Passing in bed without surgery

[PrincessCrystal]

So... Long story short, I ended up in bed with one of my straight friends the ither night, and he was all over me: apparently he hasn't been with a girl in a while and I'm really pretty, so he was willing to ignore anatomical issues.  So there I was, trying to keep my erection from poking things and ruining the moment as this guy is rubbing himself against me, groping my breasts, and kissing my neck.  I'm pretty well hairless, I have a feminine figure, and my skin is very soft, and I think I might have Klinefelter's, so I pass pretty well in a cuddle.  What I didn't like though is that my penis was kind of reminding me and him of the issues here, and it's limiting what sort of positions I can get into with him.  I tried keeping it tucked and I tried keeping myself turned around, but I really wanted to just straddle him and curl up against him, without my annoying poker getting in the way.  I'm not sure how much it bothered him, but it really bothered me that I couldn't just be a normal girl in that situation...

Have any other Transgirls had this issue?  (I mean, obviously you have)  Does anyone have any good ideas for keeping it from poking things in bed?  Maybe some ways I could make it feel less obtrusive and masculine?

[Sophia Sage]

Well, this is what SRS is really for...

But before then, maybe some heavy-duty tucking tape?

[stephaniec]

if he knows I'm sure you can come to some kind of compromise , just be honest about both your needs, especially if he's already friends with you. I had a beautiful time with an old friend of mine.

[Jin]

It would have been hard (no pun intended) for him not to have noticed. And it sounds like he doesn't mind. Been there myself. You are just a girl with bonus parts, relax and enjoy it!

[PrincessCrystal]

I guess I wasn't clear about it... This isn't about acceptance, as I and everyone I do hints with has moved past the acceptance phase.  This is about comfort in bed.  I have a set of genitals which are means for a role I'm completely uninterested in fulfilling at this point, and are getting in the way of the one I'd prefer to, and I'd like advice on how I can feel better about them in the moment.

Does anyone have any actual advice on what they do to help their male anatomy feel more female?  I cannot get surgery any time soon, so that's not really an option.  I want help making this work better for me right now...

[Angélique LaCava]

I've had that  happen that way with guys I've worked with and they had no idea I was trans till I told them. They also said they never seen a trans as pretty as me, but luckily for me In bed I don't get erections anymore so yay me.

Mod Edit- Attacking users is against TOS 15.

[Ms Grace]

Trying to tuck an erection is only going to cause you serious injuries. Erections are going to happen when you get aroused, it's just the way the body works, even when you have low T. The only way to keep an erection down is to not get aroused, a bit difficult if you are in the throes of passion.

[Mariah]

Locking for cleanup.

[Mariah]

Unlocked.


Lets please remember to be respectful to each other. Thanks
Mariah

[Lady Sarah]

Honestly, I think all you could do is stick the erection between your thighs. I used to do that before erectile dysfunction took effect. Perhaps the lack of testes assisted in that ED as I got older. Like the OP, I was not interested in using it either.

[cheryl reeves]

Try panty hose they tend to keep things tucked with a hole cut in the rear for penetration.

[herekitten]

There are artificial vajayjay's which allow you to disguise your member/erection and allow penetration yet providing stimulation to you. I don't know if I could wear such a device because I do believe I would begin giggling leading to laughing whilst attaching it, thus killing the mood.

Your dilemma is not that uncommon. Eons ago when I was in my teen years, we would party across the border at a notorious nightclub (NoNo's). The girls there were for hire, but around 98% of their clients were unaware. The girls had devised an unusual methodology using their hand and hole through their foam paddings allowing their clients to penetrate them missionary without the client knowing.

I would hate for you to have to go to such lengths. A very sexy lacy pair of stretchy crotchless pantines turned backside to front or maybe t-blockers would suppress the unwanted effect and yet keep your desire as others have mentioned. That seems like the best bet if surgery is not in the near future. Just a thought.

[Moomin]

Hi Crystal! Sounds really rough sweetie, so I though I'd give my 2 pence I was just wondering what blockers your on / strength? (don't post) I have kleinefelter's too and after I started taking blockers, I no longer get any erections, even during sex Maybe mention to your GIC that your still having erections, and see if they will increase the dosage. Hope this helps! Xx

[PrincessCrystal]

after I started taking blockers, I no longer get any erections, even during sex

I'm still trying to start: trying to get a therapist to talk to me about it has been slow going...

Try panty hose they tend to keep things tucked with a hole cut in the rear for penetration.

