Her story.

[Jasmine777]

I saw someone else post about this and looked it up on YouTube.  I watched all six episodes in one night.  I'm trying to get my wife to watch it as I think it may help clear the muddy water she sees through right now.  I have an appointment tomorrow which she asks if I am getting shots.  The appt is for my teeth.  What she doesn't know is that my endo started me on spiritual and estrogen. 


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[josie76]

Please find some way to tell your wife. At least come to an adult understanding of what your relationship is or what you each want. She is going to see your starting hormones without her knowledge as being deceitful. Also remember that she still thinks of you as she does a man so she likely still has trouble understanding you have had feelings buried inside. Women often only think they want a man who shows emotion but really don't know how to deal with the situation when it happens.
My therapist brought that up when we were talking about my marriage. Many couples sessions the wife says she wants her guy to show feelings but when in therapy he finally breaks down the wife almost always tries to shh him and get him to stop crying. Strange isn't it.

[LizK]

I saw someone else post about this and looked it up on YouTube.  I watched all six episodes in one night.  I'm trying to get my wife to watch it as I think it may help clear the muddy water she sees through right now.  I have an appointment tomorrow which she asks if I am getting shots.  The appt is for my teeth.  What she doesn't know is that my endo started me on spiritual and estrogen. 


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Hi Jasmine

I watched the first couple of episodes and I enjoyed them. So your wife understands that you are trans but does not know you are already on HRT. It is not gong to be too long before things start to change for you...you will quickly lose the ability to have and keep any kind of erection especially once you are on a full transitional dose...your breasts will become sore and nipples will enlarge...breast growth could be a bit of a give away.

I have been married for over 30 years and the only thing that has kept us together through this, is honesty...

I hope you can work it out
Hugs
Liz

[stephaniec]

honesty  is always best

[Jasmine777]

It's only been a few days and I'm not sure how to tell her more.  I guess I just need to accept the fact that she may walk away even if she says she won't. 


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[Jasmine777]

I know.  I have been honest up to this point.  I'm just not sure how to tell her I started because I know she is sooo against it. 


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[KathyLauren]

I guess I just need to accept the fact that she may walk away

That is a risk we all just have to accept when we come out to our spouses. 

I'm just not sure how to tell her I started because I know she is sooo against it. 

Unfortunately, that is two strikes against you: doing something against her wishes and not telling her about it.  The not telling part will hurt her more than the doing part.  The longer you don't tell, the worse it will be when she finds out.  Find some way to tell her sooner rather than later.  It won't be pretty, but it's got to be done.

[Jasmine777]

I know.  I'm already out.   


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[LizK]

I know.  I'm already out.   


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Hi Jasmine

have you considered if you would you really rather be without a partner?...just at the moment, while you sort this stuff out for yourself?...the actions you have taken seem to be in direct conflict with what you have said your wife is comfortable with. She may feel you have sent her a message with your actions...especially with the HRT.

I hope you are able to communicate with her about this.

Liz

[Jasmine777]

I'm trying but she doesn't want to talk. 


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[Jasmine777]

So far so good.  Sorry I've been so silent the past couple days.  I've been visiting family.  Trying to figure the best way to come out to my wife's side.  It may be a bit. 


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[Selenakyle]

I urge you to tell your partner about the HRT ASAP. If my partner started on HRT without telling me, I would be so hurt that I wasn't included in their journey. It's better to tell the truth and give her time to get used to it than Abe her potentially stumble upon the knowledge that you're taking it without telling her. And as someone who stumbled upon the fact that their partner was trans before their partner could come out to them, I will tell you the chance of them finding out on their own is high.

[LShipley]

Judging by all the tv shows I've ever seen, not telling that you started has a higher chance of separating you than just telling her.

I'd feel the same way myself....

Trust is way harder to fix once it's been broken.