Asking for help again

[EmilyRyan]

1.  Job:  You have tried every employer in your town without any success.  Which means if you want to make money right now, you either need to set up your own small business like mowing lawns or washing cars, or you need to set up an online business like selling your photos on Shutterstock.

If I may ask what should I do if none of the above works out either?? 

2.  Transportation:  You have to have a way to get around.  And bumming rides off family and friends is not it.  If you cannot learn how to drive a car successfully then the other options are:  Motorcycle/motor scooter (if you can complete the license requirements), bicycle, public transportation (buses and trains) and walking.

Most likely it'll either have to be public transportation or friends I could never learn to ride a bike either due to balance issues.

3.  Let's talk about that autism diagnosis:  AFAIK, there is no autism clinic next door to you or even in your town.  You have no money to pay for a diagnosis and no way to get to a clinic that is not in your town.  Which means that the autism diagnosis is not going to happen first.  So you have to go back to #1 and #2.

Correct there is no autism clinic or autism therapists in my town and county for that matter I would have to go to Nashville, Brentwood, Franklin, Murfreesboro, or worst case scenario East Tennessee.

First, get a trickle of income going and figure out how to get around.  Once you have a little money, then buy a ride to Nashville and go to the transgender group at the LGBT center.  The people there will have better suggestions than anybody here because they have the advantage of local knowledge.

Still not sure how I'm gonna make any income while at home since my parents are still forcing me to focus on being a teacher (which I'm really not they just don't know I'm not). I've tried telling them I want to do something else and that I'm not cut out to be a teacher but it always escalate to a near argument so I have no choice but to back down and give in. There's no way to convince them I want to pursue and do other things. So yeah like I keep yakking on I have to move out first before I can do any of the above.  I could make secret income if I sell photos on the internet but what are the chances of people actually wanting to buy my photos unless everyone here is willing to buy??

[Cindy]

1.  Job:  You have tried every employer in your town without any success.  Which means if you want to make money right now, you either need to set up your own small business like mowing lawns or washing cars, or you need to set up an online business like selling your photos on Shutterstock.

If I may ask what should I do if none of the above works out either?? 

Emily,
Your immediate response is central to the whole issue.

You make it work.

How?

By trying.

[EmilyRyan]

If I may ask what should I do if none of the above works out either?? 

Emily,
Your immediate response is central to the whole issue.

You make it work.

How?

By trying.

How though?? I don't necessarily have the means or resources and living in a rural area presents problems as well.   

[Cindy]

If I may ask what should I do if none of the above works out either?? 

Emily,
Your immediate response is central to the whole issue.

You make it work.

How?

By trying.

How though?? I don't necessarily have the means or resources and living in a rural area presents problems as well.

Every time someone says there is a problem, then there is an opportunity. Even your perceived isolation is an opportunity; you could start up an internet group for people such as yourself who are in isolation and need work opportunities. It becomes self feeding, it needs hard work. Lots of it. But if you do it and work hard it has a chance; a massive one.

I have no idea of your community, but there must be things that families don't want to do. Wash their car, clean their bathroom, clean their windows, Ironing. Anything that someone doesn't want to do is an opportunity for money making.

You don't want to do that? Then so what! You are earning money to get somewhere else. I've told you a long time ago, I had a pair of jeans and 2 shirts when I came to Australia. It was one shirt more than I needed. I had nothing and no one but I scraped through. I was terrified most of the time, what would happen if I failed? Easy - I'd starve.

You seem to be waiting for a validation of your excuses; "I'm autistic will someone prove it. I'm .... will someone prove it."   

I was served today at the store check out by a person with no arms, (well she had hands but no arms, probably a thalidomide pregnancy), it didn't seem to worry her; didn't worry me. She packed my bag with one foot and scanned with the other. I increasingly cannot talk as my vocal cord gets too tired, I only have one; the other went due to my throat cancer, but she didn't seem to mind and I wrote on my note pad to her so we could chat. I had a great time, a nice day, so did she.

I imagine her life has been damn hard but she still sings her life song.

Emily maybe it is time to stop worrying. Go for being a teacher - a noble profession- but you may never be able to sing your life song.

As ever it is your call.

Cindy

[EmilyRyan]

How though?? I don't necessarily have the means or resources and living in a rural area presents problems as well.


Every time someone says there is a problem, then there is an opportunity. Even your perceived isolation is an opportunity; you could start up an internet group for people such as yourself who are in isolation and need work opportunities. It becomes self feeding, it needs hard work. Lots of it. But if you do it and work hard it has a chance; a massive one.

I have no idea of your community, but there must be things that families don't want to do. Wash their car, clean their bathroom, clean their windows, Ironing. Anything that someone doesn't want to do is an opportunity for money making.