There are artificial vajayjay's which allow you to disguise your member/erection and allow penetration yet providing stimulation to you.

A very sexy lacy pair of stretchy crotchless pantines turned backside to front

I have been thinking of this.


One of the things I've been doing, which no one here has suggested, is removing the hair from most parts of my crotch and keeping everything down there well moisturized, so it's soft and damp and all that.  That's helped a little, as it somehow minimizes the masculinity of the look and feel, but I'm wondering if there's more that can be done with that.  Part of the problem is that, despite the feminine figure I have, and that I don't have large testicles, I also have an above-average sized penis.  I don't mind that per say, but it's a bit hard to keep from poking people, and it's bigger than 2 of the 3 guys I'm dating... :<

[MjaGi]

Sadly I cant give you any advice on how you could yourself feel more comfortable and more female, still having this thing down there. But what would help is ... your guy.
Did he mention that he has any problems with your thing? Me being pre-op, what helped me overcoming this 'thing down there issue' is that he wouldnt bother, he would love me and cuddle, etc.-me the way I am. with this thing or without, and this is what your guy could do too, to make you feel appreciated and female as you are female!

[PrincessCrystal]

We've cuddled with it getting in the way just fine, but it bugs me that that's just what it does: gets in the way.  What I'm asking is if anyone has a better way to make it not feel as obtrusively masculine...

[ScarletRed]

This won't help in the heat of the moment if you're still getting erections but might help when you're not aroused. My method of tucking involves tight boy shorts and pantyhose over that. After pulling things back I pull the boy shorts and pantyhose up at the same time to give me a smooth front. I then put my hand down the back and push the head into the shaft. You will have to do this for a while before you're body gets used to it but once it does it gets easier.Sorry for the crude descriptors but there's no polite way to describe it. If you can avoid getting aroused while tucking in this manner it should work but if you do get aroused it will be uncomfortable. I can usually cuddle and spoon using this method but I'm on HRT. Best of luck ScarletRed


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[herekitten]

We've cuddled with it getting in the way just fine, but it bugs me that that's just what it does: gets in the way.  What I'm asking is if anyone has a better way to make it not feel as obtrusively masculine...

It sounds like you are going to have to do alot of mental changing of the mind sort of thing. Lots of great ideas have been presented. Add your fav perfume to the mix. Don't concentrate on it too much, and just 'let go'. I know it can be an issue to deal with, but it is what it is and she's there for now; and remember -- her size is a blessing in disguise come time for your surgery.

[MissGendered]

Princess,

When I read the title of your post, I thought you meant you needed advice about how to be in bed with a man while pre-op without him suspecting anything. That is a topic I know something about, as I did have a lot of bed time with men before my anatomy was corrected. It was difficult, and tricky, and dangerous, but I managed to get away with it numerous times.

But after reading your post, I see you are asking something else entirely, and to be fair to those that have attempted to answer your real question with real answers, the truth is, there may be no real answer to your dilemma, I am sorry to say. Almost by definition, a penile erection is going to be perceived as masculine and be intrusive to a female minded person like yourself, AND a straight male. It is an amazing feat already to have one straight guy willing to overlook the obvious, let alone 3 guys in your dating pool. You are already more than usually fortunate in that regard, in both my experience, and opinion.

The unfortunate truth is that relief from this problem will likely only come from the usual pathways, namely T blockers, estrogen, and GCS. No amount of tucking, or taping, or pubic hair removal, or clothing options, or any other superficial 'fix' will do. Not for a dysphoric woman, that's why the treatment protocols are what they are, namely, T blockers, HRT, and GCS. Anything short of those, well, falls short of being a true remedy for your issue. Your issue was my issue, as it is still a lot of girls' issue on a site like this. I wish there were an easier 'fix' than that, but as you may have noticed, nobody can come up with one, not one that works, and works reliably. I am sorry you are experiencing your distress, but I envy your situation as far as finding willing straight males while openly pre-op. In my life, such men did not exist. In that regard, you are very fortunate!

So, no, I have no answer for you, and I am doubtful there exists an answer that will satisfy your needs other than those provided by the Standards of Care.

Good luck with your therapeutic journey going forward!

MissyG

[DawnOday]

Sex toys. Get their primitive mind on something else. Another idea is to try tantric sex where touch is the stimulus as opposed to the act. It can be mind blowing. After you give him the sexual experience of his life, it won't matter what you have.