So, last month was really hard. I had decided to come out to my girlfriend/close friends during the summer but the time just never seemed right. I had planned on doing it at some point inn the spring after meeting my weight loss goals. At least that's the excuse I kept giving myself.
My girlfriend had been joking that she was the man in the relationship and that I was "the perfect girlfriend". For some reason this really got to me and I ended up in tears. I explained to her who I was and why I had been someone else for the past 6 years of our relationship. She confessed that she thought I was gay. Our physical relationship is strained by my dysphoria and she had assumed it was because I was gay.
I would like to say things have been ok but they haven't. Our relationship isn't just in the air, its made into orbit. She's broken up with me like 10 times, called me disgusting, stormed out of the house several times, and suggested we just be friends. Its always followed up by her apologizing and having a good day or two.
The worst was the other day. I've been known to do weird voices and impressions so its not that weird to catch me practicing my voice. She caught me and yelled at me that it was horrible and she didn't want to hear that voice coming out of her "boyfriend." Now I'm afraid to practice when she's home. She said its fine that other people are trans, but not me. She is ok with me "being that way" as long as I don't transition. She wished I was gay so she could just leave and not have to feel bad.
I don't know what to. Is it possible for her to get on board and what do I say?
Feeling confused,
Selena