You don't want to do that? Then so what! You are earning money to get somewhere else. I've told you a long time ago, I had a pair of jeans and 2 shirts when I came to Australia. It was one shirt more than I needed. I had nothing and no one but I scraped through. I was terrified most of the time, what would happen if I failed? Easy - I'd starve.

You seem to be waiting for a validation of your excuses; "I'm autistic will someone prove it. I'm .... will someone prove it."   

I was served today at the store check out by a person with no arms, (well she had hands but no arms, probably a thalidomide pregnancy), it didn't seem to worry her; didn't worry me. She packed my bag with one foot and scanned with the other. I increasingly cannot talk as my vocal cord gets too tired, I only have one; the other went due to my throat cancer, but she didn't seem to mind and I wrote on my note pad to her so we could chat. I had a great time, a nice day, so did she.

I imagine her life has been damn hard but she still sings her life song.

Emily maybe it is time to stop worrying. Go for being a teacher - a noble profession- but you may never be able to sing your life song.

As ever it is your call.

Cindy

Again how??

[Cindy]

How though?? I don't necessarily have the means or resources and living in a rural area presents problems as well.


Every time someone says there is a problem, then there is an opportunity. Even your perceived isolation is an opportunity; you could start up an internet group for people such as yourself who are in isolation and need work opportunities. It becomes self feeding, it needs hard work. Lots of it. But if you do it and work hard it has a chance; a massive one.

I have no idea of your community, but there must be things that families don't want to do. Wash their car, clean their bathroom, clean their windows, Ironing. Anything that someone doesn't want to do is an opportunity for money making.

You don't want to do that? Then so what! You are earning money to get somewhere else. I've told you a long time ago, I had a pair of jeans and 2 shirts when I came to Australia. It was one shirt more than I needed. I had nothing and no one but I scraped through. I was terrified most of the time, what would happen if I failed? Easy - I'd starve.

You seem to be waiting for a validation of your excuses; "I'm autistic will someone prove it. I'm .... will someone prove it."   

I was served today at the store check out by a person with no arms, (well she had hands but no arms, probably a thalidomide pregnancy), it didn't seem to worry her; didn't worry me. She packed my bag with one foot and scanned with the other. I increasingly cannot talk as my vocal cord gets too tired, I only have one; the other went due to my throat cancer, but she didn't seem to mind and I wrote on my note pad to her so we could chat. I had a great time, a nice day, so did she.

I imagine her life has been damn hard but she still sings her life song.

Emily maybe it is time to stop worrying. Go for being a teacher - a noble profession- but you may never be able to sing your life song.

As ever it is your call.

Cindy

Again how??

By doing something that you seem so reluctant to do.

TRY

[EmilyRyan]

Again how??


By doing something that you seem so reluctant to do.

TRY

If I knew how I would I really don't know how to go about the suggestions that's why I keep asking

[LizK]

Obviously you have a computer...do you have a printer? if not I am sure you can locate one. Make yourself up a personal advert and place it in all types of places. The local grocery store or supermarkets usually have community boards. Can you mow lawns? How much do you know about computers? can you fix them?, can you wash cars or babysit?...put those things on your flyer.  can you deliver junk mail to letter boxes, can you collect for charity, make any of those suggestions on your flyer and make sure you have a phone number. Is there anywhere you can do volunteer work. Volunteer work can quite often open doors to jobs

Someone suggested loading your photo's to sell online...and you are right who would buy them...no one unless they have somewhere to view them. Try any, all or none of these suggestions it is entirely up to you.

Hope that is of some help

Liz

[EmilyRyan]

Obviously you have a computer...do you have a printer? if not I am sure you can locate one. Make yourself up a personal advert and place it in all types of places. The local grocery store or supermarkets usually have community boards. Can you mow lawns? How much do you know about computers? can you fix them?, can you wash cars or babysit?...put those things on your flyer.  can you deliver junk mail to letter boxes, can you collect for charity, make any of those suggestions on your flyer and make sure you have a phone number. Is there anywhere you can do volunteer work. Volunteer work can quite often open doors to jobs

Someone suggested loading your photo's to sell online...and you are right who would buy them...no one unless they have somewhere to view them. Try any, all or none of these suggestions it is entirely up to you.

Hope that is of some help

Liz

Thing is, and I'm sorry for being dismissive of these ideas, I something with a guaranteed income and I'm really not capable of doing half these things either for one lack of resources/income needed to do some of these things and I don't have a vehicle and I can't drive anyway (let alone operate a lawn mower).

I feel like I'm getting more and more hated when I have to give legit explanations like this    

[LizK]

"I'm really not capable of doing half these things ......

Great so you are capable of doing at least half the things I suggested  ...that is a positive response.  So which of things you think you can do are you going to do?

Liz

[LizK]

"I feel like I'm getting more and more hated when I have to give legit explanations like this    "

Not by me 

Liz

[FTMax]

Something with guaranteed income is going to be hard to come by for someone with little experience. While most part time jobs will pay you something, a specific amount isn't going to be guaranteed.

