Hello everyone,
I've been on and off the forums for quite a while now. I mostly browse the forums and seldom reply to anyone. The forums used to have a veterans section and I can not find it anymore. I have not found many resources with people describing the transition while serving active duty in the US military. I can only give you a glimpse on the US Air Force's process since It's the branch I am in. Now a bit of background of myself. I have been serving between 15 and 18 years in the Air Force as an Aircraft Mechanic. I say 15-18 so you can not gather enough information about me to out me to my unit. So I have been in the closet and typical join the military to become a "MAN" and it isn't working. Got married and have 2 children. Wife is understanding but not sure if she should stay or go. Children are awesome and understanding, but its just the talk, we will see when the transition starts. As of now I should have an academy award for best actor, I play the typical male role very well. And it is wearing on me. I am great at work with socializing and joking around, but I am horrible at off duty social events. When I meet people at work in public I am kind of off standish. It's almost as if the uniform is a prop that brings on the acting I do so well. What brings me to transition is my mental well being. A few years ago I had surgery at Trippler Army Hospital in Hawaii, I prayed that I would not come out of the anesthesia. But it wasn't until the DOD and the Air Force came out with guidance for in service transition that it pushed me to do something. Part of me wishes the regulations did not change, part of me is elated at the change. This is because it was easy to use circumstances to push the trans feelings so far down to make it to retirement. The idea was that I would at least have a steady paycheck if I was discriminated as a transwomen for employment. Because of the changes in regulations, the volume knob for transitioning has been pumped up to the highest setting and the knob is broken in this position. I will be talking with mental health provider on 17 Jan about transitioning. I already have a relationship with him for ADHD. I will be updating people on the process and what is involved so that other people can have a forum to look for and a place to answer questions. Now, working in AirCraft MX (Maintenance) the way people are going to react is the scariest part of transitioning. I have full support of most of my family and I am stationed a 3-4 hr drive from them. I don't suspect many people being accepting or many being unaccepting. I do expect a change in perception of what I am capable of performing in my duties as a result of coming out. I also see them making less opportunities for me to grow professionally as a result of coming out. All of this is pure speculation and based on the banter that is going around the unit at mid level. Of course all of this is nerve racking, but the volume is so loud that I am starting to develop a don't give a $#@% attitude if you accept me or don't. Matter of fact I am starting to gather I don't care to change you're opinion on trans people. I am just going to ignore you as I don't need this negativity in my life. Of course this is how I feel now, as I transition who knows what kind of shift in feelings and attitude will come. I will keep everyone informed and hope to become better at organizing my thoughts as I am sure this post has jumped around from point to point back to a point to finish up. I really need to start socializing more LOL I am all over the place.
With much love and respect
Kaley Grace.
*Edited- Oh yeah and Happy New Year!! Hope 2017 is the best year for everyone!!!*
