What to do for first session?

[Selena]

So, tomorrow is my first therapy session. I'm well past the point of questioning and my primary goal is to get approval for hrt. Is there a good way to approach this so the therapist knows I'm serious about transition? I don't want to toil in months of therapy waiting for my letter.

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[Michelle_P]

Be yourself, and dress as you identify. Have your presentation together.

This sends a powerful
message that you know who you are.

Be upfront. Tell the therapist that you are transgender and are seeking HRT. Remember that gender dysphoria and being trans are self-diagnosed. You are there looking for something specific. You have a goal in mind in seeing a therapist.

That's about all I can think of. Anyone else?


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[Nina_Ottawa]

Long time ago as I went into my therapy sessions, the last thing on my mind was hormones. My goal was to have someone listen, someone who understands someone like me.
That first session, my therapist said right at the start, "I do not make any decisions or make assumptions. I want you to be open."
That first session was amazing. I'd say I did 90% of the talking, she sat, listened, took notes. In that first session, she helped me understand my angst and anxiety. She learned about my upbringing, what makes me tick. She helped unlock doors in my mind.
As I was leaving, she said "Nina, you're going to love transition." I had an ear to ear smile, but as I sat that night thinking about that first session, I though "what now?"
Over the next four sessions, we talked a lot, and by the fifth session, I was seeing her as Nina. It was at that fifth session she said "Nina, I want to get you started on HRT. But only after seei an endocrinologist to see what your body can handle. What if you can't go on HRT? Would you still transition?" I said yes, and I stand by that today. She said "good answer."
Almost 10 years later, hormones did not make me Nina.
Therapy did,
Living full time did.
Hormones were a nice add on.

I'd be worried if your sole agenda is to get on hormones. Hormones will not make you a woman. They'll have an impact one way or another, but ask yourself: if you had a blood condition or some reason you couldn't go on hormones, would you still transition?

[Devlyn]

Be yourself, and dress as you identify. Have your presentation together.

This sends a powerful
message that you know who you are.

Be upfront. Tell the therapist that you are transgender and are seeking HRT. Remember that gender dysphoria and being trans are self-diagnosed. You are there looking for something specific. You have a goal in mind in seeing a therapist.

That's about all I can think of. Anyone else?


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^^^Pretty much this. I told my doctor I was genderfluid but preferred a female presentation and had erectile dysfunction. I'm getting hormones and Viagra. Doctors treat you for who you are and what you need. The days of memorizing the Trans Narrative™ are over. Walk in confident with who you are. If you can't do that, then maybe some therapy is required. Be strong! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[DawnOday]

Be honest. I went 6 times over about 35 years and could never reveal my secret. On the 7th try, I spilled my guts. The second one we expanded on how I've been affected as we were finishing up, Kristi asked if I wanted to start HRT. It took about twenty seconds to think about it. On my third session she handed me the letter. In the mean time I was contacted by a social worker who helped me select the Doctor I would need. Recommended some social clubs in the area. And laid out all the services I was eligible for including an Orchi. I cannot go through any other surgeries because of health concerns. If you do not need stress relief, tell the truth or be prepared for mindfulness group therapy.

Dawn

[Inarasarah]

Long time ago as I went into my therapy sessions, the last thing on my mind was hormones. My goal was to have someone listen, someone who understands someone like me.
That first session, my therapist said right at the start, "I do not make any decisions or make assumptions. I want you to be open."
That first session was amazing. I'd say I did 90% of the talking, she sat, listened, took notes. In that first session, she helped me understand my angst and anxiety. She learned about my upbringing, what makes me tick. She helped unlock doors in my mind.
As I was leaving, she said "Nina, you're going to love transition." I had an ear to ear smile, but as I sat that night thinking about that first session, I though "what now?"
Over the next four sessions, we talked a lot, and by the fifth session, I was seeing her as Nina. It was at that fifth session she said "Nina, I want to get you started on HRT. But only after seei an endocrinologist to see what your body can handle. What if you can't go on HRT? Would you still transition?" I said yes, and I stand by that today. She said "good answer."
Almost 10 years later, hormones did not make me Nina.
Therapy did,
Living full time did.
Hormones were a nice add on.