Your folks want to pay for your schooling to be a teacher. Why not get connected to some teacher forums and see if there's any way it could be a good fit for you? Maybe teaching young kids or kids with special needs would be a good option. Maybe just being an instructional aide/classroom assistant. Explaining your situation and asking for feedback from experienced professionals might be a good way to either build your confidence in the idea or explain to your parents why it won't work out, from people who would actually know.

Also - Why do you not think you are capable of doing any of those things? Almost everything listed there was manual labor. If you've got two arms and two legs, there is no reason why you can't at least give them a shot.

I don't ever want to do my job, or like doing it. I hate the work I do, but it's a consistent pay check that I can't replace yet with money from my own businesses. You'll find a lot of people our age aren't doing anything that falls within their interests or skill set. We're taking what we can find in order to get by. If you're desperate enough for change, you get desperate enough to try a lot of things that you may not feel competent or comfortable doing.

The key is that you have to try something.

[izzy]

I can see your in a loop. Maybe you could just try a different type of job environment that's less of a rush, and a more controlling environment with less stimuli. Maybe you could work in horticulture or computer work?

[EmilyRyan]

Something with guaranteed income is going to be hard to come by for someone with little experience. While most part time jobs will pay you something, a specific amount isn't going to be guaranteed.

Shouldn't be that way experience or no experience if we are required to work to meet ends meets then jobs should be something guaranteed and employers need to become more disabled/autism friendly.   

Also - Why do you not think you are capable of doing any of those things? Almost everything listed there was manual labor. If you've got two arms and two legs, there is no reason why you can't at least give them a shot.

They're just not feasible, sorry I need a job and like I keep saying I can't do nothing till I can move out I'm gonna keep repeating till everyone here understands that.

[Mariah]

Sadly, this isn't how it works here. They figure everyone is replaceable. For every one employee they have several potential people who loved to have that job out there for most jobs. This allows them to be picker. Secondly, it is all about costs to them. If they can save money, then they will even if that means letting go of an employee. Why can't you get a job while under their roof. Here is the thing. Only way out from that roof is by getting a job Emily. Hugs
Mariah

Shouldn't be that way experience or no experience if we are required to work to meet ends meets then jobs should be something guaranteed and employers need to become more disabled/autism friendly.   
They're just not feasible, sorry I need a job and like I keep saying I can't do nothing till I can move out I'm gonna keep repeating till everyone here understands that.

[EmilyRyan]

Sadly, this isn't how it works here. They figure everyone is replaceable. For every one employee they have several potential people who loved to have that job out there for most jobs. This allows them to be picker. Secondly, it is all about costs to them. If they can save money, then they will even if that means letting go of an employee. Why can't you get a job while under their roof. Here is the thing. Only way out from that roof is by getting a job Emily. Hugs
Mariah

I can't get a job under their roof because they won't let me they want me to be a teacher instead and every time I try discussing this with them it almost turns into a nasty argument that I don't won't so basically I can't just drop what they want me to do if I can I wouldn't be repeating myself endlessly.

Also the ableist attitude this country has needs to end

[Mariah]

It won't end. This country has a free enterprise system and based on our freedoms they won't be telling companies and employers what to do. Then let them know you don't want to be a teacher. It's not you. There has to be something you would be good at. Hugs
Mariah

I can't get a job under their roof because they won't let me they want me to be a teacher instead and every time I try discussing this with them it almost turns into a nasty argument that I don't won't so basically I can't just drop what they want me to do if I can I wouldn't be repeating myself endlessly.

Also the ableist attitude this country has needs to end

[EmilyRyan]

It won't end. This country has a free enterprise system and based on our freedoms they won't be telling companies and employers what to do. Then let them know you don't want to be a teacher. It's not you. There has to be something you would be good at. Hugs
Mariah

So you're defending a problem that severely impacts people from getting meaningful work??

[Mariah]

No, I'm just saying that is how it works. I'm not saying I like how it works, but that is how things go in this country. I was always told if I didn't like something to something about. Why don't you try running for office then and do something about a system that you don't agree with. Hugs
Mariah

So you're defending a problem that severely impacts people from getting meaningful work??

[Dena]

Shouldn't be that way experience or no experience if we are required to work to meet ends meets then jobs should be something guaranteed and employers need to become more disabled/autism friendly.   

When I was young, to motivate us my parents told us that we needed to do well in school or we would end up digging ditches. They now have machines for that, however you can still end up a janitor or picking crops in fields. There are jobs that require little training and often harvesting crops is piece work where you are paid only for what you harvest.

The only one who can make this work is you. If you are unwilling to put in the effort now, you may soon find yourself homeless and starving. You should make a rule of no more video games until you have school under control or you have found employment. Your survival is far more important than your pleasure.