Personal sacrifices

[Hazumu]

I was afraid this'd happen.

A plum job I'd been hoping for in Japan has just been announced.  I'd laid the groundwork during a previous vacation to the area, meeting with the hiring supervisor and discussing the potential for getting hired into this position...

The job was just announced today, two days after I filled out and submitted my health history for evaluation for beginning an HRT diagnostic period. 

And the job announcement appears to be written to give me the best chance of being selected...

But now, my TS genie is out of the bottle, and they don't go back in very well, do they?

I'm going to submit my application.  If it's forwarded to the hiring supervisor, I'll call him and come clean on my being committed to transition, which means better than even odds he'll ask me to decline.  I can't bring myself to be dishonest by concealing my intentions.  And I can't be dishonest with myself after finally coming to terms with my desire/need to transition...

Besides, access to necessary transition support -- electro, therapist, endo/MD -- would have to be on the local economy, and I don't know where to start looking for these services, nor how hard to find them or how expensive they might be.  Kakureta nihon-jin ga imasu ka?  Watashi ni tasukete-kuremasen ka? (Are there any Japanese lurkers here? Could you help me out?)

Dang!  The things we sacrifice...  Does anybody else have experience dealing with transition issues within the guvvamint workforce?

Haz

P.S., Japanese for Transsexual is sei ten-kan sha -- "type/gender convert person"

[Sara]

Hazumu, Dont turn back, just tell them that you are going to be a great asset to their company. I wouldnt say anything about your private life unless they ask and if they do tell them that you are a TG and ask if they have a problem with that. You can do both you know.

Sara.

[HelenW]

Hazumu, if getting this job delays your transition, as you hinted it might, will you be able to wait?  How does the Japanese culture deal with transsexualism?  I know they are much more open regarding sex that our culture but TG issues can be very different, I would think.

This sounds like a real tough choice that you're going to have to make.  I keep telling myself all the time, about many different things in my life, that "if it's worthwhile, it's never easy."  That's one way I deal with having to make sacrifices.

I'm sure you'll figure it out,
h

[Dennis]

I'd suggest doing the research before turning the job down. I base this on no information whatsoever, but I'd suspect that Japan is more open-minded about this than the States. You're probably already in the country with the most restrictive views about gender reassignment.

Plus if you're in Japan, you're going to be different looking anyway, being North American, so it might be a really good place to transition.

Dennis

[stephanie_craxford]

Hey there Haz,

If you haven't already done so, please, before you make any decisions please read the Wiki article on this [found here.

Coming clean with your boss is obviously going to out you, whether that is your intention or not.  To add my two cents... How important is this job?  How important is this job to your transition? Is it your intention to transition regardless of your employment situation?

As you are probably well aware, Transition is one of the hardest issues you could probably face.  On top of that you will be starting a new job, in a new country where, at the moment, you have no idea where you are going to get the support you will need for your transition from medical to esthetics's.

Coming out at work places a huge burden on both yourself and the employer, one that the employer may not want to be encumbered with.  For myself I successfully came out at work, it took almost a year to set up and prepare for but it was and remains successful.

Do you, have you set up a time line for your transition, have you in fact made plans or have a plan for your transition?  If you get this job, can it become a part of a future transition once you have settled in and given yourself time to assimilate new new surroundings.  I think you have a number of choices to make here with regards to coming out at work (All are very risky depending on the relationship between yourself and your employer):

1. Do nothing maintain the status quo come out and transition at present job- Risky
2. Come out when you apply for the new job - Risk of loosing both jobs
3. Apply for, and get new job, then come out - Very risky could be stranded in foreign country without means of support.

You should have a time line regardless, this way you can determine if you have to transition now or can you wait a couple of years to start.  Remember that coming out at work is only a part of your transition, the important issue to realise is that:

One of the key elements to a successful transition and a requirement of the real life test is being able to work in the desired gender. Unless a person is wealthy the financial burden imposed by transition can be staggering and the need to maintain steady employment is vital.

Hmmmmm... Maybe that was five cents...

Points to ponder.

Steph

[Hazumu]

Yikes!  I opened a can of worms!  Quick!  Someone hand me a much bigger can!!  I wanted to point out that in transitioning (as in many other areas of life,) we often have to compromise or give up something to get something else.

Basically, I've thought about it and, as much as I have wanted that job for the past 3 years, if the choice comes down to getting the job transitioning, I'll transition and live with the regrets.  Of course, I can always hope to be able to do both...

Here's my plan:

If the computer forwards my resume/application to the hiring supervisor, I'll call him (or he'll call me).  Under HIPAA and other privacy rules I'll discuss my situation as it pertains to that position (maybe this is 'shooting myself in the foot', but I feel it's morally wrong not to be upfront about it with the hiring manager.)  The HIPAA and other privacy rules will provide me a legal hammer should he divulge to others my TS status.  (I can try to get the guvvamint to pay for my transition ;-)

If he say's 'no problem, it's all about job performance', I'll tell him I'll accept the job if offered (yeah, I know the news could make another candidate look more desirable.  See my comment on my morals, above.)  If I DO actually get the job, I'll need to resolve those support issues Stephanie mentioned.  The biggest barrier to overcome will be my poor language skills.  And there will be about a six-month lag between being told "You're hired", so I'll be able to proceed a bit on transition before reporting (another reason for coming clean initially -- no shock-ey surprises when I do report for work...)

If he gets cold feet, then I probably didn't want that job anyway, transition or not.  I can always try again in three years after pretty much completing transition (with a whole new name and SSN, etc.)  And I can always visit Tokyo in the meantime.

As to a timeline -- Yes, I have a timeline in mind.  There are events, but no hard-and-fast dates.  I just turned in the health history for evaluation for HRT.  I still have to get initial labs done, so it could take me anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months to actually get the meds in hand and begin taking them.  The start of HRT is one event, and starts a clock ticking.  Basically, it seems a good idea to have GRS happen 18 months to 2 years after beginning HRT, due to the shrinkage of the raw materials for GRS.

The government workforce (at least in the U.S.,) has rules in place for transsexuals.  At the place I work I've heard of three others who transitioned while working there -- 2 MtFs and one FtM -- so I'll be number four.  At the appropriate time, I'll meet with the head of HR and (again under HIPAA and other privacy rules,) come up with a workable plan for coming out.

BTW, I think my immediate supervisor already suspects what I'm doing, but if so he has had the grace and dignity not to mention it.  I think I may be able to approach him unofficially with this and get his help and support.

To sum up, I have a plan for transition, but in some areas it's not yet detailed.  I will work those out as those milestones become closer, but I'm aware the milestones are out there and have been thinking about them.

Dennis, You're right about Japan being more tolerant about differently-gendered people.  There are a couple of crosdressing males who make the rounds of the chat shows.  And there appears to be very little homophobia compared to the west.  There were three of four japanese women I saw on the last trip who might have been TS women (tallness, body shape and facial features were more indicative of average Japanese males than average Japanese females.)  Plus there are many more other-gendered characters in the TV shows (anime, especially) compared to western programs.  One example, of course, is the character I took my forum nickname from -- an effeminate boy who's transformed into a girl by a space alien.
http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/anime/anitele_m/  Here's a 30-second trailer for the anime series, btw.  Click on the lower-left-hand box.

Sara, Helen, Don't worry, I'll make the decision that's right for me.  Thank you both for your advice and encouragement!

Haz