy just with that switch sometimes. I'm thinking about taking T and i was wondering if anyone Agender or genderfluid has taken T before or if you're the other way around and take E then has it helped?
Or do you find that it's not improved due to feeling no gender or feeling like you're switching genders? And lets say it has helped you has it effected the your gender that you consider yourself any? Has the switches between stopped or proceeded?  Are there day's that T or E makes you want to go the back? I have a lot of questions on this because it concerns me lately.

I feel a lot like this. Like I know I am a man but there's a lot about me that feels like there's no gender there. Or that there is a gender but it is unidentifiable by general binary's standards.

Not long ago, I became very desperate about wanting to feel "normal" to the point that I wanted to take E because I am AFAB and I had foolishly hoped to be able to rid myself of the dysphoria by adding more of the stuff that I think is making me sad. Actually my T levels are a little too low and it is to my understanding that everyone, male or female, needs some level of both hormones at a balance I think. But in my case, I think more T would help tremendously ease my dysphoria since I already feel like a dude overall. I don't ever feel like a girl. Never. I'm not sure how E could actually help anyone feel better if they already mostly identify themselves as a man, in my opinion. Just makes more sense to be on T.

[Sno]

Hi Tristyn,

Is your thinking that you would be denying your non-binary side, if you transitioned to a more masculine hormonal mix.?

If we rephrase this as a thought experiment, if I could throw a switch, and my major dysphoria is reduced allowing me to better express my whole identity, would I?

In the end, T doesn't make a societal 'male' it is an attribute of the man.

Does that make sense.?

Sno.

[Midnightstar]

Kinda, it confuses me a little
and no i'm not denying my non binary side i just don't consider myself non binary

[Sno]

Hi Tristan!

I'm sorry, I'm having a really bad words day - a side effect of dysphoria for me - its why I asked for a sense check, I was also a little thrown by the Tristan/Tristyn thing too..

Your 80:20 male/agender is very similar to my 80:20 Female/Neutrois, and I use Non-binary as a catch-all if I get asked about it (especially as most of the time i wear a man-suit, and mainly classed as weird .. lol.), as I feel that I don't fit into a binary definition fully.

Elis has posted some sage advise, about what to expect - and what the impact on dysphoria may be.

Talking it through with a doctor should get you access to an endocrinologist, who will be able to properly advise you. I would also talk this through with your therapist

Yes, there are consequences of talking T longer term, but if you are open with your endocrinologist, they should be able to help avoid/ mitigate those consequences as a very short term treatment, to help decide what path you feel better on - the aim of the hormone treatment is to make our dysphoria less, and there are lots of natal cis females with elevated T levels, thanks to PCOS.

There are also trans men who do not take T - It doesn't make make a societal 'male' i.e. some one who functions as a male in society.

T simply produces secondary characteristics that enable them to be read as 'male' more easily.

Hopefully that's clearer.?

Sno

[Tommy K]

I present as male full-time, with the aim of getting on T and getting surgery.

[MzAlexis]

  For me I consider myself in the middle but definitely to the female side (genetic male).  I've taken Estrogen at different times and would have stayed on at least a low dose full time if I had my way (wife had issues with it though she accepted me as being both male and female). I just ordered some E this week and plan on staying on it.  To me the issue is Who are You? and are you Comfortable with yourself? For me being Male is difficult and though I don't plan on transitioning to Female I do want my hormones to match my gender where it is at as from my experience I am much happier / feel right in my body there.
  I guess what I am trying to say is my advise to anyone in the middle is accept and be you ~ and if you do take anything just try to align with who you are internally rather than trying to get rid of part of yourself, Just my Op.

[Jacqueline]

  For me I consider myself in the middle but definitely to the female side (genetic male).  I've taken Estrogen at different times and would have stayed on at least a low dose full time if I had my way (wife had issues with it though she accepted me as being both male and female). I just ordered some E this week and plan on staying on it.  To me the issue is Who are You? and are you Comfortable with yourself? For me being Male is difficult and though I don't plan on transitioning to Female I do want my hormones to match my gender where it is at as from my experience I am much happier / feel right in my body there.
  I guess what I am trying to say is my advise to anyone in the middle is accept and be you ~ and if you do take anything just try to align with who you are internally rather than trying to get rid of part of yourself, Just my Op.

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[DoYouRealize]

My advice: look at your social world and your "identity" world - not just your own identity but what kind of social group you "identify with."

I know quite a few transmasculine folks who were very very happy in their "queer" social world... totally accepted as transguys or genderqueer or whatever they called themselves... and then.... they took T.

After a couple years, when we start looking like men (not like cute androgynous femme boys, but MEN) our happy femmy queer social circle begins to feel off. We are hairy. We have deep voices. We aren't as empathetic. We "make the women feel uncomfortable." We aren't welcome in (almost always femme-centered) "queer" spaces any more. Or we are welcome, but have to tolerate hearing our friends openly bash and make fun of the hated "cis men."

Some of us then try to find male friends, so we can feel good about being masculine (which we can't feel in "queer" spaces). Maybe we are gay and look for gay guy friends. We then figure out where the gay guys hang out, and find that gay male spaces are ALSO swarming with estrogen-based femme "queers," pushing the gay men into the margins of their own spaces!  Gay clubs aren't gay clubs any more.  I've even heard several women - without any irony or awareness whatsoever - call Radical Faerie men "oppressors" for protecting male-only safe space! It's heartbreaking.

So then many of us sort of give up, and we gotta just be regular guys and hang out with straight people.

This might not happen to everybody but it's worth mentioning. Are you willing to venture out of queer social circles, maybe even leave "queer" social circles (including online circles, like Tumblr) behind, and hang out with regular ordinary non-trans people? Be a regular ordinary guy?

The reason I am addressing the social world aspect is that, parts of your post sounded very much like someone who is informed by "queer" culture, maybe even youth "queer" culture, such as the idea of switching between genders, or playing with T experimentally. That kind of sounds like a "queer youth culture" way of talking. Please forgive me if I made an assumption.

Now... if you're just a guy, a regular guy, and you want to be a regular guy with guy friends... and you have very serious no-other-option-to-deal-with-it dysphoria... and are comfortable with ALL of the effects of testosterone... Yes, take T. It very well may be great for you if you want to walk around in the world as a man and don't mind looking and smelling like one.

Transition on T isn't about your personal definition of identity, or self-expression. It's about changing your sex, your literal, biological sex, in a very tangible, medical way. Your appearance, smell, temperament, tastes, empathy abilities, strength, interests, sense of humor, social perspectives, sexual orientation... pretty much any part of your personality could potentially change and change a lot. Most people find it worth it. Be prepared, and make friends who have positive feelings about hanging out with dudes. Because... well, just saying.