Should I go in?

[Terra]

Hey all,

I'm really sorry, seems everytime I post its to complain about my troubles. Afraid this time is no different. I was supposed to meet the military shrink last thursday, but she suddenly had a meeting to go to, and resceduled me. Under normal circumstances I would be fine with this, but lately...

I just feel so tired lately, like I have no spark. I slept most of this previous weekend, and my dreams were...troubled. Maybe its the nightshift getting to me, but I feel so dark lately, dark and confused and full of self doubt. I'm not suicidal, but the thoughts are there, they always have been since I was a kid. Lately they just seem to get crowded up in my head.

I'm just wondering if maybe I should make another trip to the emergency room. If I do, this time they could keep me overnight, and that could lead to some serious complications. As I said, I am not suicidal, but am probably depressed.

As usual, tell me what you think. :-[

[Kimberly]

I have a decent distrust of people who can take my freedom away from me, as such I do not think I would. This, however, does not mean what I would do is the smart thing to do.

Regardless, you might try distracting yourself, play a game or some such on the computer perhaps.

^*nudge* smile girl, there is a lot to live for. We have to fight for it, but such is as life is.

[Peggiann]

Launa Dear,

If you can make it through the night then by all means do that so as not to have the other complications you for see by going to the emergancy room.

IF YOU NEED TO I COULD MEET YOU IN THE CHAT AND WE"LL DO THE NIGHT TOGETHER. THAT WAY YOU DON"T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING ALONE. Or you could call on some of the freinds you met at your support group and share the night with them so you'll feel more safe.

Just Post me back here what you'ld like I'll be watching for you.
Or PM me either way. I'm here for you Dear Lady.

I am praying for your safe passage through this night.

Then in the morning call the military shrink . Tell them you need to be seen right away tell them of your concerns and that you all most went to the emergancy room over your feelings. Hopefully they will get you in.

Smiles,
Peggiann

[Cassandra]

Hey Luana,

Having been in the military I know what a heavy deal it can be especially when your dealing with TS issues as well. I can remember too many nights when I really just wanted to chuck it all. One night when I was stationed in Germany I took an overdose of Qualude. What the Germans call mandrake. Kind of ironic. My friends however kept me up and moving all night and kept me out of the hands of the military doctors and shrinks. Hence I am alive today to talk about it. In retrospect I'm glad they did. It was so stupid, but I just got so depressed and it seemed like there was no end in sight even though at the time I only had 8 months left on my service.

I didn't then and I don't today trust military doctors in any size shape or form so if you can manage to stay out of their hands and get thru this you will be better off. I know it is difficult and I can relate to your circumstance. We're here for you hon and anything you want to talk about that might help you, you just go ahead and post away.

Big Hugs,

Cassie

[Terra]

I think that...I won't go in...tonight.

But I do think I need help, or I might. So tomarrow I will contact the shrink and talk to them. Thanks for the support all.

[Peggiann]

Great glad to hear you are going to tough it out through the night.
I Personal Messaged you. Please look at it.

Smiles Lady,
Peggiann

[Cassandra]

Anytime Luana,

If you feel the need just get online and vent or write whatever you need. You know there is always someone here and on the few occaisons no one is around someone is usually along shortly. Just the same writing stuff down can help even if there is no one around to respond right away. Hang in there sweetie. 

Cassie

[Peggiann]

Good morning Launa,

Hope your night went better. Just checking on ya Dear. It's great when morning comes and we get a clean fresh slate. Enjot your day.

Smiles,
Peggiann

[Peggiann]

Launa,

Haven't heard from you. Juct checking how your day went yesterday?
Hope you were able to get in to see your therapist.

Smiles,
Peggiannn

[unicorn]

Hey Luana,
how are you now? did you get help?  I wish you all the best. Do find someone to talk to, or talk to us here all night long if you want.

I've had depressed friends from abroad on the phone literally all night to talk them thru it. That particular friend ran the risk of her parents getting her comitted for a very long time if she went to the e.r.  If you need to chat, PM me. With the time difference it may be helpful to you to know you can chat w someone who is awake, (though I cant guarantee I'll be home, msg anyway) about whatever.



Alex

[Terra]

I'm back, sorry for the delay.

Well alot has happened in the last week, turns out the next morning I got a call from the office, they wanted to meet with me because they had just got a opening. So the next day I got to meet the new shrink.

The meeting was, interesting. My shrink was again a woman who had really only heard of this, but was interested in what I had to say. As the session went on she said it was obvious I had put some thought into this. She also said she understood this wasn't some sort of scam to leave the navy. She told me that all the guilt I have for leaving was unfounded, the fact that I even care shows her that I have integrity. I still feel guilt, but having someone say that i'm being an idiot over it helps.

So then it came to the big decision, stay or go? In the end, I chose go. She said she would meet with my other shrink and figure out a plan, hopefully a worthwile one.

This isn't the end of the road, if anything things are just getting started, but I have a little more hope for tomarrow.

Thanks for caring. ^^

[Dennis]

I'm glad you reposted, Luana. Got a little worried there.

Dennis

[melissa_girl]

Sounds like things are starting to move for you.  I'm very happy that you now have somebody that is on your side.  So, once your out of the navy and you can get back on your feet, you can really start your transition going.

Melissa

[Cassandra]

Glad to here from you Luana, I was getting a little worried too. Sounds like things are getting really ship shape. (Sorry, I just had to say that)  >

Cassie

[Peggiann]

I'm happy to hear from you again.

Glad you were able to get in and to hear you have made some progress in a direction yuor are choosing.

Keep in tough and try not to leave us hang ing so long.

Smiles,
Peggiann

[Kimberly]

I am very happy to hear from you Luana, and I am glad that things sound as though they are improving for you

You are certainly right, I think, when you said you were just getting started. Hang in there!

[stephanie_craxford]

I'm back, sorry for the delay.

Well alot has happened in the last week, turns out the next morning I got a call from the office, they wanted to meet with me because they had just got a opening. So the next day I got to meet the new shrink.

The meeting was, interesting. My shrink was again a woman who had really only heard of this, but was interested in what I had to say. As the session went on she said it was obvious I had put some thought into this. She also said she understood this wasn't some sort of scam to leave the navy. She told me that all the guilt I have for leaving was unfounded, the fact that I even care shows her that I have integrity. I still feel guilt, but having someone say that i'm being an idiot over it helps.

So then it came to the big decision, stay or go? In the end, I chose go. She said she would meet with my other shrink and figure out a plan, hopefully a worthwile one.

This isn't the end of the road, if anything things are just getting started, but I have a little more hope for tomarrow.

Thanks for caring. ^^

Great news Luana.

Allies at last, and it seems you have found a good one in the new pshrink.  Keep her close.  Personally I'm glad that you have chosen to go.  I would never have urged you to end a career, but I think that you have made the right decission.  Having served myself and suffered through the anguish and anxieties, I commend you for taking charge of Your life.  And you are quite right, this is by no means the end, but the start.

Steph