I came out of the closet to my wife last night

[zamber74]

It was amazing, completely unlike what I thought it would be.  It is hard to eloquently express it in detail, especially having a hangover at this moment. 

I thought there would be pain, I thought there would be crying, and a host of negative emotions running the course of the night.  Instead I was met with the most tender of words, the kindest of emotion, and complete support.  I feel like I am dreaming right now, nothing ever seems to go this well in my life.  I was not expecting a divorce, but I swear there was not even a moment of silence, she just held on to me and comforted me.  She is there for me all of the way, and will remain to be. 

If anything she seemed really happy about it.  I don't even know what to say, I just am so happy..  We were up for five hours talking about it, and not once did she say anything cruel, not once did she try to stuff me back in the closet.

[Saira128]

Wow..that is great to hear. Good for you. That is a great deal of kindness and understanding on your wife's part.
    This shows the love she has for you, it would definitely have been hard for her to be so compassionate, to not even show even a little bit of reluctance.
     This is really great news. I hope I can use this inspiration in my journey of coming out.
    Congratulations. I think you have just cleared the hardest test there is.

[Megan.]

So very happy for you. X

[mac1]

It was amazing, completely unlike what I thought it would be.  It is hard to eloquently express it in detail, especially having a hangover at this moment. 

..............

If anything she seemed really happy about it.  I don't even know what to say, I just am so happy..  We were up for five hours talking about it, and not once did she say anything cruel, not once did she try to stuff me back in the closet.

Congratulations. It is great to hear of success stories like that.  I can't imagine my wife being so accepting and supportive.

[RachelH]

Congratulations.  I know how you feel and I am so glad she is understanding.  Mine was similar it sounds like when I told my wife of 20 years a few months ago.  A word of caution though, while you will be going though a very happy and emotional time, remember it is still new to her so she will support you but also have her ups and downs.  Stay positive and supportive of her too as it is a change for you both but congratulations again, it is a huge step!!
Paula

[Paige]

Congrats.  You're really lucky it turned out so well.  I'm very jealous.

All the best with your wife,
Paige

[Michelle_P]

That is a remarkable outcome.  It speaks very well to your wife, and both you and your relationship going forward.  I wish you all the best possible outcomes going forward!

[EyesOpen]

Awesome news! My wife was similarly supportive. I've always had trouble connecting emotionally with people, but since I've started working this stuff out, that has changed greatly, and she'd noticed. We realized that things could only get better as I continued opening up. She's a bit confused about what this means for her as she's never felt attracted to women, but she isn't hung up on it and it doesn't seem to be a major concern for her.

Not a day has past since I told her that I haven't felt extremely blessed and fortunate to have her. My heart goes out to those who weren't so lucky.

[zamber74]

Thanks everyone, this is moving a lot faster than I thought it would.  I did not expect to come out for a while, I just felt so guilty keeping it in.  This is really happening, after years and years of holding it back.  If I did not have such a massive hangover right now, I would be on cloud 9. 

[KathyLauren]

Forget the hangover; you should be on cloud nine!  Congratulations on coming out successfully, and congratulations on having married such an awesome wife!

I was similarly surprised at my wife's total support.  It's an amazing feeling, especially after the panic I felt working up the courage to tell her.

As others have said, be prepared to support her as she learns to deal with a totally new relationship.

[zamber74]

Another day, and things have not changed.  We are both unconventional people, I think that is what drew us together in the first place many years ago.  I did not think she would divorce me over this, but her unbridled acceptance is amazing.  We were talking last night, and she was more concerned that I was going to leave her, I told her not a chance. 

She has a BA in psychology, she has been in support of LGBT issues most of her life, so all of this she completely understands.  She really is an amazing person, I'm incredibly fortunate to have her.  I think she is happy about this, because I let her all the way into my psyche, I opened up to her and now she feels closer to me. 

Now, my parents and brothers, are gonna be a completely different story.  But I have time, I don't feel the guilt in keeping it secret to them as I did my wife, not to the point that it is tearing me apart.

[JoanneB]

I dropped the T-Bomb on my wife 7+ years ago and we're still together and she is more in love with me then ever. (btw I still live and present primarily as male) The key to our survival is having those oft times difficult discussions and being able not to let the raw unfiltered emotionality of it get in the way of the message.

Still to this day, as I still continue to grow as a person and learn just who me is, her great fear is that I will leave her for likely a guy, perhaps a trans-woman. TBH - 7 years ago ruling out a guy was easy. Been there, tried that some 40 years ago as part of my failed transition experiments. Today however, guys look a lot cuter then ever and can actually be arousing. Still, we both did agree to the yet unexercised "open marriage" clause. (her demand) Sex is sex... said she.

