My parents just won't get with the program

[Blackwaters427]

My parents just won't let up about trying to get me to not transition. It's extremely annoying! The thing that really got me mad today was that I told my 4 1/2 year old son that my name isn't Andrew anymore and that it's now Stephanie (which he pronounces "seventy" lol). I posted the conversation on facebook and my parents sent me texts saying it's "horrifying" that I would tell my son that and insinuated that I'm abusing him by transitioning... UGH!!

Just last week, my mom sent me a link to a book on Amazon about how transitioning medicines aren't actually real and how doctors get kickbacks for giving people placebo hormones... And she expected me to use MY money to read it. HA!

A couple weeks ago, my mom blamed dysphoria on vaccines...

Now, here's the thing. I KNOW my mother is a smart woman. She's a journalist and recently interviewed Bobby Kennedy and has even been quoted in the NY Times a couple of times. Shes well known in the Autism parent community, and she's very professional. She's not a stupid person. So why is she buying into all this ludicrous transphobic conspiracy nonsense? I just don't understand it.

[Kylo]

I have the same problem, sort of. My mother is a scientist and thinks I'm just being an attention whore by transitioning. It's not lack of rationality because it's her job to be rational. It's pure disdain for me.

As to where it comes from... I know my mother never did like to have to think that I'm a human being with feelings, and she has no empathy. She's even told me she lacks it.

Maybe yours is just surrounded by these theories because of her job and has taken them to heart. It seems that no matter how "accepting" some parents claim they are or will be, they just won't accept their child being one of them. And that's just prejudice, I suppose.

[Blackwaters427]

I have the same problem, sort of. My mother is a scientist and thinks I'm just being an attention whore by transitioning. It's not lack of rationality because it's her job to be rational. It's pure disdain for me.

As to where it comes from... I know my mother never did like to have to think that I'm a human being with feelings, and she has no empathy. She's even told me she lacks it.

Maybe yours is just surrounded by these theories because of her job and has taken them to heart. It seems that no matter how "accepting" some parents claim they are or will be, they just won't accept their child being one of them. And that's just prejudice, I suppose.

Wow I didn't know Princess Leia was against you transitioning. No wonder you turned to the dark side! Just kidding. But in all seriousness, I'm sorry you're going through all that. I don't think my mother has any empathy either. All she really cares about is her reputation among her precious autism community. and she's even accused me of transitioning because I supposedly think it's whats "cool" right now. Riiiight.

[Kylo]

Wow I didn't know Princess Leia was against you transitioning. No wonder you turned to the dark side!

I get to wear lots of black, at least.

But in all seriousness, I'm sorry you're going through all that. I don't think my mother has any empathy either. All she really cares about is her reputation among her precious autism community. and she's even accused me of transitioning because I supposedly think it's whats "cool" right now. Riiiight.

I'm over what they're doing/have done. But it strikes me as similar as what you described. Maybe career parents are like this. Maybe they don't have time for things that fall outside their experience. My parents think the same thing - I told them 2 years before Caitlyn Jenner was a household name for transition, but mother decided all the same it was an attention-seeking thing or a fashion statement after hearing about Jenner. It's such a poor excuse it's almost like a bad joke to hear it coming from her. Her who could read the studies on transsexualism if she wanted because she reads the sci journals every other week.

Would they really believe everything the media says...is the Jenner thing really so influential as to make people think we're all copying it? Either that or they are using it as an excuse never to confront the truth - that they might have been a bad parent?

[Ms Grace]

It's not uncommon for parents to pull out all stops to prevent or otherwise derail a transition. Whether through ignorance, fear, denial, anger, bigotry or a mix of all, some will be quite shameless in their actions.

It's one of the reasons why I didn't tell my folks until the very week before I went full time...I figured if I told them any earlier they would see it as an opportunity to talk me out of it. My mother, despite initial massive reservations and fears has been very supportive, my father is able to tolerate me but isn't accepting.

It's a lot for parents to take in. Sometimes you just have to give them time to work through it themselves. It would be awesome if they jumped on board from the start but judging by the many, many posts I've seen on this forum over the years that is sadly rarely the case. But many do come around eventually too.