It's the little things

[zamber74]

I feel really awkward saying this, but I was just in the bath earlier, staring at my feet which still had hair on them.  I decided I would correct that problem, started to shave them, and it was such a huge relief.  I don't even know why I am posting this here, I hope for validation - because I don't think many people in this world could relate to that.  I started to shave my ankles, just to about where my socks reach up on them, decided to stop.  Seeing my feet with no hair on them, just felt right, it's not much - but it is enough to lift my spirit a bit.

It has been a long time, since I have seen my feet with no hair on them.  Not a huge accomplishment by any measure, probably really trivial to a lot of people, but I'm going slow with this.  I do not want to try to make drastic changes in a few weeks, feel outrageous when I do not see what I want to see, and then give up.  I've done that in the past, I really want it to work this time around.  If I could just instantly transform my body to please me, I would do it in a heart beat.  I know that is not possible, instead I think I will just make small changes, get used to them, and make more as time progresses.


God I need therapy lol.  I don't really have anyone to talk to that knows what I am going through, it is nice to have this forum here.  Thanks Susan and all for reading this.

[Amanda_Combs]

I did exactly the same thing.  I started with the knee; I thought it wouldn't be noticeable.  I just wanted to feel my own skin without all of this stuff covering it.  I just couldn't get the thought out of my head.  Then I began to shave the whole leg, and then many other things. 
My advice to you is to try and avoid having too specific expectations.  Things like this you are doing for yourself, and to be yourself.  Personally, that's what I'm always doing, looking for the improvement in myself.  Something isn't how I like it?  I'll improve it.  I'm sure most of us here know what you're describing very well.  Just don't get discouraged. There is always room to be happier with yourself, so just focus on the next thing and the next, because you deserve to be happy with yourself!  [emoji1][emoji170]


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[Michelle_P]

Therapy will help.  It gives you some guidance and helps clarify thinking on these sort of issues.

It certainly sounds like you have dysphoria in relation to your body hair.  That's a pretty common issue.  Lots of these little things all add up to make us uncomfortable in our own skins. Small changes is probably the best way to handle this, clearing up each small issue once we realize exactly what little things are bothering us and contributing to that nasty sense of "something's wrong with me".

Believe me, many others here are going through or have gone through the same thing.

[Nora Kayte]

Yup. One of my main triggers. And let me tell you when it's all gone. Nothing beats it. Gonna be starting electrolysis 1st of the year. It really got to me though and had to get it gone now. So last week I opted for a full body sugaring. Including a Brazilian! Ouch!! Just like waxing but not as painful. Lol. With pain like that I would hate to feel waxing.

[Rachel]

I agree, seeing a good gender therapist can help you decide what you need to do.

[Sno]

Yes indeed, the little things are critical.  I remember the first time I shaved my hands (now a regular fixture), and the realisation that they looked pretty , just wait until you try nail polish too ... [squeee]


Every step taken allows us to learn about ourselves, and therapists help with the journey

Sno

[Denise]

just wait until you try nail polish too

Nail polish is something to not take lightly.  BE CAREFUL.  It does not come off easily.  I typically put on an under layer of clear that I "spill" onto the cudicals (sp) so if I get color too close to the skin it doesn't stain it.  Also taking it off is easier.

For me polish on the hands is the best!  It almost, but not quite, out shines my growing girls.
BTW one thing a therapist did for me was to validate my self-diagnosis.  In fact I've seen one counselor, one therapist and one MD who treats hundreds of Trans* patients and each of them said "classic case" which helps me to explain the WHY portion when I come out to people.  It's a medical thing, not a choice. 

[staciM]

^ funny about nail polish....because I've been hiding my true self for so long, applying and removing several nights/week for years....at this point I can probably do it in the dark while on a treadmill....obviously kidding but I've had LOTS of practice .   Also, "Good" polish makes a big difference to making the surface streak free.

[josie76]

I am also putting on and taking off my polish several days a week. I love the clear and the flesh tone with metallic sparkle in it. Either almost look like it's not there but both have such a good shine. Use the 4 sided nail smoothing blocks first to take the ridges off and the finish is almost as good as a professional gel coat!

Back in high school I sometimes shaved my upper legs where I could keep them hidden in either shorts or pants. I'm finally at a point in life where I keep almost every part of me shaved off. Lol 

[Amanda_Combs]

^ funny about nail polish....because I've been hiding my true self for so long, applying and removing several nights/week for years....at this point I can probably do it in the dark while on a treadmill....obviously kidding but I've had LOTS of practice .   Also, "Good" polish makes a big difference to making the surface streak free.

