Sperm storage

[Alora]

Hey ladies,

Ok... so I'm stuck in a bit of a quandary. I got really exciting news today. The clinic I got to for regular "stuff" has a doctor that does informed consent in regards to starting HRT. Super exciting! I did my blood work today. I have my follow up appointment on the 11 (doc is super busy being the medical director and all) to go over blood work and start hormones.

The dilemma that I'm facing is this... do I store sperm or not. I'm 35, never married, I've only had a handful of serious relationships, I really want kids but have none. I contacted a local sperm bank and the cost to store sperm for 10years is over 5k. What do I do?

Did anyone else save sperm sample in the hopes of later finding a surrogate mother or (for those that identify as lesbian) have their cis-female partner carry their child to term? I really want a "biological" child of my own but I can't afford the fee and I can't put my transition on hold either.

I'm so lost in mixed emotions right now [emoji17]

Loves [emoji182]❤️[emoji182]


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[Dena]

Ask if it's possible to pay a setup fee and a yearly maintenance fee. That way all the money doesn't have to be paid at once. Storing sperm was something I was asked to consider and I decided against it because it was unlikely I would find surrogate. Times have changed and they are more plentiful today so what would have been nearly impossible for me is possible now. You might also consider adoption as an alternative but the decision is yours.

[Alora]

Ask if it's possible to pay a setup fee and a yearly maintenance fee. That way all the money doesn't have to be paid at once. Storing sperm was something I was asked to consider and I decided against it because it was unlikely I would find surrogate. Times have changed and they are more plentiful today so what would have been nearly impossible for me is possible now. You might also consider adoption as an alternative but the decision is yours.

Adoption is definitely something I have been considering over the last few weeks in particular. I really want the experience of breastfeeding I'd love to adopt a newborn.


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[DuchessBianca]

My doctor handed me a flyer for it when discussing things a month before he was ready to prescribe HRT and as much as I would love to have a child genetically related to me the cost of it was way too insane, kinda useless if I ever date a guy, and just the thought of my unwanted male chromosomes, something sadly none of us can change, being half the makeup of the child is something I could probably never be happy with. Wouldn't matter legally that I'm female, that I'd be a mother, I'd know that down to technical/scientific terms an unwanted part of me that's male I can't change would forever be linked to the child and I have depression just thinking about though >_< At 7 months HRT now so I'm probably sterile anyway.

[Harley Quinn]

I would say do it. Unfortunate, but the truth, Transition is very expensive. It's enough to buy you a house in some cases. Can you put a price on your own happiness? Well doctors sure can...  There's also a good chance that your significant other down the road will have kids already. So, it is another possibility down the road...

I would work a budget and work in stages if you're hell bent on going all the way with it. Although hormones, and surgical procedures are tempting, it's best to do your "prep work" before you start. I.e... Sperm banking. There are several "road maps" listed here. I made mine by taking a look at what is most important to me and weighing in the length of time that it takes to see results. 

[Angela Drakken]

I discussed this with my gf. I had no intention of going that route, but I wouldve for her sake. Thankfully shes of my mindset in not ever wanting children.

[Sophia Sage]

I wouldn't. 

It's a lot of money better spent on other aspects of transition.  And you may find as you get deeper into this that preserving such a higher gendered aspect of your former self seems more and more incongruous with your true identity. 

Let it go.

[Janes Groove]

I went thru the same dilemma.  And for me it was actually an impediment that was blocking my transition.  I mean I know I'll never have kids. I don't even want them. But I have read that HRT affects people differently and YMMV.  I've heard of people who didn't want to be a father pre-HRT,  but after some time or some series of events felt a real need to be a mother after being on HRT for some time.  I've been on HRT for 7 months now and that never really happened tho.  But I couldn't let go of the possibility. Just on a theoretical level. And that's really where all decision making lives, right?  Maybe it was the Biblical indoctrination to "be fruitful and multiply" that was too deeply embedded in my mind since childhood that I just couldn't overcome.  I just couldn't let it go, and it was interfering with me moving forward with my transition.  Also, the thought of adoption as a transgender person in future seemed problematic at best. So I decided to just bite the bullet and go for it.  But then at the cryo bank they did a test and discovered that I was completely sterile.  I wasn't always that way. I know that for a fact.  Strangely tho the news that I was sterile didn't bother me in the least.  Funny how that works out. 

In the end, I ended up saving approximately 7k US dollars plus the yearly storage fees of another couple hundred per year too, which is what they charge around here.

[Alora]

Thanks everyone for your input. I have some decisions to make over the next two weeks.

I am thinking I might start with getting a sperm count and see if I'm even fertile.

Has anyone ever used a home kit similar to a pregnancy test?


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[Dena]

I am not sure a home kit is even possible. Sperm have such a short life span and there isn't a way you could get the sample to the lab in time for them to do a mobility test on them. As important as this is, it's something best discussed with your doctor.