I'm out to my wife.

[Veda]

We talked this morning.

I wont go into the details now, but it is good, we are OK.

And I'm leaving Susan's Place up on my monitor.

[SammyGirl]

I would like to offer my congratulations to you.  Since I will be facing that hopefully in the not so distant future can I ask how or why you finally decided that today was the day.   

[Denise]

Congratulations.

[Veda]

I would like to offer my congratulations to you.  Since I will be facing that hopefully in the not so distant future can I ask how or why you finally decided that today was the day.

Thank you!  Well, 'today was the day' most due to logistics, we are both busy and Saturday mornings are the time we have together.

But I think you are asking why did I plan to do it now?

I realized some time ago that I wanted to come out, but it is only recently that I discovered that 'Holy S---, I'm coming out!'  Instead of letting it guide me, I wanted to guide it.  So it was either show-up or shut-up, and I decided to show-up.

I hope that helps.

Oh, this thread might help clarify: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218950.0.html

[Donna]

Veda, this is great news!

I came out so far to my daughter two days ago, today I participated in the Seattle Women's march with both my wife and my daughter, and I can tell that it will not be long, Veda, before I also come out to my wife.

I am so very happy for you, Veda.

[LizK]

Well done...coming out to your spouse can be very hard. She is likely to take some time to process this and I hope she had a positive initial reaction. I gave my wife plenty of time and space to work this out but she just said to me

"I hope you don't think you can get out of this marriage that easily...do you?" she was joking...we have a somewhat "sick" standing joke between us about the length of time we have been together. (33 yrs in total)

Liz

[MissGendered]

I am very happy for you, Veda!

And I am even happier that things went well, too!!!!

Missy

[RachelH]

I am very happy for you!!  I know how hard it is...I came out to my wife of 20 years this past summer.  As others have said, she will need to process this.  We are here for you!!! 
Paula

[DawnOday]

I told my wife 35 years ago I felt I was different. I had just come off my first marriage and I think my crossdressing was a reasonable reason for it's demise. My new wife did not mention it again and I continued to crossdress. Almost every day. Over the course of time my dysphoria just kept interfering with everything. I was becoming angry and headed for a breakdown. I promised her I would go to counseling. I had been six times before. When I went this time I had no choice but to address the elephant in the room. After a couple sessions we agreed that more than a crossdresser I was probably transgender. The next session she offered to write the letter for HRT. I have been on now a little over 5 months. I can't tell you the relief it has been. The fact my anger and antisocial behavior has become almost an after thought now. My wife is happier too. No anger, no sarcasm, no put downs. I can be the friend she thought I was so long ago. I'm glad because she deserves it. Glad you encountered your elephant too. It's not going to be unicorns and rainbows but it sure sounds like she is ok seeing it through. Good for you. Best of luck.

Dawn

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations, Veda!  That is one of the most difficult things we have to do.  I am happy for you that it went well.

[Jenna Marie]

I'm so glad to hear it!

[kat69]

Congratulations!   Coming out to my wife was one of the hardest things I eve did, and at the same time revealed my biggest mistake....not trusting her long ago.  She was amazing and is still very supportive.   Life is much more easy once there is nothing that can't be talked about.

[Veda]

Thank you all.

Just an update. 

She and I have been talking over the past day, more than we have talked since we first started dating.

We went for a walk with the kids, the first time in years.

It's still sinking in for her, and for me. 

I have to say, I'm tired, I feel I could sleep for a month of Sundays.

[MissGendered]

I have to say, I'm tired, I feel I could sleep for a month of Sundays.

That's a nap well-earned, girlfriend, sweet dreams!

;-) Missy

[Donna]

Veda,
I am just days, less than seven before I do the same thing. Come out to my wife.
I am ready, very ready to come clean.
I just want a private moment with her.
My goal: before next Wednesday's group support meeting at Ingersoll, Seattle.
I just need that private evening after our two college student children are out of here. I need a private evening to let my wife digest things.

Veda, you inspire me.
I am Woman, Hear me Roar! ( I heard a few women chant this Saturday at the Women's March. )

[Veda]

Veda,
I am just days, less than seven before I do the same thing. Come out to my wife.
I am ready, very ready to come clean.
I just want a private moment with her.
My goal: before next Wednesday's group support meeting at Ingersoll, Seattle.
I just need that private evening after our two college student children are out of here. I need a private evening to let my wife digest things.

Veda, you inspire me.
I am Woman, Hear me Roar! ( I heard a few women chant this Saturday at the Women's March. )

My best best wishes for you.