Oh! I had an interesting development with nail polish recently!  I got forgetful one morning about a week ago.  I was at work and removed my gloves, realizing that all my nails were black.  I usually take it off before work so I don't have to explain it.  But I was in a hurry and forgot it.  I was terrified for a bit, and genuinely thought that it may be the day I come out to a tonne of people.

As the day goes on, no one comments and eventually it clicks.  They see my long hair, knee high boots, all black clothing, and now black nail polish, and it just doesn't seem weird that a "guy" like me would dress that way. They probably don't connect it to my gender at all!   lol  It's been a big relief and I've just kept it on ever since.  To make this story relevant to this topic.  It's super nice when you discover the things you can "get away with".  and even better when you can straight up tell people the truth.  And in regards to being your genuine self, I wish you all the very best!

[Anne Blake]

Shaving my legs has been a big thing for me for several years now. I began to shave them before I realized that I had any gender identity disconnect. Bicycle riding was big for me so shaving worked and I have never been asked about them, no big deal. Since I found Anne in my life, I still shave, don't ride quite so much and still have never been asked about the legs....no big deal. If you can get by the fears, give it a try, you will love it! - Anne

[Korra-]

I feel really awkward saying this, but I was just in the bath earlier, staring at my feet which still had hair on them.  I decided I would correct that problem, started to shave them, and it was such a huge relief.  I don't even know why I am posting this here, I hope for validation - because I don't think many people in this world could relate to that.  I started to shave my ankles, just to about where my socks reach up on them, decided to stop.  Seeing my feet with no hair on them, just felt right, it's not much - but it is enough to lift my spirit a bit.

It has been a long time, since I have seen my feet with no hair on them.  Not a huge accomplishment by any measure, probably really trivial to a lot of people, but I'm going slow with this.  I do not want to try to make drastic changes in a few weeks, feel outrageous when I do not see what I want to see, and then give up.  I've done that in the past, I really want it to work this time around.  If I could just instantly transform my body to please me, I would do it in a heart beat.  I know that is not possible, instead I think I will just make small changes, get used to them, and make more as time progresses.


God I need therapy lol.  I don't really have anyone to talk to that knows what I am going through, it is nice to have this forum here.  Thanks Susan and all for reading this.

That doesn't seem as strange as you think. Take all the time you need there's no rush into this.  I remember back when I was 22 I tried to rush into transition without thinking it all the way through and ended up stopping and repressing until I was 26. x.x So what you're going through is really relatable. It was a huge huge deal for me to go out dressed as a girl when I first started presenting female the first few times.

[zamber74]

Thanks all I just proceeded to shave all of the hair off my legs, well most of it.  There are small patches here and there,  I'm not good at this at all, I got most of it though.  It almost seems like I shaved the tan off my legs as well. They are a lot lighter than I thought they would be.  Does HRT make it any easier?

Has anyone had any luck with Nair? 

[Dena]

I wouldn't play with Nair but others might know more about it. I had to shave twice a week before testosterone was reduced but now I can go about a week and a half without shaving. I think you will find the first time you shave is the most difficult.  Once you are working with shorter hair, shaving becomes easer.

[Korra-]

Thanks all I just proceeded to shave all of the hair off my legs, well most of it.  There are small patches here and there,  I'm not good at this at all, I got most of it though.  It almost seems like I shaved the tan off my legs as well. They are a lot lighter than I thought they would be.  Does HRT make it any easier?

Has anyone had any luck with Nair?

from my experience by hair regrows slower and comes back thinner than before. practice practice practice way back when I was a teenager shaving my legs was an ordeal but it does get easier every time you do it. just be careful not to cut yourself :p

[Amanda_Combs]

Thanks all I just proceeded to shave all of the hair off my legs, well most of it.  There are small patches here and there,  I'm not good at this at all, I got most of it though.  It almost seems like I shaved the tan off my legs as well. They are a lot lighter than I thought they would be.  Does HRT make it any easier?

Has anyone had any luck with Nair?

It's not just HRT that makes it easier.  If you moisturize your skin enough that will make a big difference too.

[Nora Kayte]

Hmmm, nail polish. I have been getting my nails done at a salon before I started to transition. It is the very first thing I did. If anybody is interested I have the colors for a GEL French manicure and pedicure that every time I would go to a different nail salon after I moved (looking for that perfect one) that even the manicurist could not tell that they were gel. You need a good pink that matches the nail bed. And an off white that matches the white of your nails and to make them perfectly undetectable a matte top coat. It the matte top coat that brings them all together. And not just any matte. Some still look shiny. Just message me if you need the colors.