Can not stop crying!

[Lily Rose]

  i have never considered myself a crier. i have cried but for what must be 2 months now i have cried every day i think. i am not on any kind of HRT but for example Adele has a song called "hello". just listened to it today and this song sends me into a panic, i can not breath and just cry. when this happens it can take a hour and sometimes longer to get a grip. i am living in a male body so, i wonder am i "suffering" from low T? or am i going through male meta pause? or am i feeling a life time of regret?

has anyone else felt this way?

[CanaSteve]

Hello. I think I can relate to this as this is something I get from time to time though for me it's happened since my teen age years (I'm 28 now) and tends to have allot to do with stress. Is work and family life going alright? If not that could be the cause with music acting sort of like an outlet, at least it tends to be like that for me. For me it can range from getting emotional over a song or movie and sometimes for strange things like being helpful to someone. Maybe some sort of stress relief might help?

[Dena]

I suspect it's because we go through life suppressing our emotions until we reach the breaking point and we admit our transgender nature. After that, our ability to bottle up emotions is greatly reduced and we need to give ourself permission to feel what we never were allowed to feel before. There is nothing wrong with you feeling and expressing emotions as it's a false macho attitude that force half the population to do something thats not natural to human nature.

[JayceeTG]

I sometimes want to just break out and cry about who and what I am but it never is able to come out. I have so many feelings when it comes to being Transgender and all the emotions are within me and the fact that I am still living FT as a man just drives me nuts because I want so badly to start the path to becoming a woman but I am scared beyond anything I have ever been scared about in my life!

[Lily Rose]

I sometimes want to just break out and cry about who and what I am but it never is able to come out. I have so many feelings when it comes to being Transgender and all the emotions are within me and the fact that I am still living FT as a man just drives me nuts because I want so badly to start the path to becoming a woman but I am scared beyond anything I have ever been scared about in my life!

  this is very much the same as myself. except apparently i no longer have any problems letting it out lol

btw this is the song in the op. doubt very much i will listen to it ever again lol

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,215094.msg1919567.html#msg1919567

[another_special_grrl]

hmmmm . . . MY OWN waterworx didn't start until about the 2nd month of HRT; maybe I was lucky 

I remember exactly, "when" tho - 1st ten minutes of the movie John Wick Chapter 1 

[jentay1367]

I think once you accepted you are a woman, you allowed yourself to access your emotions. Hence, the waterworks...It appears it just goes with the territory. Settle in and get used to it. Once you're on the girl dope, you'll find yourself crying for reasons you can't even understand.    BUT....you realize your not stuffing things any longer and lo and behold, your health improves. Who knew?

[Lily Rose]

Settle in and get used to it.

great!

[jentay1367]

great!

lol..............be positive! It helps keep your weight down via dehydration.

[Jacqueline]

Hello. I think I can relate to this as this is something I get from time to time though for me it's happened since my teen age years (I'm 28 now) and tends to have allot to do with stress. Is work and family life going alright? If not that could be the cause with music acting sort of like an outlet, at least it tends to be like that for me. For me it can range from getting emotional over a song or movie and sometimes for strange things like being helpful to someone. Maybe some sort of stress relief might help?

Welcome to the site. Thanks for sharing and the positive approach.

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[Janes Groove]

For the baby boom generation, growing up in our society, boys used to be taught not to cry from a very, very early age.   In some families this still is the norm.  But a psychologist once told me that feelings are essential.  The are what we use to "feel the world around us."  Denying them only lessens us.  Amputates us from an essential part of being human.  I was able to see through this crap pretty early and was able to cry pre-HRT.  When my dad died, at the hospice, I wailed liked a banshee, never cried so hard in my life.  While my older brother was stoic and masculine,  holding everything in. 

Since HRT, I found I cry more often but don't have the deep body wracking sobbing that I used to get from moments of great grief or sadness.  It's more like a gentle, spring rain that lasts a little while and is gone.

Once you're on the girl dope, you'll find yourself crying for reasons you can't even understand.  

I LOVE the girl dope.   

[jentay1367]

Ahhhhhh...I still remember my dear Father telling me after a loving smacking around, "shut up...or I'll really give you something to cry about!" My sister on the other hand, had free reign to slobber at will. Good for her....not so much for me.     The joys of growing up in the baby boom area to parents of a certain ilk. There were more of them than you'd expect.

[Janes Groove]

That actually sounds more like my mom.  A curious mix of part Betty Grable, part Viking shield maiden and part Spartan mother ("You either come home with your shield, or on it!") Her favorite saying was "Be a man-boy!" or "Man-boys don't cry."

Needless to say at 92, my transition does not sit well with her.

[Trystlynn]

Lily...

I have been on anti depressants for a few years, and I am now certain it is due to the inner conflict I have been having initiating my MTF process. If I stop them even for a day I find my sensitivity level compounded exponentially. Just someone performing well on "The Voice" has me in tears.

I now know that taking the ADs are just numbing myself to my true nature and I vacillate back and forth with their use as I allow my femininity to come forward. Now as the tears fall I welcome them with a bittersweet smile. I'm sure there are plenty more tears in my future and yours....let the feelings flow.We are all here for you.

[Gemini]

Lily...

I have been on anti depressants for a few years, and I am now certain it is due to the inner conflict I have been having initiating my MTF process. If I stop them even for a day I find my sensitivity level compounded exponentially. Just someone performing well on "The Voice" has me in tears.

I now know that taking the ADs are just numbing myself to my true nature and I vacillate back and forth with their use as I allow my femininity to come forward. Now as the tears fall I welcome them with a bittersweet smile. I'm sure there are plenty more tears in my future and yours....let the feelings flow.We are all here for you.

~Branwen

Hey Branwen! I've been on antidepressants off and on for years and I think I feel the same way as you about them--they numb me too much. I'm at the point now where I'd rather cry and feel like me than have dry eyes and feel like I'm in a sterile cage.

Lily--I was always a crier, even before I went on hormones. Only difference is now I can cry a lot harder. Like, just sobbing and sobbing. Which can be helpful sometimes, if you're really hurting.

[Lily Rose]

  have come to enjoy a good cry now lol. then the tears stopped and missed them so much looked for something to make me cry. found a movie called "the danish girl" and thought it was strange i chose a movie with the lead character is named "lili". even with such a bitter sweet ending, not one tear. probably because i know she is a actor playing a role, however even considering that i too have been playing a role my whole life and should make me cry. then i read the last two posts here and had to go for a nice long cry lol.

thank you ladies!

[jentay1367]

Could be that the movie sucked, too. Jus' sayin'.

[Lily Rose]

lol i can see that, but c'mon it is based on the second known transgender person from what i have read about her. there is a book written from her diaries and would love to read it.

[jentay1367]

yeah....shame it sucked.