Yep, that aspect is in the "Oft times difficult" talk catagory

[zamber74]

I've always disliked not replying to everyone who replies to me on forums   Seeing how nice you all are, I got to at least offer thanks. 

Wow..that is great to hear. Good for you. That is a great deal of kindness and understanding on your wife's part.
    This shows the love she has for you, it would definitely have been hard for her to be so compassionate, to not even show even a little bit of reluctance.
     This is really great news. I hope I can use this inspiration in my journey of coming out.
    Congratulations. I think you have just cleared the hardest test there is.

I hope this is the hardest test, but I doubt it will be unfortunately.  There is so much left to do, and I am overwhelmed at the moment, but I am getting there   There will always be people out there that are understanding of other people's trials, I am not speaking from a TS perspective, as I have little experience, just a human one. 

So very happy for you. X

I'm happy for me too!!
/happy dance

Congratulations. It is great to hear of success stories like that.  I can't imagine my wife being so accepting and supportive.

I really hope she is, I've always been a weak person, she has always been there for me.  When we first met, I was facing homelessness having had just moved to Florida and she took me in.  It is a long story, but we were friends online before we met in real life. 

Congratulations.  I know how you feel and I am so glad she is understanding.  Mine was similar it sounds like when I told my wife of 20 years a few months ago.  A word of caution though, while you will be going though a very happy and emotional time, remember it is still new to her so she will support you but also have her ups and downs.  Stay positive and supportive of her too as it is a change for you both but congratulations again, it is a huge step!!
Paula

I tell you Paula, she is gun ho at the moment.  She's asking me to dress up for her birthday, I declined saying I needed to lose a bit of weight first    I'm honestly surprised, I'm taking it slow, she is sort of grabbing my hand and pulling me at the moment.

Congrats.  You're really lucky it turned out so well.  I'm very jealous.

All the best with your wife,
Paige

Thank you Paige, things like this do not happen often for me. 

That is a remarkable outcome.  It speaks very well to your wife, and both you and your relationship going forward.  I wish you all the best possible outcomes going forward!

Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it as well lol. 

Awesome news! My wife was similarly supportive. I've always had trouble connecting emotionally with people, but since I've started working this stuff out, that has changed greatly, and she'd noticed. We realized that things could only get better as I continued opening up. She's a bit confused about what this means for her as she's never felt attracted to women, but she isn't hung up on it and it doesn't seem to be a major concern for her.

Not a day has past since I told her that I haven't felt extremely blessed and fortunate to have her. My heart goes out to those who weren't so lucky.

That sounds exactly like me, I'm a very quiet individual, that does not get attached to others.  My wife actually commented on how she thinks this might be intertwined with that and I agree with her.  We went shopping yesterday on black Friday and I normally would have sat in the car, to fearful to be that close to people for so long, it was not so bad though this time around.  Time will tell how much of an impact this will have on me if I pursue it,  I think it would be funny if I became a social butterfly by the end of it all.

Forget the hangover; you should be on cloud nine!  Congratulations on coming out successfully, and congratulations on having married such an awesome wife!

I was similarly surprised at my wife's total support.  It's an amazing feeling, especially after the panic I felt working up the courage to tell her.

As others have said, be prepared to support her as she learns to deal with a totally new relationship.

Oh that hangover, it was brutal.  I swear, I did not even drink that much, but I had one of those cheap high abv drinks (I think it is called four loko)  phew, I can't handle drinking like I used to.  But hey!  It was worth it, I lowered my inhibitions enough to tell her .

I dropped the T-Bomb on my wife 7+ years ago and we're still together and she is more in love with me then ever. (btw I still live and present primarily as male) The key to our survival is having those oft times difficult discussions and being able not to let the raw unfiltered emotionality of it get in the way of the message.

Still to this day, as I still continue to grow as a person and learn just who me is, her great fear is that I will leave her for likely a guy, perhaps a trans-woman. TBH - 7 years ago ruling out a guy was easy. Been there, tried that some 40 years ago as part of my failed transition experiments. Today however, guys look a lot cuter then ever and can actually be arousing. Still, we both did agree to the yet unexercised "open marriage" clause. (her demand) Sex is sex... said she.

Yep, that aspect is in the "Oft times difficult" talk catagory

I'm happy for you   We both lucked out, I'm curious in the direction this will take our relationship.  We talked about sex last night, how it would work, without getting into detail it shouldn't be a problem.