Strange dreams

[suzifrommd]

Some background: I'm two and a half years post-op, with no complications, though I was anorgasmic for two years which a little bit of T seems to have solved. My sexual interests are mostly lesbian (though if the right man came along...) but I haven't found anyone interested in me sexually.

Lately I've been having dreams where I still have my original organ. In those dreams, it's erect with the ability to have penetrative sex, and I'm relieved because I thought it was gone.

Anyone else have dreams like that?

In my waking life I fluctuate between generally happy to waxing ecstatic about my new body shape. I like the bottom I have now, so I'm at a loss for an explanation.

[Sophia Sage]

Do you feel dysphoric about such dreams when you wake up? 

I think such dreams happen simply because there's old body maps in the brain that can't be erased, and they get activated as part of the brain's regular housekeeping.

[Sephirah]

In my experience, dreams rarely literally mean what we consciously think they mean. It strikes me that the first sentence in your post seems like it could be relevant.

The brain uses association and relation with its imagery. I'm not sure your original organ was meant to mean your actual organ. But what it represented. Not in a physical sense, perhaps. Maybe your brain was just using that to represent your resurgence in the ability to orgasm, and maybe the feelings you have about that, using the only frame of reference it had. I'm not so sure it was to do with your relief that it was still there, in a literal sense.

I dunno, dreams are funny things. One time I dreamed I was a horse. I have no idea how. But in that dream it felt very real. I have no idea how I knew it felt real, it just did.

Sometimes... thank heaven we wake up, lol.

[Anna_81]

Yip, I've had them too!! (nearly 1 year post op now)
I was a little bit confussed by them at first, but then came to the conclusion that they seemed logical given the fact that I spent so many years as guy!! I've learnt not to let them bother me when I have them, which is'nt that often anyway.
I guess in someways, you could kinda relate to them to how people you know slip-up on the odd occasion and call you by your birth name. It sucks, but really you can't blame them because the've just gotten so used to saying it over the years, just like our brains have gotten so used to us having different parts down there. 
I'm guessing over time they will happen less and less.

[suzifrommd]

Thanks for the wonderfully helpful responses.

Yip, I've had them too!! (nearly 1 year post op now)

Thanks, that's a bit of a relief. The decision to get GRS was a long and drawn out one and even though I was sure I had made the best decision I could, I knew it was impossible ever really to know ahead of time whether it's right.

Do you feel dysphoric about such dreams when you wake up? 

A little. The feeling that what I was so happy about in the dream wasn't actually there can bring me down a bit, even if I'm largely happy about my body shape. All change is an adjustment and while I feel like i gained a lot, something was lost too.

In my experience, dreams rarely literally mean what we consciously think they mean.

Thanks you for that (and may I say it's wonderful getting your insight again. I hope you're generally well). I wonder if it has something to do with my utter failure in the dating sphere. It *was* a lot easier when I was a whole male and both I and my (straight) female dates knew what they wanted from me. Now that I'm a female dating queer women, the waters are a lot more murky and I'm not having an easy time feeling my way through.