Had the craziest conversation with my bestie

[Harley Quinn]

So I just had the craziest conversation with my bestie, who actually gave me my name, and one of my best friends in the Army.  I was named the godmother to their daughter, and she's a major cutie pie.  I don't know if it was the hormones or what, but she was just so adorable! I feel like I am pestoring that poor kid...   As much as I am proud to be the godmother, it was a little sad knowing that I'd more than likely end up adopting.  The next thing you know... we got on the topic of me.  How I have kept putting off bottom surgery because at some point I may meet someone that wants my mini-me.  And out of the blue, she brought up being my serrogate. Talk about being put on the spot... No more what if'ing... Its been put on the table. Very surprised and the fact that he was ok with it had me completely floored. She does make some cute babies.  The stipulation is that they get to play the spoiling aunt and uncle.  Just WOW!!!  I had to take a breather on that one... what a life changer. Going to be quite the decision process. A year as a woman and already considering being a mommy. Definetly going to take a while to think through this process.  I know my mom would love to have another grand kid. 

Anyway, just wanted to share... She made me very very happy. What a way to end the year...   

[LordKAT]

It is definitely a life changing decision. If you think you want to go that route, make sure you involve a lawyer. I know someone who has a few of her own children and has done several surrogate pregnancies.

[Harley Quinn]

Yeah, seriously a huge desicion.  The bigger question would be how would that change our relationship? She and I have been friends for quite a few years, then what does it become? Just a lot of serious questions... Having never really thought about having kids of my own, it truly did catch me quite off guard...

[LordKAT]

I'll bet it did. You are looking at the right questions. The change in relationship is one, If you have a falling out with your bestie, what happens to the child is another. Some surrogates have a real hard time letting go.

[Harley Quinn]

Definetly not a quick decision...  And now my best friend and I share credit for a baby, and the baby has half siblings, and how/when you would fill the kid in. Then if you move... how would the dynamic work?  How long would the baby need to stay with it's natal mom, etc... Sure makes a romantic notion into a mind scrambler.

[LordKAT]

IF the hospital know the plan, the baby is taken from birth mother within  minutes. This is to prevent that bonding that takes place right away. It is a good reason to be there at the birth so the baby can bond with you instead. As to what to tell the child and when, that is pretty much up to you on what you want them to know. Some kids have many aunts and uncles even though few are by blood.  Letting them know who their birth mother is, is a private decision, yours.

[Anne Blake]

Harley, Yes it is a big decision, one that you will need to wrestle with from so many directions. It must also be such an affirmation of both your relationship and of who you have become. Yes, wrestle but also celebrate that kind of friendship in your life.

btw, I love your new picture.

Anne

[Harley Quinn]

Thanks! I try... 

[Michelle_P]

Wow!  That would be a real life-changing event.  I raised three of them to adulthood.  It's way more than a full-time job, but an amazing experience that redefines ourselves even as we help them define their own lives.

And the wonderful offer, and the complexities!  Woof!  Your taking your time and thinking this through is clearly the right thing to do.  But the emotional kick from this has to be just out of this world!  Congratulations [emoji322][emoji898].



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