These days women are expected to have employment as well, but you are correct that females choose males who can provide well for them. In fact, the dating measuring stick includes just how well prospective male partners can do that.
Why put up with men, give them sex, clean up after them, share their space with them, etc., if they can't improve the woman's social and/or financial status? After all, most cis women simply toss under-performing males out the door and move on to better prospects.
As a female, that's how I was.
Yet, as a partial transmale (unknown to me), my male partners soon found themselves in a fight to compete with me financially, as my jobs and income quickly outstripped theirs. I couldn't stop myself resenting them for trying to help me, wanting to do everything for myself.
I wasn't very good being like other females, who typically encourage their men with admiration and compliments for their efforts.
Now that I'm allowing my male side to express more equally, I can see those opposing gender trends in me.
Perhaps you are also experiencing perspectives from more than one gender. After all, most cis males, want more than anything to provide for their females, and it's a source of pride. I undercut this natural need in my male partners with my own competitive male traits.
