Delay... And why do I feel this way?

[ChelseaAnn]

So, sadly, I was supposed to start my transition back in October. Money got tight, all to the point that we're now behind on some bills. That is about to change, but there's still bad news.
My FIL is getting me a job with his union, and the process is almost done. However, because there aren't really any guarenteed protections, and my apprenticeship lasts 5 years, that's how long I'll have to wait to start my transition. The money is fantastic, but I can't risk losing the job until my pay is at it's highest in 5 years.
This has taken a small toll on me, but I'm worried about how small. I'm not depressed about it, even though I've already been waiting 3 years since coming out.
I'm not sure if I'm at one of those low points where the dysphoria isn't as strong, or if it's the positive things:
1. More money equals easier transition
2. Laser hair removal will be faster.
3. Still going to my best friends wedding as Chelsea
4. Wife is willing to get me a really good wig
5. Planning on going on a weekend getaway with some of our friends where I will be Chelsea the whole time
6. More time as Chelsea given by my wife.
Among other things.

Anyone else have a struggle like this, where you feel like you should be depressed?

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[SailorMars1994]

I kinda can relate. Times are tough money wise, and for that, since i live in a small town and have no other place to go or any other ways to make money i am joining the military. I will have to go in full man which sucks hard. But its the price :/ ..... It is refreshing to know your wife is being supportive and it seems your friends are to (refrence to wedding). You may not have to wait until 2022 to do the whole process, maybe when you get in there may be other trans people and it could be a supportive enviroment. I would hope so anyway, congrats on the new job tho hunn

-Ashley xox

[Denise]

In 5 years you can do quite a bit - for free.  One of the hardest things to do, IMHO, while transitioning is voice training.  If you have a willing partner that will help.  Practice, practice and more practice.

Another thing you can do to help ease your mind a little is to put away 5, 10 or even 20/week ($, GBP...) into a "transition fund."  At the end of 5 years you'll have 1250, 2500 or even 5000.  That will buy a lot of clothes, laser hair removal, jewelry, makeup, and/or would be a start on Surgeries. It would also be a good fall back if you run into financial troubles for other reasons.

I like the idea of mini vacations.  I've done a few and they are very refreshing.  Have fun.

- Dee

[ChelseaAnn]

Thanks. I'm still just... Feeling odd that I'm not depressed about this huge delay.

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[SailorMars1994]

In all honesty dysporia sucks. So if you can negate that awful feeling i envy you ! But many things could also be a factor. You are starting a brand new journey in life, that could calm your dysporia and what not. When i moved from one place to the other my gender feelings went down in intensitity. Hope you the best you can be