I am transgender during a very weird intersex puberty with unsupportive parents.

[TencentQQmaps]

I basically have almost no male puberty characteristics, but that's ok because I am still pretty young so some other people my age have not started puberty, and people wouldn't always notice that. I stopped growing in height years ago, and have female characteristics which I can hide if I am wearing a sweatshirt.  I apparently seem to be intersex? People in public call me male or female depending on my haircut at the time and what clothes I am wearing (my parents cant notice lol). There were also some pretty weird things I remember from when I was a lot younger. I have been asking my parents to allow me to live as a girl for a long time but they say no. They are emotionally attached to me being male. Each day it gets more obvious the way I am developing, and is getting very quick around now, my dad does not allow me to eat soy because he says I eat it to much "and it contains estrogen" (according to him), my mom says I look female but of course its only because I am fat, meanwhile, I am not fat at all just average. They don't actually admit something is abnormal, even though I got a hormone blood test. I feel sad 100% of the time constantly and the only thing I want is to be able to live as a girl no matter what right now, which feels weird because of the way I am developing. What should I do? Run away? Keep developing until they feel pressured to let me be a girl?

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's Place TQ,  You are in an oppressive sounding situation and I admire your strong sense of self.  I hope you will continue to be assertive about how you feel and what you need.  I wonder if you might be able to see a physician or get medical care on your own.  The legal age for getting health care varies but you don't need more hassles with your folks.  Still, you have the right to know what is going on with your body and path through puberty.

There are many different potential "causes" for being transgender or intersex and, whatever the source, You deserve to enter adulthood with increasing self determination.  Are there school counselors or other adults you trust?  Good for you for speaking up for yourself so far.

[Dena]

I remember you from when you first joined the site. Running away isn't a very good idea because you need money to live on and I am pretty sure you don't have enough. If you did, you could pay for a taxi and a doctors visit for an examination. If your parents won't take you to a doctor, you can only wait until you need to see a doctor and bring it up then. Your only other option is if your school nurse can help you. Some school system have a therapist available and the therapist would be on your side in an argument with your parents.

[TencentQQmaps]

I am not really in need of medical things right now.  I just really want to do whatever I have to do to be able to live as a girl, and it is very bad.  It just makes it even more confusing about the way I am developing, could that be the key to being able to live as a girl and it would pressure them into letting me.  I want to do anything other than nothing and waiting.

[SailorMars1994]

Well girl, i may not be so useful but let me say good on you for having your head on right and knowing what you want ! i wish i was as grounded in truth as you were when i was 13. I am not sure who your parents are, where you live or what not. But i would say education is key. Try to educate them as much as you can or even try to go to a local lgbt community center to educate your parents. I can say i have felt similar things you are feeling. When a family member (and i have had a few) imply that you are ''avoiding manhood'' because of a certian male figure in your life either didnt do this right or that wrong. It is a total slap in the face, and does a lot of damage to an otherwise perfectly healthy transgender person. And you my girl, didnt become trans due to anything like that (sorry, i have read some othe rof your posts and decided to address them here). As i said education is key, and if your parents really want the best for you, then will atleast be open. Education girl, its the key!
-Ashley

[Dena]

I understand you may not need anything medical but you do need a therapist in your corner. You are unable to deal with your parents by yourself so you need an adult that can work with your parents so they can also see what you need.

As I said, either your family doctor or school may be able to connect you with a gender therapist who will understand what you are feeling and help you with your parents.

[MissGendered]

Hey girl!

I am intersex and my parents knew it and tried to make me into a boy anyway.

Soo, had I had proof about my condition as a child, I think that I would have had leverage to be allowed to be who I really am.

So, yeah, my opinion is that you should address your concerns about your possible intersex status with your doctor, without your parents present, and ask him/her about testing you for any conditions that might explain your physical differences. Your doctor has an obligation to look into your concerns, and if he/she won't help, try to find a doctor that specializes in intersex/trans issues and call and try to get a consultation. You have a right to know your situation, and it is even possible your parents know something already and don't want to help you be who you have a right to be.

Just my take on it, since my parents lied to me and gaslighted me all my life. As a result, I suffered through a lot of stuff that was avoidable.

You might want to look at the post I have linked at the bottom of my signature line. This is what happened to me, it may not apply to you, but it surely illustrates how bad living with wrong info can be.

Hope this helps, and I hope you are able to find real answers to your very important questions.

*hug*

MissyG