Before I realized I'm partially transmale and demisexual, I'd date, or get married, to prove to my loved ones that I'm "normal" but after my religious parents passed away, I stopped trying. It takes over a year for me to feel sexual attraction to someone (demisexual) and otherwise I'm asexual (no sexual attraction for any gender), so zero motivation.
In fact, I ran off to teach in southern Thailand, where people are allowed to be single without being hassled or thought odd.
I do miss my former Navy pilot, airline pilot ex since we traveled the world, went camel trekking in Australia, camping in Tasmania, camping at the Grand Canyon, drove and rode our Walking Horses and camped outdoors year around. He gave me two hour foot rubs every night, dressed impeccably, we read books to each other, and he finished my housework whenever I turned my back for a moment. He also was a gender mix, although I didn't realize it at the time, who allowed me to express my male nature, which I hadn't suspected I had, before him.
I don't see how I can date now because..I have no idea who to date..men, women, a blend? I am strongly attracted to gender blends, like my ex, but my mixed gender ex was treacherous, manipulative, and dangerously jealous of anything that caught my attention other than him.
I can't behave as a female to live with a male, and I don't behave enough as a male to live with a female, as I resent their bossy ways.
My ex recently emailed me that he is going to transition to live as a female and wants to move to Thailand live with me, but I remembered how treacherous he was before and discouraged him doing that. Yet it seems to be the perfect solution if a person can actually change.
We are both 64 years, but have such a limited, organic diet, we don't act or look like it. Or maybe it's from being mixed gender.