I'd be worried if your sole agenda is to get on hormones. Hormones will not make you a woman. They'll have an impact one way or another, but ask yourself: if you had a blood condition or some reason you couldn't go on hormones, would you still transition?

This!!

I cannot add anything, this exactly defines my therapy visit, with the exception that my therapist was male.  But my experience was the same and yes to therapy and living full time made me Sarah, hormones helped enahance a few things, as did surgery.  Great insight and post Nina!!

[Selena]

Thank you all for the advice.

I realize that my original post might have come off a bit "Anit-therapy." I've actually spent a decent amount of time in therapy. From age 12-19 I was going for anger management. As a teen my dysphoria manifest as anger. The therapist always thought I was holding something back and not telling him the whole truth. I stopped going when he retired. I felt that therapy was helpful, even though I never told him the real reason I was angry. I am planning on continuing to go even if I get HRT. If they were to hand me the letter tomorrow I would still want to go. I'm a very driven person and I tend to move fast on things I want/need. Once I've made up my mind on something I am unstoppable. It's my only stereotypical male trait I cherish. It does make it always seem like I'm on a mission and I need to learn to slow down a bit.

Nina
I completely understand where you're coming from and it's a fantastic question to ask. If they were to ask me tomorrow my answer would be, "It's not a matter of whether or not I am going to transition, only to what extent will I be able to. I would like to do everything, though I understand that there will be road blocks. Not transitioning isn't an option. I've tried and failed to be everything except what I truly am and I'm just really tired. Being this other person has drained all of my happiness and left me physically ill. I want the medication and I want the surgeries, but I could be content with just being me, finally."

The stress and anxiety had been building up for the past few years. When my son was born I figured I'd give being "normal" another try, so that he could have a father. Mine left when I was really young and I didn't want him to ever have to deal with that. Before he was born I wasn't "OUT" but I was living as myself. This past summer it got so bad that I collapsed at work when everything got to be too much. It was then that I decided I need to do something about it. I did some soul searching and came out in November. During those few months, I read lots of material and plotted the entire plan of how to carry out a transition. I'm good at that sort of thing, I like checklists and schedules.

As to presenting as myself, that will be really easy since I got rid of all of my male clothes. I only wear female clothes with the exception of my super hero t-shirts. Besides, Deadpool is cool no matter what gender you are. My major weakness right now is my make-up game, it's too weak. I always end up looking like a member of the french aristocracy.

[kaitylynn]

Everyone has hit the mark pretty well.  When I met with my current therapist, it was simply a matter of needing an objective ear to help me solidify my course.  She told me quickly that the questions she most commonly hears were one's I had already answered, so it was time to get focused.  To have this affirmed, whoa!

By being open with her and not holding anything back, I knew that the responses I would get would be based on a bigger picture.  I realized quickly, what we discussed was between her and I...what would be the point of redacting any point of my existence...and that made magic!

In the end, you are in control of how the session goes.  Doubtful there will be much you can cover in your session that has not been heard before, so any shyness in internal to you; why be quiet to yourself?

[Selena]

So, I just got done with the appointment. She was so nice. Immediately made me feel welcome. Asked all the required questions and listened to everything. By the end she told me to take 2 weeks, decide what I want and come back. If a letter is what I want she'll give it to me. I told her I plan on continuing on with therapy for some time. I was over thinking everything and worrying about nothing. Thanks again to everyone.

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[LizK]

So, I just got done with the appointment. She was so nice. Immediately made me feel welcome. Asked all the required questions and listened to everything. By the end she told me to take 2 weeks, decide what I want and come back. If a letter is what I want she'll give it to me. I told her I plan on continuing on with therapy for some time. I was over thinking everything and worrying about nothing. Thanks again to everyone.

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Great Outcome..I was the same as you....so nervous but once my Dr at the 1st appointment looked at my paperwork including another Psychiatrists report and a therapists report. He took the time to read it and at the very next appointment didn't say much to me but wrote the letter as we chatted. I was like you expecting all sorts of rubbish to "convince"...not needed.

Great stuff for you...onwards and upwards as they say

Liz