New to transition

[DemiMedina95]

Hello everyone, I'm new to this website.
I've recently discovered it.
I need some serious advice.
I'm 20, turning 21 next month.
All my life i've known I wasn't meant to be a boy.
Two years ago I came to accept the fact that I wasn't a "Gay boy" and I was in fact transgender.
I want to transition. Medically I mean.
I've chosen my name, Demi. I live in Miami, Florida.
Changed my name on all social media to Demi.
Started identifying as female with all of my friends, and some family.
BUT, I haven't done the most important part (at least to me).
I haven't come out to my mom as transgender.
She just thinks i'm a gay boy who likes makeup and dressing kinda feminine.
When I came out Gay, she took it VERY well. Like EXTREMELY. She didn't care at all. She was accepting.
But this is different, THIS scares the living hell out of me. How do I come out to her?
I'd like to start hormones soon, how do I do that? Can my family doctor prescribe it? Will my medicaid cover it?
Going to leave a link below to my instagram so y'all can see me.

https://www.instagram.com/trulyyoursdemi/

[V M]

Hi Demi 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[PrincessCrystal]

If you're in college, you can get a psychologist through the campus.  If not, I suggest you look for one some other way.  Your mother sounds like she'd probably accept it, but if you want to test, ask her what she thinks about transgender people.

[Sophia Sage]

Hi Demi, yeah, you generally need a letter of recommendation from a psychologist or gender therapist before a doctor will prescribe HRT.  There are some places in the country that are informed consent only, though -- I have no idea about where you live in particular.  Some prescriptions can be very cheap -- I believe oral estradiol from Walmart is pretty damn cheap these days.  Oh, but a friend of mine (postop) out west is on medicaid, and gets her bottle of injectible for like a buck.  So there you go.

Getting back to your mother, as you probably discovered when coming out a couple years ago, it changes the dynamic of the relationship.  That's what coming out is supposed to so.  Given how positive she was previously, I'd suspect she's going to be just as open-minded about this, though of course there are no guarantees.  "Mom, you know when I said I was gay?  I'm not sure that was entirely accurate... actually, I think I'm female.  Well, I'm supposed to be female, at any rate, and I'm seriously considering transitioning to do that."

Best of luck in your journey!

[DemiMedina95]

Hi Demi, yeah, you generally need a letter of recommendation from a psychologist or gender therapist before a doctor will prescribe HRT.  There are some places in the country that are informed consent only, though -- I have no idea about where you live in particular.  Some prescriptions can be very cheap -- I believe oral estradiol from Walmart is pretty damn cheap these days.  Oh, but a friend of mine (postop) out west is on medicaid, and gets her bottle of injectible for like a buck.  So there you go.

Getting back to your mother, as you probably discovered when coming out a couple years ago, it changes the dynamic of the relationship.  That's what coming out is supposed to so.  Given how positive she was previously, I'd suspect she's going to be just as open-minded about this, though of course there are no guarantees.  "Mom, you know when I said I was gay?  I'm not sure that was entirely accurate... actually, I think I'm female.  Well, I'm supposed to be female, at any rate, and I'm seriously considering transitioning to do that."

Best of luck in your journey!

Thank you so much for your advice!
My relationship with my mom changed for the best when I came out to her!
We weren't as close as we are now, We go shopping together, she asks me for advice on stuff.
I'm working on becoming a full-time makeup artist so she lets me make her up almost every day lol.
She buys me tons of makeup. I do my full make-up in front of her when we go out, She's very supportive.
We came to America in 2001. We're Cuban. Cubans are very traditional. So that's what scares me the most.
I have my suspicions that she MIGHT know because a couple of months ago she showed me a story of a hispanic family that is help their 12 year old daughter transition to a boy, and she said "Isn't that beautiful?".
I also constantly watch Gigi Gorgeous videos, which she enjoys watching with me occasionally.
I really want to tell her, because if she accepted it I know she'd be an amazing support system for me.
Emotionally, and financially.
I love my mom and I can't see my life without her so it would tear me apart if I came out trans to her and she denied me.

