Oddly, I lived in arguably one of the most out and proud queer capital cities in the world for over a year, when I was sorting out some of my SRS stuff. We like to think that the transgender population are all just one awesome rainbow family full of interesting, liberated, open-minded and accepting people, but that isn't the case in the real world, when you get
off the internet. I had much more opposition to me being genderqueer and bi/pansexual from the queer community than I did from the straight community. Most of which accusing me of "faking it" and not being a "real" transsexual.
I also realised that a staggering amount of transgender people have drug, alcohol, physical and mental health and other issues that impact greatly. I don't diss them for that - I've had my issues with the booze as well and
was probably one of those nightmarish transgender messes screwing up everyone else's optimistic view of the queer world at one time, too. But it makes me wary about getting involved with many queer people, because I'm not willing to be involved with someone who is in active addiction, and living that lifestyle. If they're in recovery sure, "party drugs" occasionally at clubs, I can deal with. But not if they want to perpetuate addiction.
I was also part of one of the biggest queer organisations in the state when I lived in the inner city, and some of those people were cool, but many of them weren't.
Funny enough a great majority of them were kids (as in, anyone under 30
) and pre-everything. I sort of became a go-to queer for transition information/mentoring rather than equal camaraderie, and wasn't greatly into that role. I don't know. Nothing clicked.
I certainly was not looking for a partner at the time, as I had (and have, as I said most of this is speculative at this point) too much to do in my own transition yet to be comfortable interacting in that way. I suppose it was just demoralising, putting some tentative feelers out there to see where things might go, and getting thwacked with all these (sometimes vehemently) negative views, creating the impression that I'd still be a leper, even in the LGBT+ world, for my queer gender and sexuality.
I'm not into social media at all so am not on things like tumblr, or even Facebook, where these sorts of debates go on. But the comments made did make me aware that others may be grouping me in with that crowd, the minute I said "pansexual" or "genderqueer." Which, incidentally, I don't usually say, preferring others to come to their own conclusions about me.
Thanks for the comments - I may try getting back at it with the queer world when I've sorted myself out a bit more physically, and maybe other crowds than the organisation I was with, and received many of my impressions from.
I'd just like some hopeful counterbalance to the overall theme I'm getting elsewhere - that compatibility with someone like me is possible, for someone somewhere, and I won't be viewed as a freak no one else wants to take on, etc etc.
