GCS with Dr Wittenberg April 2017, thanks for y'alls help!

[Devlyn]

You wants for I should make him disappear, boss? 

Big hug! Loudmouths are gonna show their stuff. That's their problem.

Hugs, Devlyn

[SadieBlake]

Haha, would that I could have disappeared every bully along the way.

Yeah, it's their loss, it's a pity to be mean, ignorant, bigoted.

Hugs back Dev

Today it's off to Belfast Maine to see my daughter and then Portland for some work with a friend.

[SadieBlake]

Well, here I am, nearly 10 weeks post op: copied from the email update I sent to Wittenberg today.

Things continue to improve, the opening in the sutures is clearly closing with time. Working slows it down I guess because the area is always moving, and sitting for extended periods simply irritates but I seem to tolerate all that ok.

I worked a full day Friday, drove 9 hours Saturday and had another full workday Sunday, even finished a large piece -- it was good to be finally doing some strenuous work. And predictably, I was quite tired at the end of each day, vaginal discharge increased and my labia are a bit in pain from lots of moving about and pressure of sitting. However i feel fine, if tired today.

Dilation is going fine and I tolerate days that only give me time to dilate twice ok, just takes a while to find full depth -- see prior email.

I masturbated yesterday morning and while things were sore from 2 active days and there was some blood from my clitoral hood but it surely felt nice and even after 2 fairly full days, it was clear that a lot more healing has happened since last time.

Today I'm off to my uni's IT department where an old friend is going to help setup changing my email to my real name. I have to keep my gmail account with my old name for a while because of family i don't care to be out to; having my professional email corrected will be sufficient for now.

Aside from all that I've been worrying a bit for our sister Moni, knowing she's doing fine and also remembering well the hard parts about recovery and healing

[SadieBlake]

Huge albeit detail progress today. My main remaining concern has been for that small section of the suture line that had opened to heal. I began to see that it was beginning to close last week and while the 3 hard days I put in Fri - Sun made everything quite sore, healing did seem to continue. So being sore and fatigued, I've taken a couple of down days and low and behold:

That pocket has closed. I'm not gonna say it's healed yet but it's clearly very nearly so.

I'm so damned happy right now :-). This means real soon now I can recommence swimming (need to get a bathing suit),  and maybe soon after that, cycling (I figure this last bit needs a bit more time for the collagen repairs to really be done before I want to sit on a saddle).

All things taken together, I'm really happy about GCS. My aesthetics are good, if not a pornstar vagina. There have been some small complications but it looks like I'm coming away without any necrosis and so far no tissue granulation/proudflesh.

So nearly back to normal, it's a good day :-)

[HappyMoni]

Yea, Sadie  that sounds great. So happy for you and so thankful for all your advice.
Moni

[SadieBlake]

Thanks honey and of course! Xxoo

[SadieBlake]

Another Saturday, another really good session of masturbation :-). The silicone toy I inserted causes only the tiniest bit of bleeding, pain was less all over and I got far closer to an orgasm-y place before stroking of still-healing bits brought pain up to more than pleasure --  I was also running out of time for playing <sigh> and I caught my ride in to work and am soon to go off and be productive.

I'm still most able to enjoy rubbing my mons, putting pressure on the clitoris which is still too sensitive to enjoy direct stimulation. Various areas ofy labia are either too sore to enjoy stimulation or too numb. I'm also pretty sure I'll be going in for anal penetrative sex with a partner before vaginal. That feels a little like an admission of defeat, as capacity to have PIV intercourse has been on of my motivations for vaginoplasty; then again I think the emotional feeling of receptive anal is going to be very different than it was when having a <shenis> was pretty dysphoric in that context.

And this week I'm working more hours than I've tried before -- by about 50% we did an extra hour Thursday in addition to which I started up the lab equipment which requires arriving 90min early. I've also spent all my time out up to today in a skirt, today it's femme cut pants because skirts aren't allowed in the lab I'm heading to.

I'm nearly done with worrying for happymoni - so glad she's doing better and still feeling the empathy for her recovery process that I traveled so recently.

Vaginal discharge is less every week and I'm even wondering now if I've bought more pantyliners than I'm going to need. I do marvel at how long it's going to take to get to a place that's "normal". I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be feeling up to penetrative sex until something like 4 months post op and I'll be surprised if labial swelling will be down enough that I don't have to think about the process of sitting down, getting up at the three month point (I'm going to be disappointed if that's not resolving by 4 months).

On a very bright note, I continue to marvel at how good it feels to be able to just put on almost any pair of panties and konw they'll feel right. Thongs are waiting for things to be just a bit less sensitive but those are pretty soon to be workable also.

[SadieBlake]

And at long last, I am able to wear a thong, the discharge is reduced enough that that's now practical.

One more step along the way, sometimes it's the little things that matter most :-).

[Jacqueline]

Wow, Sadie. What great progress and more than a few "minor corners". Work had me off for well over a month and am only just catching up. It is all so encouraging too. I am looking forward to not worrying about what I can wear and shifting of anything.

I need to check up on Moni. I had forgotten that she had surgery while I was gone.

I agree about glass blowing taking it out of one( without experience). I tried b->-bleeped-<-ipes for a while and was just floored at the lung capacity needed and how dizzy and tired I would get. I've since moved on to torture guitars.

Take care and keep up the great progress.

With warmth,

Joanna

[SadieBlake]

Well that had to be a sight, woman with beard running down street skirt flying signalling driver to stop. Happily I did make the bus, the next one wasn't for another 20 minutes.

So much for trying not to attract attention, blend in eh?

On the bright side having not had much sleep the night before, last night I was out like a light at 9 and slept well. If I'd had to blow glass yesterday it wouldn't have gone well at all.