[TransAm]

Thank you so much for your advice!
My relationship with my mom changed for the best when I came out to her!
We weren't as close as we are now, We go shopping together, she asks me for advice on stuff.
I'm working on becoming a full-time makeup artist so she lets me make her up almost every day lol.
She buys me tons of makeup. I do my full make-up in front of her when we go out, She's very supportive.
We came to America in 2001. We're Cuban. Cubans are very traditional. So that's what scares me the most.
I have my suspicions that she MIGHT know because a couple of months ago she showed me a story of a hispanic family that is help their 12 year old daughter transition to a boy, and she said "Isn't that beautiful?".
I also constantly watch Gigi Gorgeous videos, which she enjoys watching with me occasionally.
I really want to tell her, because if she accepted it I know she'd be an amazing support system for me.
Emotionally, and financially.
I love my mom and I can't see my life without her so it would tear me apart if I came out trans to her and she denied me.

It really sounds like she already knows and is doing her best to 'prime' you for coming out to her.
When I was sixteen, I came out as a lesbian because, at the time, the label seemed to fit. I was extremely scared to tell my parents or grandparents so I figured not saying anything would hide it.
Nope.
My grandma (hilariously) started talking about Ellen DeGeneres and buying me flannel shirts. She later admitted it was her way of letting me know she knew and was 100% okay with it.
Mom, on the other hand, sort of waited for me to say something and just kind of said, "Yep, I know".

I realize that everyone's individual cases are different, but... given that she said what she did about the family with the trans boy, I -highly- doubt she has any compunctions about trans people. She sounds like a really open-minded, lovely person.

[Sinclair]

My mom actually thought Caitlyn Jenner looked fabulous!
She said she looked better as woman, than as a man before she transitioned.

I don't get the Jenner hate. She inspired me. Anyways, let's hope this site remains inclusive.

[DemiMedina95]

I don't get the Jenner hate. She inspired me. Anyways, let's hope this site remains inclusive.

She inspired me as well!
Caitlyn Jenner and Gigi Gorgeous are the reason I finally accepted my reality.
I was watching the Caitlyn special 20/20 with Diane Sawyer, and started thinking about it.
The next day there was a Meet & greet at my local Sephora with Gigi Gorgeous, so I randomly decided to go.
When I met her and saw her, on the drive back home I told my close friend I was going to transition.
Seeing Gigi was like "alright, this is possible!".
And if it weren't for Caitlyn I wouldn't have ever thought it would be possible, when I saw how many people supported her transition, it was amazing!

[Sophia Sage]

Demi, yeah, I'm pretty sure your mom knows, if she's showing you a story of transition and describing it as "beautiful."  Which is absolutely beautiful on her part. 

[CarlyMcx]

Your family doctor probably cannot prescribe hormones.  Hormones for gender transition can only be prescribed by an endocrinologist, and you will either need a hormone letter from a gender therapist or you will need to find an endocrinologist who operates on an informed consent basis.  (Usually that is done through your local LGBT center.)

To get your hormone letter you will need to see a therapist until you are diagnosed as transgender, and the number of visits you will need will depend on the therapist and how they determine you fit the WPATH criteria.

[Janes Groove]

Many of the larger cities have "informed consent" clinics.  You don't need a therapist's letter or anything. You just go in, say you are transgender and ask to start HRT. I'm on Medicaid and where I live the local Planned Parenthood office provides transgender services to Medicaid patients on an "informed consent" model basis.  I did not need a letter from a therapist to begin HRT. I just signed an informed consent form and a week later, I was transitioning.

The waiting list to get my first appointment was 40 days though.

[DemiMedina95]

UPDATE:

Thinking of telling her soon, my grandma is currently on visit here from Cuba.
She's leaving the 14th of November. I plan on telling my mom sometime after my grandma leaves.
My MAIN goal is telling her before 2016 is over. That was kinda my goal 2 years ago when I came out Gay.
I'm feeling a lot of the same feelings as before I came out gay. Nervous, Excited, frightened.
I plan on telling her and leaving the house to a friend's place for a couple of days if things go sour.
If they go good, then great!

ALSO,
My birthday is November 30th so i'd be telling her pretty close to my birthday.
Hopefully i'll have my 21st bday with a clean start.