Do trans-women ever mostly want to be pretty? (mtf)

[Brooke]

Come on be honest. Don't you just want to be pretty enough that some guy is intrigued enough to pull over and help you fix your flat tire?

Isn't that what AAA is for? :-p

Seriously though, besides social interaction benefits, I would like to be pretty more for me than anyone else. Same reason I have a beauty routine- it's a form of creative expression and self care

[RobynD]

For me also, Prettiness is pretty subjective and my main goal in life has always been to be treated as feminine. Even when i identified as a feminine guy. When i came out as trans that really did not change very much. I have my prettiness and parts of my looks i am thankful for, other parts i am critical of, but i understand it is all temporary as we are.

I'm thrilled to be a woman every single day. Whatever bad things in life, i often look to that for comfort.

[Anne Blake]

I came into learning about me, Anne, at the age of 67. So what is pretty? For me there are three different perspectives. The prettiness or beauty of a 20 something starlet will never happen and happily it is not my desire. My two other description of pretty are: first, I have a need to not alienate those around me for I seek acceptance, passing would be fun but acceptance and being comfortable in the world is my goal. My last pretty is to be able to accept and like the face that looks back at me in the mirror each day. I happen to be lucky enough to meet these last two definitions of pretty.

Anne

[Brooke]

My last pretty is to be able to accept and like the face that looks back at me in the mirror each day.

I still have troubles with that one. Makeup definitely helps, but without it I still think I look masculine.

[FreyasRedemption]

When I first started to accept being a trans woman, I had this notion in my head that I should avoid being stereotypical, as in "trans women tend to be overly feminine, even more so that most cis women. And as such, I thought that in my case all this was mostly just a matter of bodily change. Now I realise that I was completely wrong with that. I really like dressing super femininely and doing my best to appear beautiful, all because it just feels...good and natural. Like I'm supposed to be doing that. This, along with feeling seriously terrible about my genitals even existing on a daily basis is why I think I'm a trans woman.

[RobynD]

When I first started to accept being a trans woman, I had this notion in my head that I should avoid being stereotypical, as in "trans women tend to be overly feminine, even more so that most cis women. And as such, I thought that in my case all this was mostly just a matter of bodily change. Now I realise that I was completely wrong with that. I really like dressing super femininely and doing my best to appear beautiful, all because it just feels...good and natural. Like I'm supposed to be doing that. This, along with feeling seriously terrible about my genitals even existing on a daily basis is why I think I'm a trans woman.

I had some of those same notions when i began to transition. I still consider my style to be more tomboy or tomgirl in compared to other women, i have though, been presenting steadily at least a bit more feminine as changes have occurred. My wife confirms that she sees this. I'm still a jeans and booties type of person, but my hair is now long and i am wearing more makeup than in the past. I'm sort of making myself wear a dress or skirt at least once per week to work and i am liking it more. Is this to feel prettier? I'm not sure really good question.

Really interesting discussion and answers.

[Dena]

Come on be honest. Don't you just want to be pretty enough that some guy is intrigued enough to pull over and help you fix your flat tire?

I have aluminum wheels with disk brakes. I would be nervous about somebody else getting them to tight or to loose. The result of changing them to many years myself.

[Michelle_P]

I have aluminum wheels with disk brakes. I would be nervous about somebody else getting them to tight or to loose. The result of changing them to many years myself.

See, folks?  Not a prettier sight in the world than a woman with a torque wrench.   

[jujubes1986]

Yea I wanna be looked at as pretty and feminine... is it a crime?


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[Brooke]

Yea I wanna be looked at as pretty and feminine... is it a crime?


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Only if you rob an Ulta, Mac, or Sephora in order to get to the end result ;-)

[jujubes1986]

Only if you rob an Ulta, Mac, or Sephora in order to get to the end result ;-)

Lol girl!


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[SadieBlake]

Yea I wanna be looked at as pretty and feminine... is it a crime?

I absolutely am aiming for as pretty as I can manage, the OP posed her question in terms of that being the primary reason for transitioning.

I know trans women running the gamut from decidedly pretty to drop dead gorgeous and none of them transitioned for that reason first.

Not judging, if that's someone's motivation I'm good with it. Sure I'd give both  testicles to be objectively pretty. And my choice to not pass is all about looks and vanity. I think my prettiest look will be as the most femme affect I can pull off without actually passing.

That is, I have no intention of wearing a wig because it's not workable in my chosen profession and I don't wish to affect different looks for working vs not working as I spend my time among the same people and dont care to radically change my appearance day-to-day.

If course I'll feel prettier when I no longer have a [sheenis] affecting the line of feminine attire but I expect I'll be the only one taking note there.

[Lady_Oracle]

going from ugly, to sort of pretty to society pretty has been an interesting rollercoaster

when I started transition it was survival mode, i just wanted to live ya know so "being pretty" for me was more of a goal that came from needing to pass vs like just wanting to be pretty to increase my attraction.

[Brooke]

I will also add that before transitioning I didn't feel that I had the freedom to express my feminine side through beauty- at least not in public.

I suppose that being handsome did not feel authentic. So transitioning has given me agency to present as pretty.


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[jentay1367]

Actually, the question is kind of redundant. What woman doesn't want to be pretty?  What man doesn't want to be handsome? Who doesn't want to be smart? Who doesn't want to be healthy? As humans, we all want everything we can get that's perceived as good. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a woman, trans or otherwise, who doesn't want to be "pretty".

[LizK]

  Locked for Review 

Liz

[LizK]

This thread is now open and I would like to remind members of the following policy regarding the topic of  ->-bleeped-<-

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,205614.0.html

Liz

[naa]

This thread is now open and I would like to remind members of the following policy regarding the topic of  ->-bleeped-<-

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,205614.0.html

Liz

Your link isn't working for me

[LizK]

Try this one

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,205614.0.html

[SadieBlake]

No go, perhaps you're viewing things only visible to mods?