Here's a thing, with post surgical pain subsiding I'm finding I pretty routinely feel horny now. Like just walking around or riding the bus, here I am getting wet, thinking about sex. For all people talk about men thinking of sex all the time, while I was always very sexual in my male body I didn't ever think about sex during my day. And even now it's not that I started thinking about it, rather my labia and clitoris now just seem to wake up and demand attention at random times.

Sadie is a very happy girl just now :-)

[HappyMoni]

Here's a thing, with post surgical pain subsiding I'm finding I pretty routinely feel horny now. Like just walking around or riding the bus, here I am getting wet, thinking about sex. For all people talk about men thinking of sex all the time, while I was always very sexual in my male body I didn't ever think about sex during my day. And even now it's not that I started thinking about it, rather my labia and clitoris now just seem to wake up and demand attention at random times.

Sadie is a very happy girl just now :-)

Ohhhh Sadie, how I hope I am following in your footsteps.
Moni

[SadieBlake]

Kind of a big day today. I started with introducing Ms Green dilator to my neovagina and was so very glad that after 5 minutes of blue, insertion was easy and painless. So, yay! I'm on schedule, 12  weeks is this Tuesday :-). The last time I'd tried to introduce green had been 3 weeks ago and that alhad been clearly too early - hurty and clearly not ready. Because the blue dilator only prepares me for a dildo that's not one of my favorite shapes, I'm really glad to be upping a size at last.

The other thing ISI got myself to my favorite climbing gym and pulled in plastic for a while. I'm every bit as weak as I'd expected after 12 weeks of little hard exercise but it's all good of course and getting back to it is the start to being strong again.

And now I feel a whole new motivation. I'd love to get svelte enough to look good climbing in a sport bra and capris. That would suggest dropping maybe 25 lbs, and body fat % <20.

In theory I could do that by next spring,

[SadieBlake]

I'm suitably sore, especially forearms of course using muscles I haven't in a long while and it goes without saying I haven't been this weak climbing in a very long time.

This is the way back to strong (and while I workout for strength, not bulk, I don't mind having upper body strength, in fact I depend on it for many of the pleasures in my life.

I hope to be swimming by the end of the week, biking soon after that :-).

[Jacqueline]

Sadie,

You are a feaking dynamo. I hope to follow those footsteps. (kinda have a thing about heights though so can I not climb and maybe bike and sail? Probably not as intensive, oh, well).

Moni,

I love your new avatar.

Warmly,

Joanna

[SadieBlake]

Joanna, kind of you to say, it's always relative right? Eight years ago I culminated a season that had included 5 100+ mile rides with back to back weekends riding 155 in hilly terrain and 90deg temps followed by 135 Boston to Provincetown.

Year before that I did a half iron distance triathlon as a warm-up, switched to training for climbing and spent 3 weeks at 7000-13000 feet altitude in the eastern Sierra ascending a total of 32000 feet of altitude gain.

I'll likely never be back in that kind of shape, in the past 5-6 years my riding has reduced to sporadic commuting, haven't done over 15 miles in a day in a long while or any serious climbing.

Wish me luck with being back in the saddle, I've spent plenty of time talking to female training partners about saddle contact with lady bits, should be interesting.

[Steph Eigen]

Well that had to be a sight, woman with beard running down street skirt flying signalling driver to stop. Happily I did make the bus, the next one wasn't for another 20 minutes.

Sadie,

What is the long term plan for your beard?  The humor in this recent situation is irresistible:  Skirt and beard sounds like it calls for the addition of b->-bleeped-<-ipes...  You might be misgendered... uhhh, mispatriated* as Scotish!

Steph



*if there is such a word, if not, my own neologism; think along the lines of expatriated

[SadieBlake]

Sadie,

What is the long term plan for your beard?  The humor in this recent situation is irresistible:  Skirt and beard sounds like it calls for the addition of b->-bleeped-<-ipes...  You might be misgendered... uhhh, mispatriated* as Scotish!

Steph
*if there is such a word, if not, my own neologism; think along the lines of expatriated

Taking me for Sco'ish (->-bleeped-<-e state of affairs that that is) wouldn't be a complete misapprehension, as I'm something just under 1/8 Sco'ish and ken of myself as Sco'ish in the main ;-).

As to the beard, it's mostly grey so it'd have to go by electrolysis, not laser and I don't have the money for that, or insurance that covers.

Same with the bald. No plans to change that either.

[HappyMoni]

Sadie,

Sorry to bring this topic down. Sadie have you noticed any white skin. I have some forming kind of near my clitoris.

Moni,

I love your new avatar.

Warmly,

Joanna

Jacqui, thanks, it looks like I was trying my hand at hooking in that picture. I later found out most folks staying at that motel were gay. Not a good start to a new career. lol  U know you signed Joanna, right? Old habits?
Moni

[SadieBlake]

Moni, no nothing like purely white. My clitoris has had a bit of a translucent white on the surface for a long time, nothing else like that. I'm glad to send you a picture and I'll send you my email address, please feel free to send me a snap of the areas that worry you.

Sorely wish I was in a position to give you a ride, hugs honey.

[Jacqueline]

Jacqui, thanks, it looks like I was trying my hand at hooking in that picture. I later found out most folks staying at that motel were gay. Not a good start to a new career. lol  U know you signed Joanna, right? Old habits?
Moni

Sadie, sorry I'm rudely addressing Moni on your thread again. I'll be fast.

Sorry to hear your challenges Moni. Yeah, I wish I could help get you down there too...
Actually, today was my first day with the new name. I think I posted that 1-2 days ago. Although I have been worried I would sign incorrectly.

Back to you Sadie.

With warmth,
Jacqueline(I'm being proper now)