Any tips for a new girl?

[ds1987]

Hi!  So I haven't begun HRT, but am starting to put myself together in the meantime.  I wear makeup consistently, and have been getting good at feminizing my face with regular short hair, but then I put on the wig and it seems to lessen a bit.  I don't know if it's just in my head, or if there are any techniques I should start using to bring my feminine male self to meet my feminine female self.  Also, do you think that some of what I'm looking for just won't be there until I begin HRT?  If I need to be patient, I will.  I won't like it, but I will anyway 

- My male self

[MissGendered]

Well, hun, first off, you look very feminine in either mode, so if being pretty is your goal, count yourself very fortunate, you ARE pretty already!

From my own perspective, I grew my hair out as soon as I ran away from home as a teen and let it grow as long as it would grow, and rocked that 'southern rocker' look as a 'dude'. So, I never wore a wig when I made the switch, but I can only guess that wearing it would have made me more dysphoric, not less. I know that when I stuffed my bra, the same thing happened, I felt phony, and I 'lost' that lovin' feeling, so to speak, lol..

You seem to be doing all you can do to make things better for yourself already, and yes, my goodness, HRT was the fuel that my brain needed to 'believe' I was a girl, even though I have no Y chromosome, lol. Once I was on E, everything about my internal confusion became crystal clear. I can only guess that for an MtF, the same must be true, but that is only my guess.

I was with a woman that wasn't into the reality that I was born female, so I tried desperately to delay everything my doctors told me I needed to do. I delayed HRT, then delayed dressing in front of her, everything. I was being gendered female after about 6 months of HRT while wearing boy clothes and having had no facial hair removal, but I still waited until after I broke up with my gal until I went full time. My point? Once you get on HRT, somebody as naturally feminine looking as yourself is likely to find herself being seen as female no matter what you wear, no matter how long your hair. My guess is that your transition train is going to take off from the station at a crawl and end up as a runaway train very quickly, so to answer your question about what to do to prepare yourself, my answer would be to start clearing the way for a fast track to full time. Once you get on E and T blockers, you are going to be unstoppable...

Yes, transition is about more than 'passing', and there seems to always be more that can, and should, be done. But gosh, for some it starts with a bang, and then tapers off, for others, it starts slow, then builds up speed and momentum. My guess is that you will be the first type..

Hope this helps..

:-) MissyG

[ds1987]

Well, hun, first off, you look very feminine in either mode, so if being pretty is your goal, count yourself very fortunate, you ARE pretty already!

Eep!  Thank you.

My guess is that your transition train is going to take off from the station at a crawl and end up as a runaway train very quickly, so to answer your question about what to do to prepare yourself, my answer would be to start clearing the way for a fast track to full time. Once you get on E and T blockers, you are going to be unstoppable...

This is simultaneously exciting and terrifying.  I have questions about myself.  I also have this desire to know my truth, what has been keeping me locked for years.  That I might finally have found who I am is incredible.  Oi, I can't wait to start therapy, both talk and hormone.

Hope this helps..

:-) MissyG

More than you know 

[MissGendered]

Then by all means, get the answers about yourself clear in your head BEFORE the HRT...

Gender therapy is, of course, the place to sort this stuff out completely. I am glad you plan to do this the right way, when we skip steps, we can make big mistakes. The Standards of Care have evolved into something that serves most of us very well most of the time. Even in my situation, though I was exempt from them, I am glad I did follow the steps as if I were an actual MTF. My success in my own de-transition back to female went much more smoothly than it would have, had I taken mattters into my own hands...

Glad you found my input useful, I sometimes wonder if I am any help at all, since my own trip through the gender jungle has been so unusual...

MissyG

[Tessa James]

I admire you big time for addressing your needs and questions.  As Miss G notes you already look great and have good material, youth and genes to work with.  Being patient is not my strong suit either and I wanted to see changes after the first week on HRT!

I might suggest you give in to the pleasures of just loving yourself along the way.  Shave and moisturizer after a hot bath.  You are going to rock this while passing is something I do in the left lane with my car.  Pass as what? Just a suggestion again but, be yourself.  In the meantime there are literally hundreds of U tube videos about every aspect of appearance, expression and comportment you can readily access.  Have fun and I bet you already do!

[Dena]

While you look good, I think I see what you are seeing. When you have the wig on, the way the hair falls is making your face appear longer and covering your cheeks. Try wearing the wig a little lower on the forehead and pulling the hair back on the sides of your face. That should widen out your face and show more of your features as in the first photo. Some people look good with their face partially covered but you may look better with more exposure.